Margaret was desperate to remain in Michael’s life. At first, Margaret thought she couldn’t live without her. She flirted with the idea of suicide, but Leonard convinced her that it was quite likely Michael would change her mind. So she had continued to write love letters to Michael, reminding her of what they meant to each other. Margaret wrote Michael that they had come to this world separately, but somehow they had found one another. They had once loved each other deeply, and her love was still there for Michael. She once promised to take care of Michael through any sickness. All Michael had to do was give her a chance.
She walked over to the small graveyard where they had buried their dogs. Bright yellow whirls of marigolds dotted the grass. She picked one to press into a letter for Michael. The chrysanthemums they had planted the first year they moved here were in bloom, and the mint they had transplanted from Maine looked healthy. No leaves or fruit were left on the apple tree, but she walked over to it anyway. She found a yellow apple on the ground and picked it up. The fallen apple and gray branches of the tree reminded her of a song she heard as a schoolgirl in Switzerland long ago. She couldn’t recall the title, but she remembered the haunting, emotional voice of the singer. Something about cherry trees and not appreciating the people who really love you. Maybe if she played that song for Michael, it would convince her to come home, that this was the time for them to be together. Margaret put the apple in her pocket and called Crispian back to the car. They drove out of the gate and past the barren trees toward Dot’s home.
*
Michael grew steadily more exhausted but hadn’t stopped touring or missed a single curtain call. She and Margaret wrote to each other, but Michael kept her distance from Margaret. She was convinced that the stress of her relationship with Margaret had caused her leukemia. She grew more and more religious as her health diminished and decided her attraction to Margaret was a sin. She concluded that if she was to regain her health, then their physical relationship had to end. If they were really Christians, as both professed, then they should be able to fight their desire to be together physically. They should be able to love one another only as friends.
At first, Margaret was only wounded by Michael’s words, but then she grew angry. She wrote letter after letter to Michael defending the nature of their love. Those letters only grew the divide, but Margaret couldn’t stay silent. She knew Michael’s time was limited and pressed her to remember their old life together. Margaret vowed to change and become someone else. Someone less needy and, if an asexual relationship was what would help Michael heal, then she could become the friend she needed. Margaret simply wanted to be with her before it was too late. Michael’s response was a terse telegram stating that the only communication she could accept from Margaret was complete silence.
Eighteen
1949
Margaret’s Root Soup Recipe
Boil small amount of water and salt. Dice onions and potatoes as you go into boiled water and also chopped parsley and leeks. Take off the minute potatoes are cooked and add more chopped parsley and butter, and cream if you like. The trick is to cook quickly and unevenly, and not for long.
In the midst of all this personal turmoil, Margaret’s professional life was thriving. Golden had offered to renew Margaret’s contract and to increase the number of books of hers that they would produce to four per year. She was in negotiations with Harper for another six books, and three more were coming out from other publishers. Television and radio shows for children were on a rapid rise and had caught Margaret’s fancy. She saw how the blending of sound, images, and emotion she and Leonard aimed to create in the Noisy book series was manifest in television. Even with radio and records, it was possible to mix music, stories, and poems in exciting new ways.
Fortunately, she still held music and performance rights to most of her poems. She could rewrite those and sell them as she wished. She also could rewrite her stories into audio scripts. She went to record companies with samples in hand and walked away with deals from Young People’s Records and Columbia.
Golden, too, was intent on turning their extensive line of books into recorded stories with songs. At first, Margaret fought with Golden’s publisher, Georges Duplaix, to keep her rights. Georges offered to discuss a deal with her, but she had to keep in mind that Golden also intended to develop television and audio recordings on all their forthcoming books. They could no longer allow Margaret to hold back rights or cut her own deals with other companies. Georges warned her that no matter how much they liked a work, they would decline to publish it if they could not have all rights.
After looking at the numbers, Margaret saw that, over time, she stood to earn much more money with Golden than with Columbia and Young People’s Records. They were producing many more records than either of the other companies and printing more copies of each record they made. Even though the other companies paid Margaret a higher royalty, a record with Golden stood to be the most financially fruitful for her. Harriet Pilpel had negotiated a fair split on those rights, and Margaret quickly rewrote her Golden stories so that they could be performed as songs or sound-rich stories on the radio.
*
At this time, Margaret joined ASCAP, an association for songwriters and composers, so she could meet composers who could help put her words to music. Burl Ives, the exceedingly popular folksinger, agreed to lend his voice to one of her songs. She met with Oscar Hammerstein II, Alec Wilder, Rube Goldberg, and a host of other composers. She knew that, as she had with Gertrude Stein and so many of her illustrator friends, she could train songwriters and popular singers to tweak their talents toward what would appeal to a child.
She imagined different ways to combine music and books. For Young People’s Records, she added sound effects to her stories and songs. She wanted Golden to publish an illustrated book of music that could be placed flat on a piano. They could place a sleeve in the front of the book to hold a record album. If they made it oversized, it would stand out on the shelves of a bookstore and couldn’t possibly be ignored.
When preparing to leave for Maine that summer, she packed copies of her books so she could mine new songs from those pages. She also shipped fur pillows and a lion-skin rug that included a fang-bearing head up to the Only House. The previous year, she had hired a local contractor to build a small house on a rock outcropping at the edge of her property, and it was almost complete. Margaret wanted to give the little home to Michael but had little hope Michael would ever see it. Her old lover remained steadfast in her refusal to see Margaret.