I pushed the door open and limped my way towards him. My wounded heart protested, but it wasn’t the time to be selfish. I loved Jordan, and I hated seeing him in such pain. A friend, a lover, had died, and he needed soothing.
He was slumped over in the chair, breathing deeply into his palms. I placed my hand on his shoulder. When he didn’t react, I tried wiggling my way onto his lap, dropping my crutches to the floor. It was difficult with his elbows on his knees blocking my way, but I managed to wrap my arms around his neck.
He slowly slid his arms around my middle, helping me perch on his thigh. Pulling me close, he buried his head into my neck.
I murmured softly into his ear, hoping he understood that his friend Layla’s death was not his fault. I admit that I didn’t know all of the details or the circumstances, but I knew Jordan. He would never intentionally harm anyone.
“I’m so sorry, Jordan,” I whispered. “It’ll be okay. It’s not your fault.”
Jordan lifted his head and looked at me as if he hadn’t even known I was there. I gave him a small smile, as I caressed his cheek with my fingers. His stubble was like sandpaper. I loved the contrast of rough and smooth, as my fingers trailed down his neck.
“Sam, what are you doing here?”
“I heard what you said about your friend. I’m so sorry, Jordan, for your loss.”
He jerked back, clearly surprised. “You heard about Layla?”
I focused on his chest, smoothing out the wrinkles on his shirt. I felt guilty about eavesdropping, but at least now I knew the truth. Jordan had been in love with the woman, and he was mourning her death.
Jealousy wanted to rear its ugly head, but I wasn’t angry. I never wanted to see him hurting, and I didn’t want to jeopardize the fragile relationship we were starting to build.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say that. Why would you be sorry?”
“Because, your friend died. It’s evident that you cared about her very much, and I’m sorry for what happen to her.”
I continued to smooth my hand over his chest, not really thinking about what I was doing, until I brushed across his nipple. The nub hardened under my palm. I sucked in a breath, as something much more firm pushed against my hip.
“I did care for Layla, but…”
Curiosity had me looking up into his deep ocean blue eyes when he paused.
“Didn’t you hear what I said happened?” He asked.
“Yes.”
“I was… intimate with her.”
I looked away, not wanting him to see how much those words really hurt.
“Aren’t you mad?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m not angry. How can I? We weren’t together anymore, and I can’t fault you for being with someone you love.” I rested my forehead on his shoulder and sighed.
“I am so sorry, Jordan. I don’t know how you’re keeping it together. If something happened to you or Alex, I’m not sure I would be able to handle it as well as you are.”
Rubbing my head against his shoulder, I snuggled into his warmth, wrapping my arm around his back. I wanted him to know that I loved him no matter what. I would always be there for him. He didn’t have to grieve alone.
Jordan’s grip was gentle as he lifted my chin. Reluctantly, I looked up at him. Love shined brightly in his eyes, causing me to catch my breath.
“I did not love Layla. She was a friend, yes, but nothing more.”
“But, you slept together.”
“Yes.”
Oh, I got it, friends with benefits. I guessed it was something like what Alex, Jordan and I use to have. I wondered how long they had been seeing each other. For all I knew, he left my bed to go to her and vice versa.
Jordan shook his head, as if he knew what I was thinking. “We were all friends growing up, Alex, Layla and I. We had… fun together. That’s all, and no, I never saw her or anyone else for that matter, while I was with you.”
I breathed a small sigh of relief. “Well then, I’m still sorry for the loss of your friend.”
“Thank you,” he breathed.
“It wasn’t your fault, you know?”
“What?”
Jordan’s body stiffened, and I rubbed his arm, trying to offer comfort.
“You have to know Layla’s death was not your fault. I heard you say she died in your arms, that someone shot her.”
I kissed him lightly and his tongue slid across my bottom lip. Breathless, I pulled back.
“There was nothing you could have done, Jordan. I know you, and I know you want to carry this on your shoulders, but you can’t.”
Jordan leaned in, capturing my lips hungrily. My lips parted, our tongues entwined, and I moaned, shifting restlessly in his lap. His cock hardened even more, pressing against my hip as I wiggled.
His teeth pulled at my bottom lip, then released it with a pop. He kissed me softly once more, then looked up into my glazed eyes.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you.”
“There is so much more you don’t know, though.”
“What do you mean? You already told me about being a shifter. What else could there possibly be?”
“So much more, Sam,” he said regretfully.
I cupped his cheek in the palm of my hand and said, “Then tell me.”
21
Jordan