Hook, Line and Blinker (Miss Fortune Mystery #10)

“You’re the producer of this show,” Big said. “How would you like to proceed?”

He didn’t have to ask me twice. I already knew what I was doing, and a hundred bucks said Gertie and Ida Belle were right there with me.

“I think that if you’re willing to host these two for a bit longer, a trip to Metairie cemetery is in order. This ten-year-old mystery ends now.”





Chapter Twenty-One





I awakened far earlier than I should have, especially given that I hadn’t gone to bed until almost 4:00 a.m. By the time I finished questioning the Seal brothers and making plans with Big for our journey to Metairie cemetery, hours had passed. Fortunately, we’d gotten back into the house without incident and it didn’t appear that Carter was aware we’d ever been gone.

I took a quick shower and headed downstairs for much-needed coffee. Despite the fact that it was only 8:00 a.m., Gertie and Ida Belle were both sitting in the kitchen, looking the way I felt. Given the amount of ground we had to cover, literally, it wasn’t a good sign. I lifted a hand and headed for the coffeepot, then plopped into my chair with a full mug.

“So,” I said after I’d had my first few sips. “Who’s looking forward to walking miles through a cemetery?”

Gertie grimaced. “My knees just cringed. Both of them.”

“Well, you better load up on Ace bandages and Aleve,” Ida Belle said. “Either that or consider sitting this one out.”

“No way!” Gertie said.

“I didn’t figure,” Ida Belle said. “You know there could be shooting, right? The Seal brothers said someone took shots at them.”

“Which is why we’re going in daylight,” Gertie said. “And with backup. Ohhhhhh, maybe we should go in disguise.”

“What kind of disguise does one wear to the cemetery?” I asked.

“Nuns would be good,” Gertie said. “You can carry all kinds of weapons under those robes.”

“Absolutely not,” Ida Belle said. “Remember what happened the last time you tried to run when you were dressed as a nun?”

“That could have happened to anyone,” Gertie said.

“No costumes,” I said. “Ida Belle’s right. They inhibit running. We need to dress for speed. I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that, but we know better than to assume. So everyone needs to wear their most comfortable and coolest attire and best running shoes.”

“But what about the weapons part?” Gertie asked.

“We have no need to bring an armory,” I said. “We’ve got Mannie.”

“That’s true,” Gertie said. “He’s sorta like having a tank along with you.”

Ida Belle’s phone rang, and she looked down at it and frowned. “It’s Myrtle. She should be in bed asleep.”

Myrtle had worked the four to midnight shift the day before, so if she was calling this early, something was wrong. I watched Ida Belle’s expression shift from puzzled to concerned and prayed that whatever it was didn’t interfere with our scheduled trip. So far, the Heberts had made good on their word not to harm the Seal brothers until we could sort everything out, but if left to their own devices for too long, I worried about the brothers’ outlook.

Ida Belle disconnected the call and put her phone down on the table. “Ralph committed suicide.”

“What?”

“Oh my God!”

Gertie and I spoke at the same time.

“Why? How?” Gertie asked. “Did it happen last night? Is that why Myrtle knows?”

“The temp they have filling in days was sick,” Ida Belle said, “so Myrtle had to cover this morning. Apparently, Lucinda was trying to get a hold of Ralph but he wouldn’t return her calls. She got worried and went over. She has a key.”

“Oh no,” Gertie said. “Lucinda found him?”

Ida Belle nodded. “Gunshot to the temple, sitting in his office chair.”

Gertie shook her head. “Myrtle told me last week that she overheard Ralph on his cell phone talking to someone about an audit. She said he sounded worried. I wonder if that had something to do with it?”

I frowned. “Did Myrtle say how long he’d been dead?”

Ida Belle looked at me. “No. Why?”

I shrugged. “Maybe nothing.”

“With you, it’s never nothing,” Ida Belle said. “Out with it.”

“I don’t have anything concrete,” I said. “It just feels a little strange, the timing of it all. The Seal brothers get out of prison, ask Ralph for money, and then Ralph kills himself? I mean, I’ve met the guy for twenty seconds, so you’d have to tell me if you think this sounds in line with what you know about him.”

Ida Belle frowned and looked at Gertie, whose brow was scrunched in concentration.

“I suppose you don’t ever really know a person,” Ida Belle said, “but if you’d asked me before today if I thought Ralph was the type who’d kill himself, I would have said absolutely not.”

Gertie nodded. “He’s never struck me as unstable. A bore, absolutely, but most people don’t kill themselves because others find them boring. But what about the audit? I’m no accountant, but could something be so wrong that he pulled the trigger?”

“Maybe,” I said. “People have definitely lost their minds over the IRS, but what’s the worst thing that can happen—he goes to jail for doing hinky things on people’s taxes? Shouldn’t he wait for a conviction before he goes the ultimate checkout route?”

“You don’t think the Seal brothers killed him, do you?” Ida Belle asked.

“They’re desperate,” I said, “and not very smart, but I think they’re capable of killing someone, especially if they feel they’re backed into a corner.”

Ida Belle nodded, her expression grim. “Then maybe we should have a visit with Lucinda before we head to the cemetery.”



Ida Belle knocked twice before we heard movement inside Lucinda’s house. The door opened slowly and she peered out at us, her eyes red, her face puffy.

“We heard what happened,” Ida Belle said. “I’m so sorry.”

Lucinda nodded. “Thank you. Do you want to come in? I just made a fresh pot of coffee.”

“Just for a minute,” Ida Belle said. “We don’t want to be in your way.”

Lucinda stepped back and allowed us in, and we followed her back to the kitchen.

“You sit down,” Gertie said. “I’ll get the coffee.”

Lucinda moved to the chair like a zombie and sank down into it. “I appreciate you checking on me. Carter, God bless him, offered to stay with me, but the boy’s got a job to do. He said he was going to send his mama over when she got back from a doctor’s appointment in New Orleans.”

“He’s a good deputy,” Gertie said as she placed the coffee on the table. “And a good man.”

Lucinda nodded. “I guess I’m still in shock. I mean, I know what I saw, but I can’t reconcile it in my head.”

“Of course you can’t,” Ida Belle said. “Anyone who knew Ralph would never expect something like this. He’s just not the type.”

Lucinda nodded. “I think that’s why I’m having such a hard time with it.”