But suddenly, Charlotte’s voice fades and her head whips around towards my curtain. Footsteps approach and as Lizzie pulls my curtain back, Nicky drops her hands from her head again.
Charlotte smiles at Lizzie as the nurse moves forward next to my bed, as though Charlotte had just been passing on supportive words to Nicky and smiles to me all along.
‘Oh, hello, Charlotte.’ I can hear a small frown, surprise, in Lizzie’s voice, but she doesn’t notice the atmosphere that hangs in the air like pollution.
‘Um, so sorry to leave you, Ms Breton,’ she says, adding in a more discreet voice, ‘bit of an emergency, I’m afraid.’
Nicky at last lifts her head, her eyes red. She shakes her head, knocking my bedside unit again as she moves. ‘No, no, that’s OK, I have to go now anyway.’
Her voice shakes, but Lizzie doesn’t notice as Nicky grabs her bag from the floor, clutching the strap like a lifeline as Charlotte says, ‘Well, it’s been good to talk, really. Such a relief to be understood, isn’t it?’ Charlotte’s voice doesn’t waver; she doesn’t flicker or blush, her lies indistinguishable from the truth.
Nicky doesn’t say anything and she doesn’t look at Charlotte. She just nods quickly, her head bowed as she pushes her way past Charlotte and Lizzie. Nicky’s boots sound heavy again against the floor as she rushes away and I know Nicky wasn’t here to defend herself. Nicky was here to finally tell the truth.
Jack’s car was warm.
Lizzie blinks, surprised by Nicky’s abrupt departure. ‘Oh, bye then,’ she says to Nicky’s back before she turns to Charlotte. ‘Was it something I said?’
Jack wanted Nicky; he wanted other women.
Charlotte’s eyes stay fixed on the space where Nicky just stood and she shakes herself briefly, as if she’s just woken up and, turning to Lizzie, she smiles and says, ‘She’s a bit emotional, that’s all. I think she found it hard seeing her uncle like this.’
Cassie was in the way.
The phone starts ringing on reception. Lizzie looks towards the noise, hoping someone else might take the call, before she says to Charlotte, ‘God, it’s one of those days, I’m afraid’, and she hurries away from us again, towards the reception desk.
As soon as she’s gone, Charlotte seems to deflate as she exhales long and deep. She grips onto the end of my bed frame by my feet with both hands, and closes her eyes, and says a quiet mantra, ‘She’ll pay, she’ll pay.’ Still with her eyes closed, she shakes her head gently, back and forth as she says, ‘No one saw, no one knows. It wasn’t his fault.’
Her words sting like a swarm of bees inside my head.
She’s not accusing Nicky because Nicky did it. She’s accusing Nicky to protect Jack.
I think she feels my stare, because she opens her eyes and I know she’s seen a shadow, this small ghost of Frank Ashcroft pass behind my dull stare and without meaning to, I blink.
Shit.
She stares at me.
‘You blinked,’ she says, her voice dumb with shock. She keeps her eyes fixed on me and I focus on the muscles around my eyes, forcing them to keep still, to not even flicker.
But she doesn’t smile like everyone else when they see me blink. No, her expression hardens like it did with Nicky.
She turns around, behind her, and calls, ‘Lizzie!’
She pulls my curtain back
‘Lizzie!’ she shouts again, agitated now, and Lizzie appears, slightly pinked from exertion.
‘Sorry again, Charlotte. Honestly I don’t know what’s going on today—’
‘He just blinked,’ Charlotte says, interrupting Lizzie, pointing a finger towards me.
Lizzie’s young face turns towards Charlotte and breaks into a wide smile, as though she’s just about to reveal the most delicious secret. She nods her head.
No, Lizzie, don’t!
‘Frank’s wanted to keep it quiet, haven’t you, Frank? Until he’s well enough to say proper words.’ She turns to me briefly before turning back to Charlotte. ‘But I suppose you basically guessed, Charlotte, so I can tell you that, yes, Frank is getting better!’
Stop, Lizzie!
‘But Mr Sharma said he was in a permanent vegetative state.’ Charlotte’s voice is bald with shock.
‘Well, that’s what he thought but, no, I’m happy to say he was wrong this time.’ To prove her point, Lizzie looks down at me and says, ‘Isn’t that right, Frank?’
I keep perfectly still.
‘Oh, he’s probably just a bit tired. He’s got an infection at present, so he’s probably feeling the effects of the antibiotics,’ Lizzie says as she picks up my file and opens it to start taking my readings.
‘To be honest, I’m surprised you and Jack didn’t know something was up, Charlotte. He’s an absolute superstar. He’s starting to blink out words. Even though he’s got this infection, I heard he was absolutely determined today. Mary said it was like he was on a mission. He would not rest until he blinked Jack’s name!’ She turns to Charlotte and frowns briefly because Charlotte’s not smiling, not like she thought she would, but it doesn’t stop her talking.
‘Frank’s been here all along. He knows everything we’re saying, understands everything perfectly. Isn’t that right, Frank?’
Jesus, Lizzie …
Both women turn to look at me: Lizzie’s face smiles down at me briefly before turning back to my machines; Charlotte looks blanched, queasy, her mouth small and twisted, like she’s straining to keep it under control.
‘In fact, the doctors think he’s got supersonic hearing; they reckon he could hear a pin drop on the ward. But don’t worry, Frank’s promised me he won’t give away any of our secrets. Isn’t that right, Frank?’
They both turn towards me, but again I don’t move. Lizzie glances down at me before looking at Charlotte. She’s disappointed; usually Charlotte’s full of smiles.
‘Charlotte, are you OK? You’ve gone really pale suddenly.’
Charlotte’s eyes stay fixed on mine, and her focus burns my retina worse than any of the doctor’s torches.
‘I’m fine, Lizzie, really. Just happy for Frank and surprised we didn’t know.’ Charlotte’s voice has a new, mechanical quality like an automaton.
‘I keep thinking, maybe by the time the baby’s born, Frank will be able to talk to us all! Won’t that be something!’ Lizzie says, her smile fading because Charlotte hasn’t lifted her head away from me. Lizzie frowns, before she remembers what she’s supposed to be doing and starts scribbling down the numbers from my machines while Charlotte keeps her eyes on mine, hard as bullets.
I can tell she knows what I’m thinking.
I heard you warning Cassie.
I feel her thoughts running alongside my own.
I heard everything you said to Nicky.
‘You heard,’ she says to me, so softly I can hear the saliva move around her mouth.
‘Sorry, what was that, Charlotte?’ Lizzie looks up from her folder.
His car was still warm.
‘I was just saying what wonderful news this is.’ Charlotte smiles at Lizzie and Lizzie smiles back, delighted that Charlotte seems to finally understand.
He wanted her gone.
From the other end of the ward, an emergency alarm starts to screech again, the sound panics the air around us.
It was Jack.