I couldn’t help it—I gaped at her in awe. What the hell was going on? “Are you asking me if I’m being held hostage by a group of men who are abusing me?” I could barely squeeze the words out of a throat gone tight with anger and disgust.
My Phoenix hissed at the condescending smile she shot me. “Now, Nix, I wouldn’t put it quite like that. We’re worried about you. There are required dorm activities for freshman that you have not been involved in. You missed class, supposedly due to a serious illness, and yet you look remarkably healthy now. You also have not reported to the campus health center. You can see why your professors would be concerned. It was right of your classmate to bring this to our attention.”
“Someone brought this to your attention?” It was like she was speaking in riddles on purpose. I was so confused and having a hard time following her overly polite, passive-aggressive tirade. What the hell was going on? I spent years being abused, showing up to school with massive injuries, to be, for the most part, ignored. Now, as a full adult, I was being questioned about my morality and my work ethic? I had made sure to catch up on all my assignments and reading. For all the days I had been out, I hadn’t allowed myself to fall behind. How did this make any sense?
I struggled to keep my tone even and controlled as I responded. My Phoenix was hissing madly in my head, and I could feel the tell-tale heat in my fingertips, suggesting she wanted to blast this bitchy woman. “I’m not sure who came to you with this tale. Yes, I have made friends, some of whom live off campus. I went to a local doctor off campus for personal health reasons, and I have no requirement to justify that. While I have spent some nights away from campus, the majority of my nights have been spent here as my roommate is willing to attest to. I’m sorry that someone brought this to you to try and stir up trouble. I made good friends with these men, and I don’t appreciate having that friendship maligned with sly and terrible insinuations. They have done nothing but take care of me while I was ill.” I was shaking at this point, trying to keep a hold on my temper. I would need to work with this advisor at multiple points throughout this semester and potentially in future courses as well. The last thing I needed—no matter how badly I wanted it—was to start an all-out war with her.
She cleared her throat delicately, that condescending smile never leaving her face. “Now, Nix. I’m not saying you have to justify your health concerns. And I am not saying that we are concerned about you making male friends, but you can see how this particular situation is tenuous. I know that your roommate is particularly close to a few of the men in question, and it could be difficult to share if something were going on in that regards. I just want to let you know that my door is always open. A student like you, alone, so far away from any kind of family, we like to make sure you’re well taken care of.” The simpering smile was back in place, but it didn’t detract from the chill in her eyes.
“Thank you, ma’am. I’m perfectly happy with the way things are going since I’ve moved here. If my professors have any more concerns regarding my missed classes, please let them know they can talk to me directly. I can get a notice from my doctor.” I tried to keep a pasted smile on my face.
“Yes, yes, that’s all well and good. However, I still think you are spending far too much time away from people your age. There are so many activities for the freshman to experience, not to mention all of the activities for females we have on campus. Rush week is coming up. Have you thought of rushing a sorority? We have some fine options on campus.” I swear the bitch was nearly batting her eyes at me.
“No, ma’am, I’m afraid sororities aren’t exactly my thing. My roommate and I have grown very close, and I prefer to focus on that friendship and my studies rather than focusing on multiple extra-curricular activities. I am fairly set in my academic plan for the next few years, and I am continuing to strive for that goal.” I wanted to rage at this woman. How dare she malign the sweet, caring, gentle men that had made me feel at home for the first time in my life? “If you don’t mind, I really should be heading back to my class. I prefer taking notes myself rather than relying on someone else’s.” She nodded stiffly.
“Just consider what I said, my dear. We can always reassign your dorm if it’s necessary.”
I slung my back over my shoulder, trying to keep my anger contained for the few more minutes I would remain in her office. “May I ask who brought this to your attention?”
Ms. Stone reared back, pulling her hand to her chest in a fluttering gesture. “I’m not quite sure how that’s relevant.”
I tried to smile, putting all of the false sweetness into it I could. “I just wanted to thank whoever was looking out for me. I think they would make a very good friend if they’ve gone to this extreme to make sure I’m taken care of.” I put as much wide-eyed enthusiasm into the statement as I could.
After a slow perusal of my features, Ms. Stone smiled brightly. “I think that’s an outstanding idea. Two of your classmates brought you to our attention.” She pulled a small, red file from her desk drawer, flipping through what appeared to be sheaves of notes and emails. “A young woman named Ahmya mentioned that you hadn’t been spending time in your dorms. A young man from your Intro class and your Biology class, Mason, also approached us with concerns.”
“Thank you; you’ve been very helpful.” That bitch! At this point, I didn’t know if I was referring to Ms. Stone or Ahmya. I closed the door gently behind me, allowing the painful smile to drop from my face as the latch clicked. I should have expected Ahmya would have done what she could to stop me from spending time with the guys, including reporting me for not spending enough time in my dorm room. I had absolutely no idea who Mason was, though. It wasn’t a surprise that we shared multiple classes, as they were both freshman courses, but I wouldn’t have been able to pick him out of a lineup.
Walking back outdoors, I hesitated for a moment, my hand on my bag. I wanted to call the guys to rant and rave about the meeting I’d just had—about how Ahmya was trying to cause problems. That bitch just didn’t know when to stop. What did she think she was going to accomplish? Did she think she’d ever find herself back in the guys good graces after the things she’d said? After tattling on my whereabouts? If she did, she was delusional. I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t judge Mason because I had no idea who he was, but I wanted him to keep his nose out of my business. Taking a deep breath, I tried to sort it all out in my head. While the interaction and accusations were stressful and annoying, they weren’t anything I couldn’t handle on my own for now—especially Ahmya. I already felt bad about burdening them with my past, Michael, and needing escorts to class. They didn’t need to worry about this unless it truly became a problem. They were already on edge and didn’t want me back at school, and none of us needed anymore stress in our lives. For now I decided to just monitor the situation while we figured everything else out, and talk to the guys about it if it became necessary.
Pulling my phone from my bag, I strode further down the pathway and stepped off onto the grass so I was out of the way of students rushing to and from classes. I shot a quick text to Damien to let him know where I was so he wouldn’t panic. Slowly, I breathed deeply, counting every breath and holding for five seconds before I released it, enjoying the cold crisp air in my lungs. The wind bit against my cheeks as it flowed through the many trees on the school grounds, and from my position, I could see the mountains that rose against the brilliant blue sky on the side of campus. I had enjoyed watching those mountains from the moment I stepped off the plane. Their solid, imposing, beauty had struck a chord within me that I hadn’t even known was missing as they stood sentinel over the rugged landscape. I had never seen mountains in person, having spent the majority of my life living in Florida, and now I couldn’t imagine living anywhere without them.