I kept my irritation in check and reminded myself that she had every right to ask these questions. “What I’m trying to say is that I did shit for Gibson that led to him forcing me out of town. And yes, I’m not a good man, Tee. I’m not the man you thought I was, but neither is he. That’s what I need you to understand here.”
She moved off the stool she sat on and commenced pacing her small kitchen. I didn’t speak again because I wanted to give her the space to process this new information. Even when the silence became deafening, I kept my mouth shut.
Finally, she met my gaze again. “I’m finding it hard to believe all this, but I can’t think that you’d make something up like this just so I’d believe you didn’t want to leave me.”
I heard the confusion in her voice and knew I’d succeeded in helping move her closer to the truth. She wasn’t quite there yet, though, so I needed to do a little more work.
“Do you remember your twenty-third birthday?”
Her eyes narrowed as she thought back to that day. Nodding slowly, she said, “Yeah, kind of. Why?”
“You worked that day, and while you were at work, flowers were delivered. The note said—”
Her memory kicked in and surprise flickered across her face. “Holy fuck, I didn’t even put it together. They were from you.”
Moving to where she stood, I ran my finger lightly down her cheek as I nodded. “Yeah, they were from me.”
The card had read Happy birthday. It’s time to move on and live again. If you fall, I’ll be there. It referenced a sappy quote that I’d found about six months after we started dating. She’d been going through some shit with her family, and I’d told her if she fell, I’d be there for her. She’d made fun of me for it because she hadn’t thought a dickhead like me would say something like that. She was right; they weren’t words I would have ever said, but I’d been young, dumb, and in love, so I’d gone out of my way to impress her. It’d worked. After she’d made fun, she’d fallen harder for me and gave up her virginity about a month later.
She stared up at me, seemingly lost in her memories. A moment later, a tear slid down her cheek. Only one, but I’d never known Tenille to be a crier, so this was significant. “It took me so long to get over you. Even after I married Craig, I still wasn’t over you,” she whispered, her voice full of raw emotion. “I loved you so damn much, but we were in such a bad place, and I hadn’t said all the things I wanted to say to you. I hated that the most. I really fucking hated that the last time I saw you, I yelled at you for being a fucking asshole to me, because even though that was true, I still loved you, and I’d wished that the last thing you ever heard me say was I love you.”
I nodded, not taking my eyes off hers for even a second. “I knew you loved me. I never cared when you called me an asshole, because at least you were still communicating with me. There were months after Charlie was born that I doubted we’d ever make it out of that black hole. I’ll never forget that first huge fight we had when you started to find yourself again. It was one of the best fucking days of my life, because I knew I was getting you back.”
Her breaths came faster. “I’m sorry that I fucked it all up back then.”
I gripped her cheek and shook my head. “No, you have nothing to apologise for, Tee. You had no control over that depression, and when you worked out what it was, you did everything in your power to fight it. So don’t you ever fucking apologise for it again.”
She placed her hand on mine as another tear fell. “Where have you been living all this time? What have you been doing?”
My chest squeezed with regret and hatred towards Gibson. He’d taken this woman from me. And everything we might have been able to build together. I fought the urge to kiss her. It wasn’t that I was still in love with her—I’d had to find a way to move past that over the years—but the familiarity I felt pulled me towards wanting a taste of her again. I knew she felt it too by the way she was looking at me. Maybe we never got over our first love, regardless of what we went through with them.
I let my hand fall away from her and took a step back. While I would always think of her as my wife, she wasn’t mine anymore, and I needed to remember that. I wouldn’t drag her through any further heartache with me. “I moved to Sydney.”
We sat talking for close to two hours. I filled her in on what I’d been doing with my life since she’d last seen me. Not that there was much to tell, because mostly I’d been taking care of club shit and doing anything to avoid thinking about the way my life had turned out. Those things involved drinking and sex—two things I was sure Tenille wouldn’t want to hear about, so I did my best to steer the conversation away from me, to her and Charlie.
Our conversation would have lasted longer, but I received a call from King. Excusing myself, I went outside to take the call. I knew instantly that something was up. King’s hard tone gave that away. “Hyde, need you back here now. Sorry, brother. Got a situation that calls for you.”
“What?”
“Jacko was killed last night. And when I say killed, I mean fucking executed. I need you to help me figure out who it was because Kick’s dealing with baby stuff, and Nitro and Devil are busy with other shit. And at this point, you’re the only other person I trust for this job.”
“Fuck,” I muttered. Not because this would drag me away from Charlie and Tenille, but because it was just one thing after another with the club. And, fuck… Jacko. We hadn’t been close, but I’d always liked him. “Give me an hour to leave. I’ll tie up some shit here first.” That’d put me back in Sydney by ten tonight, maybe earlier depending on traffic.
“Call me when you get back.” With that, he ended the call.
“Everything okay?”
I turned to find Tenille watching me hesitantly. Her new acceptance of me seemed a little shaky. I’d need to get back to Melbourne soon so I could strengthen that.
“No, some club business has come up. I need to go home and sort it out.”
She wrapped her arms around herself, and I sensed her retreat. “Okay.”
“I’ll be back as soon as it’s dealt with. I want time with Charlie. I figure me going home will give you a chance to talk with her and help prepare her for seeing me.”
Taking a deep breath, she nodded. “Yeah, I guess.”
I stepped closer to her. “You’re not going to change your mind on this, are you?” Not that I would let her, but I wanted her to be comfortable with it.
She shook her head. “No. But it’s complicated, you know? I’ve gotta get Craig on board with it, too. And God knows how Charlie will take the news. I’m just worried, is all.”
I stopped myself from telling her that if Craig had a problem with it, I’d settle that fast. Taking shit slowly wasn’t how I usually ran my life, but on this occasion it was called for. “I’ll give you my number. Keep me updated.”
We exchanged numbers and I gave her my address before leaving her to head back to the motel so I could grab my gear and make the trip home. Disappointment that I hadn’t had any time with Charlie sat heavy in my gut, but it was a feeling I was old friends with, so I simply carried it with me like I always did.
Chapter 6
Monroe