“Thank you.” I pause, wanting to say the thing that has been lurking in the back of my mind all night. “Was she disappointed in me, do you think? Because I disappeared? Because I wasn’t here for her when she needed me?” There is a little lump in my throat, but I’m determined not to cry.
“Oh, honey. Not in the least. You have to remember that with her career she had to be prepared to make connections that had time limits. Every year a new group of students, new faces in the teachers’ lounge. She loved you, and always said how special you were to her, but she knew that in the times you weren’t in touch, it wasn’t because you didn’t love her.”
I lose hold of the tears in my eyes. Glenn reaches out and squeezes my hand. “I meant what I said. She didn’t want people to know, when she got sick; she didn’t want the attention. Trust me, if I had thought for one minute that having you around would have made things better, I would have been in touch myself.”
“That makes me feel better.” And again I realize how unfair it is of me to make this about myself and my own guilt. “How are you doing, really?”
“I’m okay. Good days and bad days. I joined a group down at the church, so that has been helpful. My buddies are good about making sure I have stuff to do, places to go. I’m thinking about doing some volunteering. The days can get a little long.”
“My mom did that too. She does a great after-school program down at the Y a couple afternoons a week. She reads with kids, does arts and crafts, helps the older ones with homework. Parents who work can have a safe place for their kids to be between the end of school and the end of their workday, and parents who don’t can have a little break to run errands or get in a workout.”
“That sounds like a great thing—do you think she would talk to me about it?”
“Absolutely. They always need more people, especially since it runs five days a week. I’ll have her give you a call.”
“Thank you. And I think I will take you up on that kitchen organization. I can never find the thing I need when I need it. Suppose I’m going to have to navigate those things a bit more proactively.”
“How does Saturday look?”
“Wide open.”
“I’ll bring lunch.”
“With brownies?”
“Absolutely.”
? ? ?
When Simca and I get back from our walk, I make a small pot of tea and settle in on the couch with my laptop. Simca hauls herself up next to me, snuggling her warm weight against my hip. I rub her head with my left hand while scrolling through e-mail with the other.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]; [email protected]
Subject: Getting it done!
Ladies,
Find attached a photo of my nametag from my first volunteering effort. I spent the afternoon at the local senior center giving manicures to the ladies. It was a HOOT. Those old broads have some stories to tell, and apparently, the nookie opportunities are rampant over there. Let’s just say I used up a whole bottle of Jungle Red.
How is everyone else doing with their projects?
Also, I’m getting us tickets to the special showing of The Breakfast Club at Webster Place for the 24th, so save the date for movie night!
T
Lynne has already replied.
Nice job! I had a meeting with my new Realtors over at Coldwell Banker. We are going to start looking at properties this weekend. I’m for the movie for sure. El? What do you have for us?
LL
I hit reply all.
Well, I have officially told my client Lawrence that I am available for fix-ups, so he promises that I will have horrible dating stories to regale you with very soon. And I’m going to tour Midtown Athletic after work tomorrow to see if maybe they have some options for me.
In other news, I had dinner tonight with Glenn O’Connor and he requested that we set a date for you guys to come with me, so let’s look at calendars and find a night to go keep him company.
Count me in on the movie.
XOE
Then I shoot a quick e-mail to Marcy.
To: [email protected]
Subject: Halloween
Well, we have the theme . . . classic Chicago, whatever that means to us. And Lawrence has requested we be pretty girls, any ideas? The good news is he wants me to do street food, so let’s be sure whatever pretty girls we are going to be don’t require Spanx!
XOE
I start looking through my recipe files in search of some of my street food recipes, when my e-mail pings with Marcy’s reply.
Easy. You be Daryl Hannah in Splash and I will be Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. Chicago girls, and their most famous classic roles. We can dress up like them in the two famous fancy restaurant scenes, which puts you in a flowy floral dress and me in cuffs and a dickey, neither of which requires Spanx, and both of us have to carry plastic lobsters. Done.
M
I love that little pixie. Now I just have to get a wig.
And a flowy dress.
Six
I love Wednesdays. Wednesdays are blissfully quiet. The older kids are at school all day and they all have after-school programming. Geneva and Shelby have their weekly group. The four moms and their kids all met in a Mommy and Me class, and now they take every Wednesday afternoon for group playdates. They go to museums or to the zoo or to a pottery-painting place, something active and interesting. The house is peaceful, and all I have to do is cook. Since tomorrow I will only be here to coach Ian, I have to get them set for dinner tonight and tomorrow, as well as lunches and snacks to get them to Friday dinner.
I set up my insane mise en place, all my prep work, as soon as I arrived this morning. I have a lot to do, but if I stay focused, I should get it all done and cleaned up and still be out by four when everyone starts getting home. For tonight, I’ve got a bacon-wrapped pork loin roast, which I will sear crispy, and then leave for them in a slow oven, so that it is hot but not overcooked when it is time for them to sit down to dinner. Sweet potato, pear, and parsnip gratin is the perfect foil for the pork, and a crunchy, simple salad of sliced celery, fennel, green apple, and shaved Parmesan, dressed in lemon juice and olive oil, will keep things from getting too heavy. I’m making lemon cream squares for dessert, a special thing for Darcy. I know she had a math test today that she was really anxious about. They are her favorite. I figure it will either be a reward or a comfort, and will let her know I was thinking of her.