My hand reached under my pillow as I took the box holding the ring out and looked Adaline in the eyes and smiled.
“Adaline, you mean more to me than anything. My life is nothing without you in it. Will you marry me?”
I smiled as I opened the ring box while Adaline stared at it. A tear rolled down her cheek as she pressed her lips together.
Her eyes met mine as she swallowed hard. “I love you so much, Emmit. But I can’t marry you right now.”
My heart dropped to my stomach as I pulled away from her and stood up. “W-what?” I asked as I looked at her.
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she wiped them away. “I was going to talk to you tonight, but then you won and I didn’t want to take away from that.”
My mouth dropped open as I stared at her with a stunned look on my face. “Well fuck, Addie. I’d say you turning down my marriage proposal is a pretty big downer.”
Adaline jumped up and pulled one of my T-shirts on over her head. She looked so damn adorable. All I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and kiss her to erase the last few seconds.
“Emmit, this is the last thing I want to do, but I need to be honest with you. I’m not sure this is the life I want. Being on the road like this and living out of this bus. At least not right now.”
My knees shook as I reached out for something to keep me from falling. “What are you saying, Addie?”
Adaline’s blue eyes looked into mine as she said, “Emmit, I’ve always dreamed of being a nurse, and I can’t go to school and be on this bus every week with you and go to school. As much as I want to be with you, I can’t give up my own dreams.”
“Addie, I want you to follow your dreams. If you want to go to school, I’ll stand behind you one-hundred percent. I can fly you in for the races, baby.”
A look of despair moved across Adaline’s face. “Emmit, I can’t be going to school and then fly out every weekend. It would be too much.”
My heart was pounding so loud in my chest, I was sure she heard it. “Okay. So we’ll figure something out, Addie. Just tell me you’ll marry me and, baby, you know I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
She shook her head and wiped more tears as she looked away. Glancing back at me, Adaline’s blue eyes looked empty as a small sob escaped her lips. “Emmit, I don’t know if it’s going to work with us being apart for so long. I know you. You’re going to want to fly in and see me or want me to fly out and see you. It will become too stressful.”
My chest tightened and fear raced through my body. “What are you doing, Addie?”
“I think we should maybe take a break for a bit. You need to get settled into this life and I need to get settled in Austin.”
“Austin?” I asked with a confused look on my face.
Adaline barely spoke. “I got into the nursing program at UT.”
“What the fuck, Addie? When were you going to tell me you were planning to leave me? How long have you known you were going to do this to me?”
Adaline pointed to me as anger filled her eyes. “Don’t you do that to me, Emmit Jerome Lewis. Don’t you dare make me feel guilty. You don’t think I’m confused as hell right now? I want to be with you. I love you, Emmit!”
With a curt laugh, I shook my head. “You love me? You love me, Addie? You’re fucking breaking up with me, on the biggest day of my career! I just asked you to marry me and you said no.”
Sitting down on the bed, she buried her face in her hands. “Emmit, I don’t want to leave you,” she whispered as I slipped on a pair of shorts and made my way over to her. I sat down next to her and dragged in a deep breath.
“Addie, I don’t want to do this without you. Baby, I want to give you the world.”
Adaline threw herself into my arms and held me tightly. “I need to do this for me, Emmit. I want to be with you too, but I need to find who I am and follow my own dreams. If I don’t I know I’ll end up regretting it and taking it out on you.”
I pinned her with my stare as I pulled back from her. “Why can’t you follow your dreams and still be mine, Addie?”
Her eyes lit up as she gave me a weak smile. “I’ll always be yours, Emmit. Always.”
I knew I needed to let Adaline follow her dreams. “Please don’t fall in love with someone else, Addie.”
Her lips pressed to mine as she whispered, “Never.”
My heart wanted to believe her, but my head knew better.
Three Years Later
STARING OUT THE WINDOW, I watched everything go by as we got closer to the track.
I was back in Texas, and those old feelings bubbled up. Anytime that happened, I usually found the closest girl and tried to push the memories away with a quick fuck.
It was either that, or get drunk. I couldn’t really get drunk when I had a race in a few days.
With a frustrated sigh, I dropped my head against the chair and closed my eyes.
Adaline.