Rose looks over and sighs.
“Are you guys together again now?”
Rose looks at me.
“Sort of. Quentin is still going to have to leave. He thought if he broke it off suddenly it would be easier on us than dragging it out.”
“I don’t like goodbyes.” My voice chokes just a little.
“How much longer can you stay?”
“Tonight,” I sigh. “Then I have to go.”
“Why? Did you do something bad?”
“The less you know, the better,” Rose says quickly. “We should remember the good parts.”
I nod.
“You have a grill, right?”
Rose looks back at me. “Yeah.”
“Karen, go get your sister. We’re having a cookout.”
“She already ate like fifteen hot dogs…”
“Can she eat more?”
“Probably.”
“Good enough.”
Karen steps out and I sigh. Rose turns to me and I tell her what I’ll need. She thaws some chicken-on-the-bone in the microwave while I go up and pile charcoal in her grill and get it going. It’s not fancy but it’s big, and that’s what we’ll need.
I know we have enough things from the store.I bought them. I talk Rose through making the quick marinade for the chicken while I crush my fingers into ground beef to make the burgers.
“What are you putting in those?”
I rattle off the ingredients to her as I mix them into the bowl with the beef then form them into patties.
The chicken goes on first, as soon as the coals have properly heated. I sit back in a lawn chair and drink a beer Rose gives me. For a while I’m out there alone in her backyard, holding the cold beer in my hand, and I just want to crumple into dust and disappear.
This has been as a dream, and now I must wake up. This mundane heaven was not fashioned for monsters like me. By staying I will only anchor it to hell.
I whistle loudly and Rose comes out carrying the other meats, and we lay them out on the grill together. I tend to the meat while she cooks inside, making up the sides and gravy for the chicken.
Gravy is important. The sauce makes the dish.
It’s too damned hot to eat outside, or I would. Instead Rose sends Karen out to help. There’s too much meat for one tray. It’s a feast.
Usually I stick to a fairly strict diet, but once everyone is seated I chow down, eating a hot dog slathered in mustard and ketchup in one hand while devouring a drumstick in the other. The kids eat like mad; even Karen piles up her plate, leaving a trail of discarded chicken bones in her wake.
I eat some of everything—even the rolls Rose baked. No meal has ever been so full or satisfying in my life. I’m a little surprised when she pours us both glasses of wine.
“Kids, Quentin is going to be staying over tonight,” she announces. “Try to give us a little space.”
The two girls look at each other and grin for different reasons. I should leave now, tonight, just get out. The longer I stay, the deeper Rose will settle inside me, until pulling her away becomes tearing out my heart.
Who am I kidding? That’s happening already.
I pause in the middle of eating my last cheeseburger, as if finishing it is one step closer to the end and by taking the last bite I hasten my departure. After everything I just ate I give up on it and slap it on the plate, sit back in my chair, and let out a deep breath.
“Kids, help me with the leftovers,” Rose says, rising. She gives me a look and sips more wine.
After they pack away the food, the kids get the dishes while Rose walks upstairs. She stops and looks over her shoulder at me, like, what are you waiting for?
If waiting would slow the end, I’d wait forever.
I follow her upstairs and she locks her bedroom door.
“Is this goodbye sex?” I say very softly.
“Yeah. Take off your clothes and lie on the bed.”
I want to growl at her and tell her she’s not going to boss me around, but the tone of her voice has shifted from command to surrender. I slip out of my clothes and spread out on her bed. The room is a weird mirror of mine, though her bed is bigger and in a different place in the room. She undresses slowly, sensually, making the act of removing her sweats the dance of the seven veils.
I’m already hard by the time she comes over.
She throws her leg over me, straddles me, and my cock slides into her hot body, throbbing around me as she bites her lip. Rose makes a little sound, and rolls her hips, taking my one hand in both of hers to hold it between them against her chest and stare at me.
I lightly grasp her neck and pull her down, and she slips her arms around me as I shift a little so she can push her hips back and forth, up and down, and ride me with her cheek leaning on my chest. I melt into the bed and the only motion between us is the roll of our hips in unison.