Hotbloods 6: Allies

“What?” I gasped.

“You saw what happened to those poor bastards at Queen Brisha’s alchemy lab, when they put that test elixir into their veins,” he murmured. “I never saw anything quite like that, but I did witness the endless suffering of the test subjects that were brought in. My father, and the other alchemists, kept them locked away in cells beneath the lab. He would send me down there to fetch them, and then… when the trial didn’t work out, or a nasty side effect took hold… it was up to me to put them out of their misery.”

“Oh, Navan…”

“I remember that first kill as if it were yesterday. I used to dream about it every night, though the nightmares have faded in recent years,” he went on. “He was a coldblood criminal who had been imprisoned for infidelity. He hadn’t robbed anyone, killed anyone, or harmed anyone physically. And yet, he’d been thrown in prison for what he’d done. I remember him crying out to me as I approached him. He thought I was going to help him.

“I remember hearing those cries and looking into that man’s eyes… and panicking. I didn’t want to kill him, but if I didn’t, I knew I would bring my father’s wrath down on my head. Worse than that, I knew I might end up facing a similar fate—Jareth had threatened as much. I realize now that it was a lie—he didn’t have that kind of power—but back then I believed every word he said. I was more afraid of him than anyone else, and I couldn’t even fathom the idea of him lying to me. Barely thinking of the consequences, I took the knife from my belt and plunged it into the man’s chest, just as my father had told me to. I’ll never forget the shocked look on his face as he fell.”

“Oh my God…”

“In that final year at the lab, I killed more people than I can count—people from all across the universe. I killed them because I had to, and with every single death, it got easier,” he murmured. “The action got easier, anyway, but the pain never went away. Then, one day, I couldn’t do it anymore. I lifted the knife to kill a Carokian and I froze. He lunged for me, snapping me out of it, but after that kill I told my father I couldn’t kill anyone else… I wouldn’t kill anyone else. He called me a coward and sent me to Lazar, and I never set foot in the alchemy lab again. It was my uncle who taught me how to compartmentalize everything, and lock pain and guilt away, deep inside, where it can’t get out. He was the one who told me that the faces of the dead never go away, but they fade over time.”

“I don’t understand. How come you went to the pits, then, when Naya died?”

He shrugged. “I was numb, and I wanted to feel something again. I wanted to remember all those I’d hurt. I wanted to be punished for everything I’d done, and everything I hadn’t done… to protect her. I wanted to pay some kind of price for following Jareth’s lead in murdering those innocents, now that he’d done the same to my sister. I knew that the only way to do that was to bring back the ghosts of everyone I’d killed. I wanted to feel that pain again and drown myself in it—it was the only way I knew how to deal with my grief.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?” I asked, concerned. “Do you want me to forgive you? I do forgive you. You were young and vulnerable; you didn’t know what you were doing. I’ve seen Vysanthean brainwashing firsthand. I know you were only following Jareth’s orders.”

“But I shouldn’t have done any of that. It’s something I’ve always been deeply ashamed of—a year of my life that I wish I could erase from my memory,” he said. “I’ve done a pretty good job of keeping it hidden, but I didn’t want to hide it from you anymore.”

“Why?”

He sighed, a sad smile playing on his lips. “I don’t want there to be any secrets between us.”

“I don’t have any secrets.”

“No… No, I suppose you don’t,” he murmured. “I just wanted to tell you mine.”

He moved forward and sat beside me on the bed, pulling me into his embrace. Nestling close to his chest, I could hear his heart beating faster. It worried me. There was something in his voice that turned my stomach in knots, a tremor of doubt bristling through my body. I wanted to press him further, desperate to ask why it felt like he was still hiding something from me. But, as he tilted my chin up and kissed me deeply, I realized I didn’t want to ruin the moment.

Besides, I was probably just being paranoid.





Chapter Twenty-Seven





On the morning of our fourth day of travel, I found myself standing in the kitchen with Navan, eating a plate of buttered toast while he sipped on a bowl of blood, when Bashrik’s voice crackled through the loudspeakers.

“We’re about to enter Vysanthe’s solar system,” he called. It was a day later than planned, but we were finally nearing the planet of my nightmares.

Putting down our food, we hurried through to the cockpit, where Ronad and Bashrik were manning the controls. The two of them seemed to be in deep discussion, hardly noticing that we’d entered behind them.

“This was really your idea?” Ronad asked, his voice tense. “There might be extra scout ships out and about, or heightened measures in place to stop ships from getting by unnoticed.”

Bashrik shook his head. “I know we need to be wary of the risks involved, Ronad, believe me I do, but if we don’t find out as much as we can, then we’re wasting an opportunity.”

“What are you guys chatting about?” I interjected. Both of them whirled around to face me.

“Whether we’re about to do something really stupid,” Ronad replied, flashing a nervous smile in our direction.

Navan frowned. “You mean by coming back here?”

Bashrik nodded, running an anxious hand through his hair. “It seemed like a good idea when I suggested it to Riley, and I still think it’s a good idea, but we are taking a bit of a risk.”

“It’s something we have to do, though, right?” I said firmly. “Bash is right—we need to find out as much as we can, to get an upper hand on the rebels. If we know what’s happening on Vysanthe and we can work out what the queens’ next move might be, then we’ll be one tiny step ahead.”

“You think it’s worth the risk?” Ronad wondered.

“To find out if it’s going to be three armies against us and our allies, or just one? Absolutely!” I grinned at him, though I didn’t feel quite so brave inside. The thought of three armies charging at Earth was more than I could bear, especially when one rebel army with a notebook that could give them everlasting life was more than enough to be worrying about.

“We can give the planet a wide berth and still pick up local transmissions,” Navan assured us. “We shouldn’t have to get very close at all if we can pick up the right airwaves, which I’m hoping will be the same as they were when we left this place.”

I thought of the coded connection to Brisha’s underground control room and wondered if that was what he meant. Perhaps there was another one he knew to access Gianne’s news source, considering his father had worked for her for so long. Either that, or they had a way of tapping in to the local channels of their hometown, given that they’d spent their entire lives there. Just a glimpse into the past month was all we needed to gauge the current state of North and South Vysanthe, though I was more than happy to stay as far away from the coldblood planet as possible.

“Do you think the news channels will still be transmitting?” I asked, knowing media blackouts were a very real possibility in wartime.