I did not. I don’t think Clare lost any sleep over hooking up with James. And in any case she didn’t deserve my approbation. She owed me nothing. James and I broke up long ago.
No. I thought that perhaps … perhaps she had merely wanted to watch. To see how I took it. Perhaps that was the same reason she outed Nina. Like a child who sees a teeming anthill and simply can’t not poke it.
And then they step back … and watch.
‘How about you, Lee?’ Flo said suddenly, and I looked away from Clare, jerked out of my thoughts.
‘Sorry, what?’
‘Did you enjoy that?’
‘Ish.’ I rubbed my shoulder, where I could feel a bruise already forming. ‘My shoulder hurts though.’
‘You got a right whack from the recoil on that first shot, didn’t you?’
The kick of the gun had surprised me, whacking back against my shoulder bone with a whump that knocked the breath out of me.
‘You have to hold it firm in the first place,’ Tom said. ‘You were like this, look.’ He reached up and took down the shotgun over the mantelpiece and braced it against his shoulder, showing me the loose stance that had cost me a bruise.
The muzzle of the gun was pointing directly at me. I froze.
‘Hey!’ Nina said sharply.
‘Tom!’ Clare struggled up straighter against the sofa cushions, looking from me to Tom and then back again. ‘Put that down!’
Tom just grinned. I knew he was joking, but in spite of myself I felt every muscle in my body tense.
‘God, I feel like Jason Bourne,’ he said. ‘I can literally feel the power going to my head as I speak. Hmm … let’s interrogate a few people. How about this for starters: Nora, why in all the years I’ve known Clare has she never mentioned your name?’
I tried to speak – but my throat was suddenly so dry I could barely swallow.
‘Tom!’ Clare said more sharply. ‘Call me paranoid but should you be waving that thing around after all Grig’s wise words about guns fucking you up?’
‘It’s not loaded,’ Flo said, and yawned. ‘My aunt uses it for scaring rabbits.’
‘Still,’ Clare said.
‘Just kidding around,’ Tom said. He gave another wolfish grin, showing those unnaturally white teeth, and then lowered the muzzle and hooked the shotgun back on its pegs.
I slumped back against the sofa feeling the wave of adrenalin recede, and my fingers uncurl from their rigid fists. My hands were shaking.
‘Ha fucking ha,’ Clare said. She was frowning like someone totally failing to see any funny side at all. ‘Next time you want to wave that thing around, can you make sure it’s not one of my friends on the sharp end?’
I shot her a grateful look and she rolled her eyes at me as if to say, ‘Dick’.
‘Sorry,’ Tom said mildly. ‘Like I said, just kidding, but I apologise if any offence was caused.’ He gave a mock bow in my direction.
‘Right, scuse I,’ Flo said with another yawn. ‘I’d better make a start on supper.’
‘Want a hand?’ Clare said, and Flo’s face lit up. Her smile was extraordinary – it transformed her whole face.
‘Really? I feel like you should be acting like the queen of the day.’
‘Nah, come on. I’ll chop or something.’
She heaved herself up off the sofa and they left the room, Clare’s arm slung companionably round Flo’s shoulders. Tom looked after them, as they left.
‘Funny couple, aren’t they?’ he said as they left the room.
‘What do you mean?’ I said.
‘I can’t quite fit the Clare I know together with Flo. They’re so … different.’
The remark shouldn’t have made sense, given that they were so physically similar, and both dressed in an almost identical uniform of grey stonewash jeans and stripey top. But I knew what he meant.
Nina stretched. ‘They’ve got one really important interest in common though.’
‘What’s that?’
‘They both think Clare’s the centre of the fucking universe.’
Tom snorted, and I tried not to laugh. Nina only looked sideways out of her glinting dark eyes, a little wry smile twitching at the corner of her mouth. Then she stretched, and shrugged, all in one fluid movement.
‘Right. I might phone the old trouble and strife.’ She pulled out her mobile and then made a face. ‘No reception. How’s yours, Lee?’
Nora. But there was only so many times I could correct people without seeming obsessively controlling.
‘I don’t know,’ I said, and felt in my pockets. ‘That’s odd. It’s not here. I’m sure I had it at the shooting range – I remember checking Twitter. Maybe I left it in the car. I don’t think I’d have any reception either, though – I haven’t had a bar since I got here. You got a bit of reception from our room earlier, didn’t you?’
‘Yeah.’ Nina had picked up the phone receiver and was jiggling the cradle. ‘This one’s still out. OK. I’m going upstairs to hang off the balcony and try to get a bar or two. Maybe I can send a text.’
‘What’s so urgent?’ Tom asked.
Nina shook her head. ‘Nothing. Just … you know. I miss her.’