TEARS CRYSTALIZE INTO salts, salts flake into dust, and dust gets swept away into the endless sky. And in the end we are left with a choice: swim or drown. The right choice is often the hardest. Drowning is so easy to do and takes no effort—you simply go weak and float deeper in the despair that consumes. But Pike wouldn’t want that for me, and I need to fight for Declan.
So I took my love’s hand and started to kick, trusting that together I would find my way to the surface. That was two weeks ago, and today I feel hopeful.
It was four days ago that I laughed for the first time since I said goodbye to my brother. A part of me thought I’d never laugh again, but I did, and oddly, it was Davina that pulled it out of me. Declan thought it would be good to have her over for dinner. He didn’t tell her anything we had been dealing with, but she knew something was wrong when I walked into the living room a disheveled mess. One would think a guest would be somewhat reserved, but not Davina. She called me out, telling me I looked like shit. It wasn’t just her crass honesty, it was the appalling look on her face and in her tone of voice, which she somehow managed to deliver in a caring way.
And I laughed.
That was all it took.
For a couple weeks Declan has postponed all his meetings and has given Lachlan time off. Declan and I need this time for us to be together and to mend. I feel myself healing little by little.
Declan has been showing me around the city. We’ve dined everywhere from The Tipperary to the Michelin-awarded Le Gavroche. I fed the ducks at St. James Park, and Declan couldn’t hold in his laughter when two geese started chasing after me. The next day, we opted for Hyde Park where we were able to lay under the sun, wrapped in each other’s arms. We kissed and talked for hours that afternoon. And then there was the London Eye. Despite my fear of heights and Ferris wheels, I threw caution to the wind and got on. Although I never got off the bench in the center of the glass capsule, Declan appreciated my effort.
We’ve been desperate for this time together, and now that we have it, we want more.
“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” Declan asks as we lie in bed, bodies naked and sticky with the smell of our sex in the air.
“Back to Brunswickhill.”
“Of all places, you choose our home in Scotland?”
“I love it there.”
Running his fingers lazily through my hair, he comments, “You love it that much?”
With my head tucked under his chin, I nod and then kiss his neck as I drape my leg over his hip. Declan grabs my ass and pulls me closer to him, forcing my * to grind against his hardening cock. Eager for him to fill me again, I reach down, take him in my hand, and guide him inside of me.
“Fuck me, baby,” he growls in need, and when he rolls onto his back, I reach my hands behind me to grab his thighs. Opening my body up to him even more in this position, I fuck him as his hands touch every part of me—caressing, squeezing, pinching. He drives me wild, making me cum all over him, the whole time reaffirming my place in his world—in his heart.
“Let’s go there,” he says in a heavy breath as our hearts slow.
“Where?”
“Your fairytale castle.” He gives me a sexy smirk, and I release a soft laugh when excitement swells at the thought of going back to Scotland.
Something happens to me physically as we drive through the gates of Brunswickhill. I can’t fully explain it, but maybe this is what home feels like. It’s just the two of us, hand in hand, and for the first time in a very long time, my heart doesn’t feel so heavy.
When we get to the top of the winding drive, I hop out of the car, drop my head back, take in a deep breath, and smile.
“What are you doing?”
Declan wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me in close, and with my lips still painted in joy, I tell him, “It feels good to be back.”
“This house is your home now.”
“I’ve never had this before. I’ve never known home until right now—right here with you.”
“It’s a first for me too, darling, but I wouldn’t want this with anyone but you.”
His lips land on mine, taking me in a claiming kiss as my hands get lost in his hair. I taste his happiness when he dips his tongue inside my mouth and glides it along mine. This foreign feeling that swirls inside me takes me over and laughter slips out. He doesn’t stop dropping kisses on me though, and it’s only a matter of seconds when he begins to laugh too.
“What’s so funny?” he mumbles against my mouth.
I pull back and look up at him. “I’m just happy.”
Declan walks back to the Mercedes and pops open the hatchback to the SUV to grab our luggage, and as he does, I turn to look at the large, tiered fountain.
“Declan, look!” Amazed by the blooms, I walk over to the massive fountain and inhale the earthy scent.
“They’ve always bloomed in there,” he tells me as I look in wonderment at all the lotus flowers.
White mixed with every hue of pink, each one flawless despite the murky water they rose from. They glow as they bask in the sunshine.
“They’re so beautiful.”