For a moment I feel like I’m staring at a cosplayer’s costume collection. The dresses have dagged sleeves, the kind with the huge cuffs that hang way down, like a stereotypical Disney princess. They’re arranged by color from lightest to darkest, cream at one end and black at the other.
They’re not costumes, though. The material is silk and shimmering samite, and the darker ones are a little sheer despite their princess-y looks. I can’t wear this stupid crap.
There are nightgowns, too, and…bloomers. They’re goddamn bloomers.
It beats being naked, I guess.
I grab something that looks appropriate for sleep and carry it with me on the hanger to the bathroom, where I carefully undress. My ankle is a little swollen, but it’s not broken or anything. I should be fine in a day or two.
Sighing, I turn on the water. It’s blessedly hot, quickly filling the cabinet with steam. I walk inside and lean on the wall under the water.
I quickly sink to the floor. An explosive sob rolls through my body. The reality of what I just went through hits me like a hammer square in the middle of my chest. When I look at the grit on my arms turning to a thin coating of mud as the water washes it loose, I can see the general’s sausagey fingers on my arms. I was so close to…
Don’t go there, Penny. It didn’t happen. It could have but it didn’t.
I don’t even realize I’m crying, it just happens. Oh God, how did I let this happen to myself? Where did they take that other woman? Where did they take Melissa? Why did they send her to a hospital and not me?
I stare at the far wall, ignoring the hot spray stinging my eyes. I watched men die tonight. I kept my eyes closed in the pass, but the sounds. It was like someone ripping a side of beef apart, and when the general died… At least I didn’t have to see it.
I giggle stupidly as a dumb thought bubbles into my head. His severed head looked so weird. It looked so little detached from his body. I close my eyes and try to banish the image of the stump from my mind.
The guy who did that took me home. I’m locked up in his castle.
“This is fucking crazy,” I whine.
I shake harder, curled up in a ball on the shower floor.
No, no, no. Penny, do not let yourself do this. You have to figure a way out of here.
Oh, but I have a great record so far. All I managed to do back at that camp was let Melissa get groped and almost torn apart. If I was so smart and brave, I should have done something before I trusted that asshole to get us back to the camp in one piece.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, Penny. How was I supposed to know he was a corrupt spy planning to sell us?
I should have gotten a job teaching preschool and stayed home where I belong. I’m not supposed to be here. I’m not supposed to be here. I repeat it like a mantra.
My eyes snap open. Oh God, my parents. When I don’t make my weekly phone call they’re going to lose it. I don’t know if Mom’s heart can take it. I have to let them know I’m alive, somehow.
How the hell can I do that?
By the time I finally calm down enough to get up, my fingers start to prune. Maybe the heat helped, but my ankle doesn’t feel so bad. Carefully I walk out of the shower and dry myself then slip into the sheer nightgown and thick, velvety robe.
No, wait. It’s not velvety, it is velvet. Wow, this is nice.
As I walk to the bed, I can’t help myself. I keep thinking this is some sort of fantasy. I’ve retreated into a fantasy world where a dark prince saves me to keep my mind from breaking. Meanwhile my body is back in the real world, with the general.
This just can’t be real.
I grunt on my turned ankle as I lift myself up onto the bed and roll into it. The blankets seem too thick for a summer night, but a cold draft flows through the room and I quickly find myself tucked up to my chin, sinking into the covers.
Oh God this bed, it’s bliss. It’s like it wants to swallow me.
A sudden and intense awareness comes upon me.
I am tired. I feel like I could sleep for a week.
First I can’t lift my head, then I can’t keep my eyes open. I yawn, and that’s the last thing I remember as I drift into a dreamless sleep.
Next I know, bright light pours in through the glass doors leading out to the balcony, and it’s morning. It’s freezing in here now, so much so that I don’t want to even push back the covers and sit up.
I end up lying there until the door opens. No knock, somebody just lifts the bar and swings it out. It’s the same blonde-haired guard from last night, but she stops at the threshold and steps aside for a hunched old woman to walk in before slamming it shut again.
“You get up now. You understand, yes?”
I nod. “I understand you.”
“Good understand. Get up, I help dress. Fix hair.”
“What’s wrong with my hair?”
“Not meet prince with bad hair. Sit in chair. Mirror.”