Chet’s laugh was an ugly sound that made her cringe. “Forget him. He’s your past. I’m your future.”
“No-ooo!” The word tore from her throat and Hope jerked upright, her heart galloping.
It took several seconds for Hope to realize it was only a dream. She looked around her bedroom—not the parlor—and took several deep breaths. Sunlight streamed in through the lace curtains and a robin chirped happily outside her window.
Finally calm, Hope began the morning as she did every day by thanking God for all His blessings, including good friends and an aunt she loved dearly. Though her personal life right now was fraught with challenges, she had no doubt that God would walk this path with her.
Still, didn’t everyone say that God helped those who helped themselves? She was going to go with that. And for her, organization was critical to figuring out what to do about her marriage.
Hope’s spirits lifted. Nothing cleared her mind like making a list.
After meeting with the representative of JPK Wealth Management to discuss the sculpture for the lobby of the company’s new office in Boise, John returned to Harmony. On his way home he stopped by the church to speak with Pastor Dan. Other than impressions John had gleaned from listening to his sermons, he didn’t know the young minister. But after an hour of one-to-one, John left feeling not only at peace, but as if he’d found a new friend.
He wanted to make a go of his marriage to Hope, but at the same time, he didn’t want to be selfish and tie her to him because of some technicality. When he’d said the same to Dan, the pastor had smiled and said something about God working in mysterious ways.
Because there was no one John trusted more than the Lord, he decided for now to simply have faith that his being married to Hope was part of some larger master plan. Because of the vows he’d made, he would give this marriage his all and try to convince Hope to do the same.
After all, as Verna had said, what did they have to lose?
Feeling more cheerful, John returned home to finish unpacking.
After praying for the strength and wisdom to do what was right, Hope sat at her desk and began to compile a list. Asking the Lord to help her do what was right felt a bit odd. Did she really believe God was going to say, “Hope, I want you to walk away from your marriage, from those vows you made, without even attempting to make it work”?
Still, when she thought about her parents and those fights over money . . . When she thought how John hadn’t even been able to scrounge up enough money to pay the guy who’d married them . . . When she thought about how he’d left town before the ink was dry on his diploma and without even saying good-bye . . .
Why should she try? How could she trust him? Why should she willingly put her heart on the line knowing it could be easily shattered? Wouldn’t it make sense to simply walk away before either of them got hurt?
Sleeping with him had been a huge mistake. Not only because it had made getting an annulment impossible, but because it dredged up all those old feelings. The truth was, whenever he touched her, emotions and desires made rational thought nearly impossible.
If they did decide to try to make their marriage work, they would need to establish some rules and guidelines for their interactions. She had to protect her heart.
Forty minutes later, Hope put down her pen and glanced at the list that now spilled from one page onto the next. If she had more time, she’d key it in, organize, and color-code the various requirements.
But first she had a group of seniors to take through the barn. They were planning a large fund-raising dance in the spring to raise money for an airlift of Idaho Korean War vets to Washington, DC, next summer.
Hope had just finished showing six chattering women and one long-suffering man through the barn. She was waving good-bye when John rode up on his Harley. Drat. Speaking with him about their marriage had been at the top of her list. But seeing him dressed in all black and looking so sexy drove all the items she’d so carefully composed from her brain.
Instead of rabbiting for the house as was her inclination, Hope waited by the driveway while John pulled to a stop and removed his helmet. “You were out and about early.”
His lazy grin did strange things to her insides. “I had some business in Boise. What about you?”
“I just booked the barn for a Spring Fling fund-raiser,” she said, then, remembering the list, added, “and did some thinking.”
He studied her. “That sounds serious.”
“It was,” she said before amending, “it is.”
“It’s much too nice a day to be serious.” He gestured to the sunny sky. “Take a ride with me.”
“I don’t have a helmet.”
“I have an extra one.”
“I really should stick around here.” She made a vague gesture with one hand.
“Do you have an appointment?”