I got out of the tub and dried off. As I stepped into the darkened room next to the bathroom, I saw the t-shirt on the bed just like he’d told me. I slipped it over my head and looked back at my pile of clothes on the floor of the bathroom. I planned on burning them the first chance I got. I didn’t want any reminder ever of the horrible ordeal that I had gone through. I had to admit that the bed looked huge and inviting, but I wasn’t the least bit tired. In fact, I was keyed up. Plus, I didn’t want to be alone.
The door that faced the front of the apartment was open, and I made my way back out into the room that I had first seen when Shayne carried me through the door. The lights were off, but I saw his silhouette set against the backdrop of the buildings outside. He didn’t turn around.
“You should rest.” His words made me jump. I shouldn’t have tried to sneak up on him. He had a sensory perception honed by years of fighting against men who would try to sneak up on him to take him down.
“I’m not tired.” My body was awake in an entirely new way, and I felt a surge of warmth run through me. I crossed the room and put my hand on his arm. “I haven’t said thank you yet.”
“It’s my fault you were kidnapped in the first place,” he said. His voice was harsh and filled with anger, but I didn’t step back. Those emotions weren’t directed at me. I knew that there was a war of self-loathing going on in Shayne’s head, and I thought I understood why. “I’m sure you think I’m disgusting. What I did back there…”
“You saved my life,” I said simply. “That man, Bill, was going to rape me, Shayne. Then he was going to kill me. It didn’t matter if you paid the ransom or not. He was starting to play off the book. There was someone else he was working with, but I heard him say one thing to him and do another thing to me. Then, just before you got there, he went a little nuts. He cut my shirt, and said-“
Shayne covered my lips with his finger. “I’m not sorry I did it, Lex. That’s why you should stay away from me. I could have done something different. I knew what I could do with that hold, and I didn’t care. I knew what he had been trying to do, and I lost it just thinking about what would have happened if I hadn’t gotten there in time. That’s why I broke the guy’s neck. He’s dead, and he’ll never be able to touch you again. And hopefully, his partner understands the message that I’ll do the same thing to him if he tried anything else. I know I should feel guilty about it, but I don’t.”
His words hit me with brute force, but I could see that he was trying to use them to push me away. I wasn’t going to let him do that. He had to know that I wasn’t disgusted by what he had done. “I don’t care about that,” I said. “You saved me. Thank you.”
He pulled away from me. “That’s not the first time I’ve killed someone, Lex.”
I felt a ripple of shock through me. He saw my expression, and he laughed, but it held no humor. “Oh yes, Lex. You should run far, far away from me. Why do you think my dad is fine with keeping me at arm’s length too? It’s because of what happened with my mother.”
“What happened?” I whispered. I could see that he was full of pain. I wanted to take that pain away.
He closed his eyes and shuddered. Then he looked at me. His eyes were silver in the moonlight. He was breathtaking. “No more secrets. After what happened, you deserve to know the whole truth. Sit down, Lex, and I’ll tell you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN - SHAYNE
For a moment, in the bathroom, I had been ready to confess my feelings for Lex. She looked so small and vulnerable in the tub. I wanted to protect her. Pull her against me and promise that she’d never have to be afraid again. But then I remembered who I was.
I was dangerous. Unhinged. A killer.
Lex sat down on the coach. She looked like an angel sitting there in my favorite t-shirt with her hair flowing around her shoulders. I wanted to take a picture of her like this so that I could remember this moment forever. Somewhere along the way, I had fallen for Lex Carroll, despite the fact that I wasn’t worthy enough to even look at her much less touch her. She deserved far better than me.
I turned back toward the window. I couldn’t look at her as I unburdened this part of me that no one other than my dad knew. No one was supposed to know the truth. It was too horrible to be true. I could see her reflection in the glass as she waited patiently for me to be ready.