I stand in position, waiting for my verbal lashing, while he moves around the small room. His makeshift desk is scattered with papers and files like he's been studying for hours. I focus on my posture and try to keep the fear from showing on my face. My career is completely fucked, and I didn't even get to enjoy it as it went up in flames.
"On your fucking knees." His order surprises me. I've been disrespected as a woman many times along the way, but never like this, and especially not by a superior. I've always managed to prove myself to my unit, and the guys usually had my back in any situation that came up, even the ones who I know don’t want me here.
"Excuse me, Sir." I’m desperately trying to shelter the rage boiling inside of me with my tone.
"I said. Get. On. Your. Fucking. Knees." My eyes meet his as I struggle with his command. Deep, dark blue, penetrating eyes dominantly sever into mine. What in the fuck?
"If you want to keep your position on this mission, you'll make me forget what I just saw you doing. There's really only one way I can think that you can do that." I'll never drop to my knees for this man. He can die trying to make me.
He's watching me as I process his words. That fucking smirk on his face makes an appearance again, and my hatred begins to grow.
"In fact, if you're good enough, I'll even let you pay the debt for your little fuck buddy, Captain Harris." Shit. I stand there with what I hope appears to be confidence, when in all reality, I'm dying inside. I can't degrade myself enough to beg on my knees for my position. I'm better than that. I know I'm done forever, but to defy Harris by not giving him the loyalty I know one hundred percent he'd have for me, isn't an option.
There's a very large grey area when it comes to sexual relations while on active duty. First, I could argue that we're truly not active at the moment. It's definitely something that's frowned upon with Officers; we set the mood for the entire squad, and the last thing we all want is everyone trying to fuck everyone else. Harris and I are both Captains, so it's not completely against the rules, but it’s reason for reprimand, that's for certain.
"Unless you'd rather I report what's still going through my head. I mean, the images are burnt into my brain while I try to decide how to handle this raging hard-on you've caused." I don't move. I'm frozen in the position I've stood so many times, listening to the words that will change my life forever. I know this. I can feel that much.
He has a hard-on? For me? Jesus. What the hell is going down here?
He stops directly in front of me, his shirt bulging from the obvious muscles that are hidden beneath the fabric. That beard catches my attention again. It's one of the longest ones I've seen allowed in the Army, but then again, Special Forces has its own set of rules. He's older than I am, I'd guess by at least five years, maybe six. His eyes are demanding. I still can't look into them. It’s as if he’s trying to degrade me. This man is pissing me off.
"Captain. Don't leave me waiting." He stands proud as his eyes trace my body. This uniform isn't flattering in my opinion, but he obviously thinks otherwise. His stare has me aching all over again. My body betraying me in ways I can’t express or begin to understand. Fuck, I’m confused all to hell.
I start to rationalize my options. I'm really not left with many. I can suck off my Commander and hope he holds his end of the bargain, or I can walk out of here, knowing my fate.
"CAPTAIN. ADDRESS ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU." The loudness of his voice startles me into a tighter stance.
"Sir, yes sir." He moves closer, inspecting me closely as he does. He walks all the way around me, close enough to inhale my scent if he wants to. Feeling him brushing my ass with his hand, I flinch and feel a burn from his simple touch.
"That's better." The breath from his deep voice hits my ear as he passes. He moves in close to my face when he finishes circling me. His inspection of my body is obviously over. I find myself cringing with the way I feel right now. My new Commander is a prick, and this is not exactly the best first impression for either of us.
"What's your decision, Captain?" His deep grumble is more than a whisper, but not easily heard.
"I haven't done anything wrong, Sir." The intensity in his face increases. He's pissed off, and I don't really know how to cool down this situation with words. I'm left with defending my actions and hoping for the best.
"That's subjective." I continue to stand with what little pride I have left flowing through my body, working hard to send the perception that I have more than is really there. "I can't have my soldiers constantly trying to get their dicks wet, or in this case, their *." That last word comes out in a deeper voice than the rest of them. Why is that on the verge of sexy?
"I assure you, I'm completely professional and you'll have no issues regarding me or Captain Harris." I mean every word I say. Truthfully.