“Anyway, I think it’s a good thing that I saw him,” Alison announced, and she was careful to make sure it sounded like a good thing. For extra measure, she went over to Rose and hugged her, reassuring. It was easy enough to do, hug your mom, why don’t you do it all the time? Rose certainly responded, smiling up at her with such instantaneous gratitude that Alison felt her heart clutch. Why all the sniping at your mom? What was the point? “You don’t have to worry so much, Mom,” she said. “I didn’t lose the love of my life! He’s just a high school boyfriend.”
There was a finality to this that felt fine. Years of idiotic behavior were put in a box and labeled, stuck in a corner of the basement along with old art projects and worn-out Halloween costumes. “At some point, seriously, what’s past is past and you’re an idiot for hanging out in a place that doesn’t even exist anymore,” she declared, definitive. “That thing with Kyle is just done done done. We have to figure out something else to talk about.” The floating awareness that this was merely true breathed through her with something resembling hope. “You know what?” she said. “I have to go wash my hair.” And then that was what she did.
—
THE “SURPRISE VISIT” she had decided to make was welcome and easily explained, especially since she hadn’t yet met Megan’s twins, who were already toddlers. Rose was happy to see Alison and so even was her father, whose skepticism about his wayward daughter had eased considerably since she had started making money. He was still never around, always off golfing or at the gym, but when she did catch a glimpse of him he was nice enough. In his distant dad way, he was proud of her for being on television and didn’t care that the show was crap. Megan, meanwhile, was pregnant again and desperate for help and companionship, so Alison’s glamorous irony was entertaining when she drove over to Walnut Hills and tried haplessly to lend a hand with those twin toddlers. There was a kind of joyful and unthinking chaos that carried everyone through Alison’s sudden arrival, but after a few days she knew that they were whispering behind her back. What, after all, was she doing there? And how long was she going to stay?
She herself could not have told them, although she was not as ignorant of her heart’s maneuverings as she pretended to be. She knew the nature of the storm that was gathering on her horizon and she also knew that there was no way to run from it. Not that she precisely wanted to run from it. The universe had come calling, and she felt the reckless joy of having summoned it. She also wanted to kick it in the face. So many girls in her position turned into utter nightmares at this juncture, making surly and constant hysterical demands, exacting a cost for being given everything everyone told you to want. But any hunger for self-indulgent rage around Alison’s personal choices had never been acknowledged. She was from Ohio. People didn’t act like that here.
In fact, they didn’t act like this anywhere else. Disappearing into the Midwest was not generally considered even a possibility in the Hollywood playbook; consequently, it was a tactic with a short shelf life. The very day after Alison’s chance meeting with Kyle, her mother’s phone rang, and Rose answered it.
“Why, yes, she is,” she informed the caller. “Just a minute.” She held the receiver out to Alison, who was sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of Cheerios. “It’s for you.”
Alison glanced up, surprised, and took the phone. “Hello?”
“You don’t answer your cell anymore?”
“Ryan?” She had a moment of thinking, How on earth did you find me, but then that would imply that she didn’t want to be found. When in fact things weren’t at all that clear.
“I’ve left messages everywhere, are you avoiding me?”
“Why would I avoid you?” Her mother behind her, eyes going wide, looked worried suddenly. Alison waved her off. “It’s my agent, Mom.” This announcement seemed to worry Rose even further. People didn’t have agents in Ohio, and she clearly thought Alison should treat this important person with more respect. Alison dragged the receiver back to her bedroom and slammed the door on the chord.
“I just needed to go home and see my family.”
“For a whole week?”
“I needed to see my sister, she’s got these twins now, they grow up so fast. My mom’s been bugging me. How did you find me?”
“You have a lot of loyal fans. Your Wikipedia page is very informative.”
“You got my parents’ phone number off my Wikipedia page?”
“Listen, I was getting desperate. I was about to start tweeting all your stalkers, to find out what they knew.”
“That joke is in poor taste.”
“So is bolting New York when the hottest director around has taken a very special interest in you.”
“I’m sick of interest,” she muttered.
“Not this kind you’re not. Louise Nagler just called, to check on your avail, for the spring.”
“Meaning?”