“He pulled the trigger, and she just…dropped. Her expression was so surprised. It wasn’t until then that I shot him. I waited until it was too late, and then I finally acted—no.” Chris blew out a hard breath. “I reacted. And action beats reaction every time.”
“No. No, no, no.” When she realized she was chanting the word over and over, she clamped her teeth together. Even though hearing about it, talking about it, was as painful as having her guts scooped out with an ice-cream spoon, Daisy didn’t want to stop. She had to know, had to have those details, and she was positive Chris would stop talking about it if she got hysterical on him. She forced herself to breathe. “It was me. I screamed. It was my fault.”
“It wasn’t you, Dais.” His hand stroked over the back of her head. One or both of them was shaking. “He decided, and I knew, but I didn’t shoot him until it was too late to save her. And I never heard you scream.”
It was overwhelming—too many new details that didn’t mesh with the old memories, the ones she’d always assumed were right. She thought she should reassure Chris, should tell him it wasn’t his fault, but words weren’t lining up in her head right. Instead of saying anything, she just leaned her head on his shoulder and clutched his shirt. For the moment, breathing was all she could manage.
Chapter 12
Daisy didn’t know how long they sat there before she relaxed her grip on Chris’s shirt and turned her head to the side. Enough time had gone by for the movie to finish and start looping through the opening sequence.
“I’m going to donate that movie to the library.” Her voice sounded rusty. “I might not be able to blame Taylor for being useless without being a hypocrite, but she still pisses me off.”
His chest moved with a laugh that was more of a hard exhale. “I’ll take it with me and drop it off.”
He shifted, and she forced her fingers to release him completely. She felt too raw to meet his gaze, so she studied the mess of melted ice cream and brownie goo left in her bowl.
“Did you…” Chris cleared his throat. “Do you want me to leave?”
“Leave?” Her eyes snapped to his. “No. Definitely not. I was trying to think of a not-awkward way of asking if you’d stay tonight.” At his shocked expression, she shook her head, hating the blush that invaded her cheeks. “Not, like, in a dirty way. And now I’m talking like I’m Tyler’s age. Sorry.” Taking a deep breath, she started again. “There’s a lot happening in my brain right now, so I know I won’t sleep. If I’m here by myself, I’m going to end up in the training room, beating up on poor Max until I pass out. You don’t have to stay up or anything. I just don’t want to be alone.”
His expression unreadable, he eyed her for a long time.
Daisy finally couldn’t hold back the prattle. “Don’t feel obligated to stay, though. Max will eventually forgive me for pulverizing his internal organs. I’m used to staying awake.”
“I’ll stay.” He was still looking at her oddly, though.
“What?”
“What what?”
“You’re acting weird.”
He gave a short bark of laughter. “Sorry. I’ll try to normalize.”
“I’d rather you just tell me what the problem is.”
“It’s not a problem, really.” He stood and gathered the abandoned desserts, as if he needed to move. “I’m just surprised you want me here, that’s all.”
“Why is that surprising?” She followed him into the kitchen. “I like having you around. Well, most of the time. You do have those occasional annoying moments, but they’re rare, and I’m forgiving.”
Dropping the bowls on the counter, he turned toward her so quickly that Daisy took a step back. “Are you?”
“Am I what?”
“Forgiving.”
“Yes.” The word came out slowly and a little warily.
“I guess you’d have to be.” That time, his laugh had no humor in it.
“You’re being weird again.”
“Sorry.” He stared at her. “Do you think you could forgive me?”
“For what?”
Bracing his hands on the counter to either side of him, he stared at the tile floor. Finally raising his eyes to meet hers, he said quietly, “Hesitating.”
It took her a moment to figure out what he was saying. When realization struck, her whole body jerked with shock. Her mouth opened, but there was no air for speech.
“Never mind.” He turned away from her, but Daisy lunged forward, grabbing his arm to spin him around.
“Chris…” Even though the words in her brain weren’t any more ordered than they had been earlier, she knew she couldn’t stay silent. “It wasn’t your fault.”
His blank expression didn’t change. “I had the shot, but I didn’t take it.”
“He decided, you said,” she argued. “He’d made the decision to kill my mom.”