If There's No Tomorrow

My heart sank. No. I had to play. I could—

“But you should heal a hundred percent and there should be no long-term effects within reasonable exceptions. But we’ll tackle more of that later.” Dr. Arnold stood, and I wondered what he meant by within reasonable exceptions. “The seat belt saved your life. If the others were wearing—”

“Thank you,” Mom cut in quickly. “Thank you so much, Dr. Arnold. I cannot express how grateful I am—how grateful we are—for all that you’ve done.”

Wait a second. There was something missing here. Something more important than volleyball and chest tubes. How did I get here? What happened?

“Others?” I gasped out, glancing at Lori.

My sister paled as she plopped down in the chair beside where Mom stood.

Dr. Arnold’s face went expressionless, like he’d slipped a mask on. He said something about how long I would be expected to be in the hospital and then hightailed his butt out of there.

I shifted my gaze to Mom. “What...what did he mean about others?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?” my sister asked when Mom didn’t answer.

Mom glanced at her sharply. “Not now, Lori.”

“Yes.” I took a shallow breath. “Yes. Now.” I tried sifting through the gaps and the empty parts. I remembered talking to Mom on Saturday, telling her I—“I went...to Keith’s party.” Closing my eyes, I ignored the throbbing ache in my head. “I remember...”

“Remember what?” Mom whispered, slowly sitting back down.

My jaw pounded as I ground my teeth together. The pool party. Sebastian. Thinking he was going to kiss me again. Being thrown in the pool. Talking—no, arguing—with him afterward, then... “I remember sitting down with...with Abbi by the pool and... I don’t remember anything else.”

I love you, Lena.

I love you, too.

Who had said that? Abbi? Megan? It was one of them. I lifted my hand in frustration, wincing as the IV tugged at my hand.

Mom caught my hand, carefully lifting it to her lips. She pressed a kiss against my knuckles. “You’ve just had a lot of information dumped on you right now. You should be resting so we can get you out of here and back home. We can talk about this later.”

What had the doctor said? The seat belt had saved my life, but the others—he made it sound like the others hadn’t... Oh my God. There were others in the car with me.

“No.” The beeping in the machines picked up, matching my heart rate. Trying to sit up, I felt like I was being dragged down through the bed. “I want to know...about this... I want to know what...happened right now.”

Tears filled Mom’s eyes. “Baby, I don’t think we should talk about this right now.”

Someone screamed—Megan?

“Yes,” I gritted out. “Yes, we should.”

Mom closed her eyes briefly. “I don’t know how to tell you this.”

“Just say it,” I pleaded as my heart thudded so fast I thought it would rip through my chest. Was it Megan? No. Abbi? I couldn’t breathe. Sebastian? Oh God, Sebastian had given me a ride to the party in his Jeep. Oh God.

I tipped my head back, struggling to get enough air in my lungs.

Mom carefully lowered my arm. “You weren’t in the car by yourself.”

Oh God. Oh God.

Pressure clamped down as my gaze moved frantically from Mom to Lori. My sister looked to the small window, squeezing her eyes shut. “You were in the car with Megan and...and her cousin Chris. Phillip and Cody were with you, too.” Lori blinked as she faced me, and then I saw them—the tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Lena. They...they didn’t make it.”





CHAPTER ELEVEN



“No,” I whispered, staring at Lori. “No. That’s...that’s not right.”

Dropping her head, she placed her hands over her face. Her shoulders shook, and a tremor coursed through my body. My heart was racing as I struggled to get in enough air. “No,” I said again.

“I’m sorry,” she replied.

I flipped my gaze to Mom. “She’s wrong. Right? Mom, she...she has to be wrong.”

“No, baby.” Mom still held my hand—held it tight. “They...they passed away.”

Shaking my head slowly, I pulled my hand free. I lifted my left arm. A sharp stabbing sensation radiated all the way up to my shoulder. “I don’t...understand.”

Mom took several deep breaths and seemed to collect herself. The sheen of tears glistened in her eyes as she leaned over, resting her hands beside my hip. “Do you not remember anything about the car accident?”

I tried in that moment, really tried, but all I could grasp were pieces of conversations. Something about chicken nuggets, and I...I could, if I tried really hard, remember standing in the driveway of Keith’s, looking at Cody and thinking something and saying—

Maybe I should drive?

That had been me. I had asked that question. I knew I had. The feeling of unease surfaced, of hesitation and concern. I saw myself stopping at the back passenger door of an SUV—of Chris’s SUV. Maybe I should drive?

No. No.

I shut my eyes tight as a knot of emotion expanded in my chest. I didn’t understand. I’d been sitting with Abbi. Sebastian had driven me to the party. How had I ended up in the car with them? How had Megan—

I couldn’t think of that. I just couldn’t do it. “What happened?” I rasped out. “Tell me...everything.”

Several moments passed. “The police...a deputy knocked on the door at eleven o’clock. I was still up. I was in the kitchen, and when I looked outside and saw him, I knew something had happened. The police don’t show up—” Mom cut herself off, and I opened my eyes. Her lips trembled. “He told me that you had been in a very bad car accident and had been medevaced out to INOVA. That I needed to get to the hospital immediately.”

“She called me when she left. I drove up here, overnight.” Lori scrubbed a hand over her forehead. “They didn’t tell us anything at first. We heard that there were two patients brought in here. Both were in surgery.”

I shifted my legs under the thin blanket. “Two? Is—”

“It was Cody,” Lori said, shaking her head as she looked up at the ceiling. “He passed away last night.”

Last night? Sunday? “How?”

“We don’t know exactly. I haven’t spoken to his parents since they were called to his room,” Mom answered, her gaze searching mine. “All I know is that he had severe head trauma. I don’t think...” She exhaled roughly. “I don’t think they ever expected him to wake up.”

No. He couldn’t be gone. I remembered talking to him at Keith’s. He’d been joking about stealing Sebastian’s keys and going for a ride. There was no way he was...he was dead. Cody was...was the quarterback. He’d be playing in Friday night’s game alongside Chris and Phillip. Rumor had it Cody would play for Penn State. He was just talking to me, wasn’t he? Joking and messing around.

But if Chris and Phillip were with us, too, that meant...that meant they didn’t...