“Well, old buddy,” he said and turned toward his friend. “You’re looking positively adequate, which is an upgrade from the last time I saw you.”
“Thanks, ya bastard,” Win said, eyes sparking. “You always make a guy feel like a million quid. Which is funny since you wouldn’t know a thousand quid if it bit you in the arse.”
“Wait until you see my bill for these shenanigans. We’ll keep the tourists out of Blenheim yet. Laurel,” Gads said and gave her a quick hug. “Or Pru. Or whatever my half-witted friend calls you. I’m chuffed to meet you, despite your wretched taste in men. Shall I take your luggage upstairs?”
“They need to get out of here!” Mrs. Spencer said. “Posthaste!”
“All right, all right. But we have some matters to discuss first. Come, let’s conference in the library. Lady Marlborough tells me you two are sneaky little bookworms. How appropriate. I’ve brought you one helluva read.”
Seventy-six
THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF
HER GRACE THE DUCHESS OF MARLBOROUGH
GLADYS DEACON SPENCER-CHURCHILL
I, Gladys Deacon Spencer-Churchill, an adult residing at 4 Banbury Road, Banbury, Oxfordshire, England, being of sound mind and marginally serviceable body, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament.
1. I revoke all wills and codicils previously made by me.
2. I appoint my stepgrandson Lord George William Colin Spencer-Churchill, known colloquially as “Gads” for some inexplicable reason, as the executor and trustee of this will (hereafter referred to as “my Trustee”).
3. To each living direct descendant of my late husband Charles Richard John Spencer-Churchill, the ninth Duke of Marlborough, Earl of Sunderland, and Marquess of Blandford, I give the sum of ten thousand pounds, free of tax, but only to those descendants who have not yet reached the age of twenty-five at the time of my death.
4. To my longtime handyman Tomasz Kosinski I bequeath the sum of one hundred thousand pounds, free of tax.
5. To Laurel Innamorati I bequeath the primary residence at 4 Banbury Road (hereafter referred to as the “Primary Residence”) located in Oxfordshire, England, as well as all objects and personal effects remaining therein, including but not limited to my collection of literature. This Primary Residence is circled in red on the map provided in Appendix A to this will.
6. To Jerome Casper Augustine Seton, Earl of Winton, I bequeath the land surrounding the Primary Residence and all ancillary buildings, barns, outhouses, artist studios, and other structures not considered the Primary Residence. This parcel is outlined in green on the map provided in Appendix A to this will.
7. To Laurel Innamorati and Jerome Casper Augustine Seton, Earl of Winton, I bequeath the thirty-three Impressionist and other paintings (the “Collection”) enumerated in Appendix B to this will, subject to the stipulations outlined in clause 8. All thirty-three pieces of the Collection are currently housed at Lord Winton’s residence at 24 Quai de Béthune, Paris, France. Miss Innamorati and Lord Winton shall give to Mr. Kosinski one painting of his choosing as repayment for his assistance in transporting the Collection to Lord Winton’s residence.
8. Of the remaining thirty-two pieces in the Collection, Miss Innamorati and Lord Winton shall select exactly one dozen to bequeath to a museum or other nonprofit entity. There shall be no territorial, religious, or other restrictions as to the recipient of these donation(s). Miss Innamorati and Lord Winton shall then divvy up, at ten apiece, the remaining twenty pieces of the Collection as they see fit. If there is a dispute between parties as to which paintings shall be donated or to which organization(s), or the divvying amongst parties, my Trustee has the final say.
9. Should either Miss Innamorati or Lord Winton not survive me by thirty days, his or her share shall be distributed to his or her then-surviving children in equal shares. If the deceased has no surviving children, his or her share shall be distributed to the other beneficiary.
10. To the Marlborough family I bequeath the portrait of me as rendered by Giovanni Boldini, which shall be hung in the grand Saloon at Blenheim Palace so that the Marlborough family and the tourists who pay its bills will be permitted to gaze upon my face daily.
11. Subject to the payment of my funeral and testamentary expenses and the legacies outlined in clauses 3 through 10 above, I give my residuary estate to the Oxfordshire Spaniel Sanctuary.
12. I wish to be buried after a Roman Catholic service. During the service, the hymn “How Great Thou Art” shall be sung. I request a reception following in the grand Saloon at Blenheim Palace.
To those reading this will, or benefiting from the will, or inspecting it for one’s own prurient interests, I shall close with a quote from my dear, departed friend Marcel Proust.
“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
Be happy. Love one another. Chase joy. There is so little of it to go around.
Her Grace the Duchess of Marlborough