His Alone (For Her #2)

It became clear as I stared down the barrel of a gun, with the woman I love most in the world on the other side of it. I know exactly what I need to do. So much pain was on her face. She thought another man in her life failed her, and I never wanted that for her. I will do anything to take that look off her face.

The elevator sounds, and I turn to see Mallory getting off, her panic clear on her face. When she sees me, her expression turns to anger as she heads right toward me. When she lifts her fist to swing at me, I don’t bother trying to block it. I even let my head jerk with the punch, giving her the satisfaction she’s looking for. The punch hits part of my lip, and I taste blood.

“Holy motherfucker!” she yells. Paige’s front door flies open. “Why the hell didn’t you ever tell me how much it hurts to punch someone?” Mallory is yelling, but my eyes are on Paige. She still has the gun in her hand, hanging down by her side, her face red and blotchy as tears coat her cheeks.

I take a step toward her, but the look she gives me stops me dead. It’s not anger. It’s pain now. Deep, gut-wrenching pain that almost brings me to my knees. I put that there.

“Move, asshole.” Mallory pushes me, and I step aside, letting her get to Paige. She engulfs her in a hug, and Paige’s eyes fall closed as she seeks her friend’s comfort. Not mine. I was the one who was supposed to comfort her. Not rip her apart.

Mallory pulls away and pushes Paige back into her apartment. “Leave,” Mallory growls at me, before slamming the door, leaving me alone in the hallway all over again.

This ends tonight. I take the stairs down to my apartment and go straight for my safe. After pulling out everything I need, I go over to my computer and reach out to another operative. One I know I can trust to never speak a word of what I’m about to do. He owes me from when I saved his sister and kept my mouth shut. I had him in my back pocket once the man who had hurt her suddenly went missing.

I’m calling in my favor. Fuck everything else. Fuck the job. It stopped being about the job a long time ago. Everything I did always put Paige first, but maybe I should’ve taken out Alexander sooner. I wasn’t sure if that was what she really wanted until they came face-to-face weeks ago. The terror in her eyes was real. He was a monster that haunted her dreams, and only his death would bring peace.

When I held her in my arms while she cried and told me what had happened to her mother, I realized what she truly wanted. I’m going to give it to her. I would have done it years ago if I had known, but I know now. I’ll show her that I’ll do anything for her. Even if she doesn’t want me after. Even if everything blows up in my face, she will have peace of mind.

Strapping on my guns, I take out my cell phone and toss it on the bed, not wanting to be tracked.

I glance around my bedroom, wondering what Paige would think if she saw it. My walls are lined with pictures of her. She coats every inch of space. It’s part of my dirty secret, my obsession with her. Hundreds of pictures that I’d collected over the years act as wallpaper.

Maybe I should be embarrassed, but I’m not. Is it crazy? Yes. But it is what it is. She has fueled my life for the past five years. She’s been my everything, and I’m going to show her how much she means to me. I’ll prove to her that I’ll always do what needs to be done for her, and maybe in the end I can have her.





Chapter Twenty-Five


Paige



* * *





MALLORY WRAPS HER arms around me, holding me tightly as I cry on her shoulder. She lets me get it out until no more tears can break free. I want to pull her closer and push her away at the same time. I don’t want to be touched, but I feel like I’m falling apart. My world is slipping away from me.

Maybe this is payback for what I’ve done. I forgot about my mother and tried to have something for myself. All of that has led to everything around me crumbling. Not all at once, but taking me piece by piece until there’s nothing left. It feels like there’s no life inside me, only emptiness. I’m left with an empty heart and hollowness in my chest.

“What happened?” she asks, pulling back and looking at me. Her eyes go to the gun in my hand, and they widen before she can hide her reaction.

“Captain.” I shake my head. “Ryan,” I correct, not wanting to use the silly name we’d given him. “He works for my father.” The last of my words are ripped from me. It’s like I can’t believe them. That they can’t be true.

“No.” She shakes her head, as much in denial as I am.

I turn from her, gripping the gun tighter. I’m not sure if I can use the thing. I’d shocked myself when I shot the wall. That I actually pulled the trigger. Why does this hurt worse than losing my mother? Because I’m selfish. That’s all I’ve been these past few weeks.

“I saw it. All the emails.”

I’d read only a few of them before I pushed the laptop away from me. I didn’t want to look at it anymore. I didn’t want to believe it. I’m not going to be a fool any longer. I put the gun down and pick up the laptop. Then I start typing away.

“What are you doing? Maybe we should call Miles. Or fuck, I don’t know. Paige, tell me what to do. You’re scaring me.”

I ignore her rapid firing of questions and keep typing until I find him. “Got you,” I whisper to myself, picking up the gun and heading to my bedroom. I pull off my clothes and change into black running pants, a sports bra and black hoodie, then I pull my hair into a ponytail.

“You’re doing it, aren’t you?” I look over at Mal standing in the doorway of my bedroom, tears sliding down her cheek. “I know I―I s-said…” She stumbles over her words. “I know I said I wouldn’t stand in your way, but...” Her hands go to her mouth like she’s trying to calm herself so she can get the words out. “You’re my family, and I can’t lose you. I know that’s selfish, but please just, just...” She repeats the word over and over, like she can’t form a sentence or think of how to end it.