Holy shit. My desire has been ignited by his touch, and by the look on his face, so has his. I mumble “Sorry” and move quickly away.
When I set the cups down, a little coffee sloshes over the edge of the one I hand Matt. He grins at me and says, “You affect me the same way.”
I offer him a smile, but my dinner is heavy in my stomach, because Keith is the one making me flustered, and he's not mine to have. I fall to my chair and let the hard wood slam against my bottom. Fuck me.
My angst is interrupted by Keith handing me a small pitcher. He asks, “Cream?”
I glance up at him and read the same emotion in his eyes. “Yes, thank you.” Only I'm answering more than he asked.
43
Chapter 13
Sierra
I shouldn't be surprised, but I can't help feeling hurt by Keith's reaction to Taylor. I sigh as the Jeep window chills my cheek.
Keith reaches for my hand, “You okay, sweetie?”
I pull my hand away. “Not really.”
Things with Keith and me are beyond strained. He's doing his best to be patient, but I'm testing it by being a raging bitch. Victor wakes me up at odd hours to talk, and the lack of sleep makes it so I can't focus on my job. It's also next to impossible for me to concentrate on a conversation with someone else when Victor is describing the sexual things he wants to do to me, and I've had to stop answering the phone at work. I imagine this must be what schizophrenia is like.
The worst part is that now Victor turns me on with his words, and I can't be with Keith without picturing Victor. Keith and I haven't slept together in weeks, and I finally moved to the guest bedroom so I wouldn't wake him at night.
“Want to talk about it?” He pulls into the driveway, and gears clunk into park. Keith turns to me.
The tender tone in his voice pushes me over the edge. My tears flow, and I fall apart. “I don't know how much longer I can do this. I feel like I'm going insane, and you shouldn't have to deal with it.” I sniff and continue. “I saw how Taylor affected you tonight. You deserve to be with someone who isn't losing her fucking mind.”
Silence takes over as Keith cuts the engine. “Damn it, Sierra. Yes, there is an attraction between Taylor and me. You know this happens, but it can be controlled. She belongs to Matt.” He pulls me against his chest and whispers, “And I belong to you. I'm not giving up on us.”
I snuggle into soft flannel and let it soak up the moisture from my face. The comforting warmth of Keith soothes me, and for a moment I believe it will all be okay.
“Good evening, precious, I hope you're ready for me. My cock is hard and waiting for your touch. How should we do it tonight? Should I eat you out first?”
My core twinges as I imagine a tongue sliding along my slit. Fuck me! I'm getting hot for Victor while Keith is holding me.
Victor's laugh echoes through my head before he begins to describe thrusting into me. I push away from Keith. “He's in my head again. Let's just go inside.”
I haven't told Keith what Victor says, but he has an active imagination, and I wish I could tell him it's not worse than he fears. I grab my phone and ear buds from my purse. Cranking up Pink, I do my best to block out Victor's version of phone sex.
I wander around the house tying to hear the music only. Keith is used to this and leaves me alone, knowing I'll come talk to him when Victor is done. When I'm sure the voice has stopped, I turn off my music and plod slowly up the stairs.
I'm mentally worn out and don't even want to think, but the look on Keith's face when he stared at Taylor is burned into my memory, haunting me. Even so, when I hear the bath running, I can't help but smile at the sweet gesture. The scent of lavender bath salts floats through though the hall, and I enter the bathroom. Keith is sitting on a small bench, thumbing through a magazine.
I ask, “Hey, have I told you lately how amazing you are?”
Keith smiles as he stands. “I thought you might need this.”
“I do. Thank you.” I walk to him and wrap my arms around his waist as I lay my head against his chest. My eyes burn with tears as my heart tells me what I have to do.
Water almost too hot to touch stings my skin when I first get in, but moments after I immerse myself up to my chin, I begin to relax. Closing my eyes, I drift off and remember the excitement of the car trip with Carly to come to Maine. I replay the first time I met Keith and the hours we spent telling each other our stories, hopes, and dreams.
Catori's words come back to me. She said I am a nurturer, and I’m destined to take care of those I love. And that's what I need to do.