She stared into his eyes. Her pout slowly disappeared, and she gave a slight nod to indicate her surrender. The look of trust she focused on him broke a piece of his heart, since he knew that she trusted him to get her better. Ultimately, it was out of his control, and it would devastate him if she didn’t pull through. Not only would he feel a profound sense of loss, but he would also feel like he’d betrayed that innocent trust she’d placed in him.
She drank less than half the broth in the bowl, but he was satisfied enough with that. He set it aside and worked on dampening the cloth with cool water again.
“I feel so tired. Will you sing to me, papa?” Her lids half shaded her eyes. She was moments from falling asleep again.
“Sure, sweetheart.”
As he sang her favorite hymn, ‘It Is Well,’ a small smile formed on her lips. She sighed and drifted into sleep before he finished the first verse. The words of the song couldn’t have been further from how he felt. His soul would not be well until his Lily was.
It was two-and-a-half long weeks before her fever broke for good. The day it did, Jesse sat hunched over in his chair next to her bed, his elbows on his thighs. His forehead rested on top of his folded hands. He was praying, bargaining with God and making a million promises that he swore he would keep if Lily only pulled through.
That’s when he felt her light touch. She threaded her fingers through his hair. “Jesse?” she said softly.
He looked up and took her hand in his. It felt cooler and dry. “Hello, darlin’.”
She smiled at him. Her smile was weak, but the glassy look was gone from her eyes. He touched her forehead with the back of his hand like he’d done a hundred times over the last couple of weeks. It no longer felt hot. He breathed a sigh of relief and a prayer of thanks. He could have wept, but instead he smiled. “You’ve been a sick little girl, Lily.”
She nodded. “You’ve been here the whole time taking care of me, haven’t you?”
“Yes, honey. I couldn’t bear to leave you.”
As Lily regained her strength, Jesse worked himself back into the daily routine of running the saloon. It became clear then how much the business had suffered due to his absence and the boycott by Elijah’s supporters. Two of the saloon girls had left for Tucson to seek better employment. The saloon wasn’t even earning enough in sales and tips to pay the building’s lease. When the day came that the lease money was due, Jesse and Florence dipped into their savings and were barely able to scrape together enough to pay for another month. If something didn’t turn around, they would be out of business in less than thirty-one days.
Florence was furious with him. “Just ‘cause you finally found yourself a piece of calico doesn’t make it right for you to neglect your responsibilities. My father would be horrified by your lack of good business sense.”
Jesse apologized to her but didn’t feel sorry for his time away caring for Lily. “Things will get back to normal now, Flo. We’ll open the bar earlier and stay open later. I’ll play ‘til my fingers are numb.” He still felt hopeful then.
Unfortunately, things didn’t get back to normal. Florence despaired, and Jesse began to despair as well. To make matters worse, the next week Jesse was called away to testify against Elijah. As he packed his belongings, Lily sat on the bed in his room at the saloon. It was one of the few times he allowed her inside. His rule that she never enter through the front doors of the saloon remained in place even then. He’d brought her through the back and took her directly to his room, which didn’t allow anyone to see her and also didn’t provide her with a view of the lackluster entertainment on the main floor.
Jesse hadn’t told Lily about his financial straits and wondered whether he should. He didn’t like the thought of worrying her, but he also didn’t like leaving her in the dark.
“I’ll miss you, Jesse.” She fiddled with some loose thread on the quilt. “How long do you reckon you’ll be gone?”
Jesse folded his best shirt, which he planned to wear when he gave his testimony. He placed it in his bag. “I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t think more than a week—two days to get there, one or two days to testify, and another two days to travel back.”
“I guess I can survive without you for that long,” she said with a smile.
He bent down and kissed her. “I’m not sure I can.”
She giggled. “I love you so much, Jesse. I can’t wait to be married to you.”
He kissed her again before he straightened and walked to his wardrobe to retrieve his shoes. He’d planned to ask her to marry him by then, but now that he’d used his savings to try to salvage the saloon instead of using it on a down payment for a house, he wasn’t sure whether it was the right time.
“Honey, there’s something you should know, but I don’t want you to worry about it because I’ll find a way to solve the problem.”
She cocked her head to the side. “What’s wrong?”
“There’s been some financial trouble here at the saloon due to Elijah’s supporters boycotting the business.” He didn’t mention the other reason for the financial issues, which was that his presence by her side during her illness meant the customers didn’t receive the entertainment they expected and had all but stopped coming.