It was Jane. It was her bedroom.
But he hadn’t stopped. Goddamn him, he’d kept holding her. He’d kept fucking her. He wanted to claim her, needed to have her. Completely. Fully. Needed to know that she meant it when she said she would go with him as far as he wanted to go.
Then he’d looked at her—really seen her. More than that, he’d really seen himself. His hand on her throat. The brutality with which he was taking her.
He’d thrown himself off her, then scrambled back, horrified, leaving her to sag to the floor, limp and coughing.
She’d told him it was okay. She’d told him that she was fine.
But he knew better.
It wasn’t okay.
And so long as she was with a guy as fucked up as he was, she wouldn’t ever be fine.
Once again, he closed his eyes, then shivered as he realized the water in the shower had gone cold.
With a curse, he turned off the water, then pushed open the door and reached for a towel. He was wrapping it around his hips when Archie’s voice crackled over the intercom.
“Liam is here. He’s waiting for you in the ops center.”
“Thanks.” His voice was hoarse, and he realized he’d been crying.
Well, why wouldn’t he have been? First he’d lost himself. Then he’d lost Jane.
God only knew what he’d lose next.
Dallas paused outside the door to the op center, breathing deep, trying to erase any last hint of Jane from his face. It wouldn’t work, of course. Jane was part of him and always would be, even if he knew damn well that walking away from her was for the best.
It was—he was certain of it. But right now he wasn’t in the mood to justify his decision to Liam. They needed to focus on Deliverance. On Colin.
And he didn’t need his best friend to tell him what he already knew—that Dallas and Jane were meant to be together, and it was only his own goddamn inability to get his shit together that was keeping them apart.
Maybe if he found the Woman. Maybe if he could fucking erase her then he could erase his fears and needs, too.
Or maybe he’d sprout wings and fly over the Statue of Liberty. Because that seemed about as likely.
Forcing himself to focus, he took a deep breath, punched in the code to unlock the door, and strode into the ops center.
Liam looked up, waving from where he stood in front of one of the computer screens talking to Noah and Quince, whose faces peered out from the monitors.
“So that’s the plan, then,” Quince said. “I’ve got a briefing in the prime minister’s office in an hour, but Noah and I will get going on our end.” His eyes cut to Dallas. “Good to see you, mate. Liam can get you up to speed.”
“Sounds good,” Dallas agreed, as Noah said his goodbyes, too, and the monitors winked to black.
“So what’s the plan?”
“We’re going to send Colin anonymous texts from a burner phone. Vague, but suggesting we know his secret. With luck, it’ll spur him to action.”
Dallas nodded, considering. “Ballsy. But dangerous, too.”
“True. But we need to make a play. After seventeen years, he’s not doing anything that’s going to spontaneously lead us back to the kidnapping.”
“I’ve been thinking along the same lines, actually. Thought I’d mention my conversation with Bill when I’m at Colin’s for dinner. Let him know that WORR and a few agencies are investigating the Sykes kidnapping.”
Liam nodded. “I like it.”
“Assuming he’s really our guy, either the texts or Bill’s investigation could spur him into making a move. But we’re also running a risk that he’ll destroy any remaining evidence. We need more eyes on him.”
“Already on it,” Liam said. “He makes a move, we follow. Noah’s going to pull Tony in for additional surveillance.”
Dallas considered the ramifications, then nodded. “It’s solid. Risky, but it may pan out.”
“I damn sure hope so. And we’ll also have the intel from the bugs you’re going to plant, so let’s talk about how that’s going to go down.”
“Should be easy enough. The point of the dinner is to show off the remodel of the house Colin bought in Brooklyn Heights.”
“So you can wander freely and praise the woodwork and casually mention Bill’s investigation.”
“That’s my plan,” Dallas said. “I just wish Jane wasn’t going to be there.”
Liam frowned. “Why is she?”
“Adele invited her. Apparently Colin invited Adele. So it’s going to be one big happy family, and I’ll have to plant the bugs without Colin or either of the women noticing.”
“Easy enough for a crack spy like you.”
Dallas rolled his eyes, and Liam sank down into one of the rolling desk chairs, then pushed backward a bit before kicking his feet out and studying Dallas. “So what’s the real reason you don’t want Jane there? Because it’s Colin? Or because you still haven’t told her everything she wants to know about Deliverance?”