“Hey, Ruby,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady as I answered.
“I’m officially done with men,” she announced. I couldn’t have said it better myself. “Last night I stayed in and watched Game of Thrones, ate ice cream, tried to do some ab exercises and went to bed at midnight. It was the best night I’ve had in a long time. I’m calling a time out on dating.”
Perhaps if she’d made this argument to me last night, I wouldn’t have accepted that invitation for a beer.
“Lana?”
“Hi, yes, sorry. I think that’s a great plan.”
“Are you okay? You sound a bit—”
“You know that actor you were perving at a couple of weeks ago?” I asked her. “The one on the cover of Vanity Fair.”
“Matt Easton?”
“Yeah.”
“Yes. Why—”
“Well, he’s the guy living next door. I didn’t realize at first.” Ruby shrieked, but I ignored her. I needed to get this out. Have her help me assess the fallout. I had to know how bad this was going to be. “He’s the one who kissed me on Monday, and . . . and last night I slept with him.” I laughed a little hysterically. “Or he fucked me is more accurate, but then this morning some guy burst in on us, talking about Matt’s girlfriend and . . .”
My tears over took my words and I rolled onto my side, pulling my legs up, making myself small.
“Hey, breathe, breathe with me,” Ruby chanted down the phone. “In two, three, four. Out two, three, four.”
Unconsciously I started to follow her pattern and, slowly, my tears stopped.
“What have I done, Ruby?”
“Sounds like you had a good time. Was the sex good, at least?” she asked.
“Epic.” My body was still reeling from his touch. “But that’s not the point.”
“So start from the beginning. I can’t tell if you’re freaking out because you had a one-night stand, because he’s famous, or because you got interrupted.”
“B and C, obviously, but also because he has a girlfriend!” I screamed, my panic renewing the more I thought about it. “Oh God, I ran across our front yards in a sheet! What if someone saw me? Or worse, got a picture?”
“You need to calm down or you’re going to have an aneurysm. Were there photographers outside the house? Is that what you’re worried about?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I mean, he’s a Hollywood star, right? Like an A-lister.”
“Yeah, but you’re in Worthington, Maine. Not LA or New York. I can’t imagine the Portland Press Herald camped out overnight in front of your house ready to ask Matt if he’s sampled the lobster roll yet.”
True. I hadn’t seen any photographers. In fact, I hadn’t heard anyone mention Matt being in town at all. There’d been plenty of talk about the movie being made down the coast and people being spotted in Portland, but nothing about my next-door neighbor. “You think no one knows?”
“That you and Matt fucking Easton had sex? Well I know and he knows. And there’s a chance Mrs. Wells knows because she’s psychic. But who else is there?”
“What about the guy who interrupted us this morning?”
“Do you know who it was?”
“I have no idea. He said something about Audrey and an NDA.”
“Yeah, he’s been dating Audrey Tanner for ages. He was a total modelizer and party guy until she came along and tamed him.”
I groaned. “What have I done? This is the storm that Mrs. Wells was talking about.” I let my arm flop over my face.
“This isn’t a storm. This isn’t even a light shower. Did he say anything about her before you slept with him?” she asked.
“I didn’t know who he was. He told me he was an actor, and thinking back on it, his face was familiar but you know what it’s like, we get plenty of tourists coming back every year. I just assumed I’d seen him around town.”
Ruby chuckled. “Only you could come face-to-face with Matt Easton and not know who he was.”
“Ruuuby. This is not helping.” It wasn’t funny. “I slept with someone’s boyfriend.”
“But you didn’t know he was seeing anyone. You can’t be responsible for that.”
But I felt responsible. If I hadn’t fucked an almost-stranger, maybe I would have had a chance to find out his relationship status. “But what happens if she finds out and goes to the tabloids?” I covered my eyes with the palm of my free hand, trying to block out the possibility. “There’d be no escape if that happened. I mean, I just Googled the guy. He’s everywhere.”
“Yeah, he’s Matt Easton. He’s the hottest thing in Hollywood. But you don’t need to escape—you didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t let him take photos, did you?”
I bolted upright. “Of course not. You think I haven’t learned my lesson?”
“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”
The wind from the ocean rattled the windows as Ruby and I sat in silence. That familiar feeling of dread hovered just above my head, ready to rain down on me. I couldn’t go through that again.
I’d made the mistake of trusting a man enough to take photos just once. It had been the most humiliating moment of my life. The experience had torn through my understanding of the world, through my understanding of myself. Up until then, I’d always thought that I was a pretty good judge of character and that people were fundamentally decent. I believed that if you worked hard and tried to be kind, life turned out okay for you.
But I’d learned how unfair life could be. How unjust. How in a second your world as you knew it could be over and everything you’d ever wanted ripped to shreds.
Apparently, it was a lesson the universe felt I needed a refresher on.
“Are you okay?” Ruby asked. “It’s not the same. No one got pictures. No one is going to know.”
“What happens if whoever burst in this morning tells Audrey and she exposes me?”
“Who was this guy? If he felt comfortable enough to interrupt and talk about NDAs, he has to be someone Matt knows—his manager, his dad or something. What did he look like anyway? I’m sure there must be something on the internet.”
The click of Ruby’s fingers on her keyboard soothed me.
“I’m sending through a picture of his agent, check it out.”
I held the phone in the air and swiped to see the image. “No, that’s not him. He had curly hair, gray at his temples.”
Another image appeared. “What about any of those guys?”
It was a photograph of Matt with his arms around two older men. “Yeah, the one on the right. That’s him. Who is it?”
“Oh good, it’s just his publicist.”
“Are you sure? He seemed really angry.”
“Of course he is. Matt and Audrey are the perfect couple, and there’s been loads of rumors about how he’s slept with the whole of Hollywood.”
I chuckled and the black cloud above my head shrank slightly. “Yeah, nothing about last night indicated he lacked experience.”
Ruby sighed. “I’m jealous.”
“So you think it’s going to be okay?” I asked. I needed someone to reassure me.
“I know so.”
Trust me to pick a Hollywood superstar to edge back to normality with.
Ten
Lana