Happiness. Such an elusive thing.
Jim knew how to make his bear happy, and how to make his cock happy. He knew how to complete a business deal in a way that made his bank account happy, but he wasn’t sure if he knew how to simply be happy. “You know this ride I’m going on with Damon on Friday?”
“Your yearly special thingy? It’s not always a ride, is it?”
“Not at all. Every year it’s a bet, though. A chance to win the beautiful coin we purchased together back when we were young.”
Her eyes lit up. “That sounds fun. I’m glad you’ve got something to look forward to.” She sat at attention, turning to face him and stroking his shoulders. “Traditions can be really exciting.”
Between one heartbeat and the next, all the light faded from her hazel-green eyes, leaving them listless and sad. He was about to demand what the hell had happened when she perked up, her usual enthusiastic self back and demanding he finish his earlier comment.
“What about your ride?”
He trailed his fingers over hers, needing the contact. “The coin isn’t worth much, not really. But it’s like a lucky talisman, and whoever wins the race gets to keep her for the coming year.”
Lillie nodded even as concern flooded her expression. “You know there’s not truly anything like a lucky coin, or a magic spell, or anything like that that can swoop in and change your life.”
He laughed. “Damon and you could have rehearsed this. Yes, I know luck is hard work and good timing. And it’s not that I’m looking for luck, not really.”
Or was he?
“Maybe I just need a chance to turn the corner. One moment in time when I say now things will be different.”
“Is your life so terrible now?” she asked, her hands flying up to cover her mouth briefly. “I’m sorry, that’s awfully forward of me. And I’m not trying to snoop, but it seems to me the past few days we’ve had a good time, and you’re a great guy. Why do things need to turn a corner?”
Stroking her skin did more for his nerves than a full-body massage or a gallon of whiskey. It was as if she poured in comfort through osmosis.
“It’s been a rough year. I lost my parents last May.”
She made a low noise, her hands brushing his briefly. “I’m so sorry. An accident?”
“Cave-in. They were at an archeological site in northern Russia. Not their job—just their passion. An ancient shifter site, so very low profile in terms of development and news. I was there that week visiting.”
Too many memories to hold back. He pushed past them and allowed the words to escape.
“Dad had taken me into the cave to show me around when a tremor struck. We could see daylight ahead of us, the opening was that close. He pushed me ahead of him, and in the midst of the chaos I simply ran. I thought he was right on my tail. Only when I glanced back, he’d turned. Headed back to get my mom—I didn’t know she was working farther down the dig.”
If he couldn’t have seen Lillie’s face it would have made it easier to keep going. But she was right there, tears gathering in her eyes.
Made it damn hard to stop his heartache from rising.
“Neither of them made it out?” she whispered.
He shook his head. “I got trapped for three days myself. When we finally excavated far enough to find their bodies, they were gone. They had their arms wrapped around each other as if they’d refused to let go, even in death.”
She was weeping, tears pouring silently down her cheeks as she crawled right into his lap and offered him comfort.
He sat there, holding her. Thought about all of his accomplishments over the years. The tricks he’d gotten up to, and the mischief and fooling around and…
Some of what he’d spent time on seemed senseless, but like Lillie had pointed out with her parents, he’d chosen to do the things he did. And that made his life right in one way.
Made him empty as well.
“If I ever find the kind of love that my parents had? I wouldn’t need Lady Luck. Because they had something more precious, more valuable and far, far more rare than any lucky coin.”
11
She woke earlier than him, the same as she had all the other mornings. But this time, instead of crawling away as quietly as she could, she stayed put. Staring at his face and wondering how on earth she could survive.
She’d fallen in love.
That wasn’t supposed to happen. In all the rules of having a final fling, it was supposed to be about having a good time and lots of sex. Period.
She couldn’t even do a simple fling right.
Jim rolled to his side, his arms curling around her possessively. Their limbs were tangled together, one of his big thighs pushed between hers. She wasn’t sure if he was trying to stop her from running away, but even the amusement of thinking that faded as she realized this was the last morning she’d be able to consider sneaking out of his bed.