“Look, I understand this is all new to you and you’re not sure about us. I get that. It hasn’t been that long ago I was in your shoes. Not knowing who you should trust or if you should run. If you’ll just give us a chance, you’ll have a family who will always be there for you. Shine wants you as his. You probably don’t understand that right now, but you will. Just understand that when he says forever, he means it. Don’t hurt him. If you can’t give him your all, then tell him that up front. Don’t string him along. He looks like a big ass, but you could easily hurt him. Try not to. He’s my best friend.” He doesn’t wait for a response. He turns and leaves me alone.
Shine was serious about me being his. I don’t know how I feel about that. I would never purposely hurt anyone, ever. I’ve never been in a relationship, but the more I think about it, the more I like the idea. I want to get to know him better. He is very sexy, and well, I’m just me. I don’t know how he could want me, but it is like I am drawn to him. I can do this.
I have wanted a big family and now I have my chance. I want to belong. I have made my mind up. As far as Shine is concerned, I will let nature take its course. If it is meant to be it will happen. One of Grammy’s rules in life, if it is meant to be it will happen. No time like the present.
I pick the tray up and make my way downstairs. The house is quiet. I decide to go down the back way, figuring that has to go to the kitchen and I am right. I clean off the tray and rinse the dishes out and put them in the dishwasher. I clean the sink out of dishes, too. Then I start the dishwasher. I put the tray on the end of the cabinet out of the way. I see a door to the right and open it and that is the wash room, so I close it back. I go to the next door and it swings in to see a dining room. Very nice.
I go back and find the door into the hall which leads me to the family room. There I see Lil going through boxes of decorations and the hugest Christmas tree I have ever seen is in the corner. How did they get that monster into this room? I haven’t had a Christmas tree since I was eight years old and Grammy explained there was no Santa Claus and we could afford no Christmas presents, but we could celebrate the true meaning of Christmas our way. So that year and every year after we spent helping to feed homeless people and attending a church service. We received our meal for helping, so that helped Grammy out. It brought her happiness, and me, too. When Lil sees me gawking at the tree she smiles.
“They out did themselves this year. Con found this one and another one even bigger out in the woods behind the house. Do you like it?” She is such a kind lady.
“It is beautiful.” She’s got boxes on top of boxes to go through.
“Did you have a fake tree or real growing up? We can get one of those too, if you like them better. This house is big enough for two trees.” Lil is waiting for my answer but I don’t want to sound pathetic.
“The only trees I remember were real.” I try not to give too much away.
“You don’t have a tree every year? Oh, you’re not against Christmas are you? I mean the whole tree and present thing? I don’t ever think of things like that. Some religions don’t do things the way we do.” Lil is trying to be sensitive.
“No, it’s not that. I haven’t had a tree since I was eight. We couldn’t afford the whole gifts and things so we helped others out like us. I think it is a good way to celebrate. Plus, we went to a service. We had everything we needed.” I want her to know I was ok with it and now I like to carry on the tradition. “Now I like it that way.”
“I’m sure we can find a way for you to keep doing that around here. We have a huge dinner at the clubhouse, but we will find you a service and I know there is a place we can all help at together.” I see that she understands and that makes me feel better. “Tomorrow we are going to trim this monstrosity and then go to the clubhouse and trim that one so I hope you are up to it by then.”
“I will try to help, but I know nothing about it.” Lil is so warm and easy to be around.
“Nothing to it, sweetie. The guys will put on the lights and garland, and then we put on the bulbs and other decorations. We also have the house, yard, and clubhouse to decorate.” That’s a lot of decorating. “Then we have candy and cookies to make and gifts to buy and wrap. Three days before Christmas I’ll start on the club dinner. We have a meal with the club on Christmas eve, and then Christmas day I fix something totally different and smaller for home and anyone who doesn’t go to their family for the day.” It sounds wonderful. I’m nervous about the club, though.
“I’m a little nervous about going to the club. I know nothing about motorcycle clubs.” I know I can be honest with Lil.