The first five weeks were a breeze.
The last two weeks have been hell.
If only apartment nine would get the memo and quit fucking like a porn star on a reunion show.
“Ugghh.” I scream into my pillow. Every detail of the night plays over in my head, and before I know it, I’ve worked myself up into a mess.
Needing someone to talk me down from my impending freak-out, I reach for the phone and dial my best friend, Payton.
“Hello?” She answers on the third ring.
“I knew you would still be up,” I greet, not caring it’s after midnight.
“Yeah, Arabella is teething.”
Arabella is Payton’s four-year-old daughter. She’s also my niece and goddaughter.
“Again?” I don’t know much about teeth, but it seems like the poor kid is too old for new teeth.
“Ahh, yeah. These ones are her second molars. It’s hell.”
“Ugghh, I bet.” I shudder, not sure how she does the mothering gig most days. That shit is scary.
Payton and I have been friends since high school. Even though we weren’t the best of friends in the beginning—since she was captain of the cheer squad and I was captain of the debate team—we soon got to know each other when she started dating my older brother, Jett.
Jett and Payton, the cliché, high-school sweethearts.
Payton and I grew closer when we left for college, even living in the same dorm. No one, especially me, would have guessed Payton and Jett would have survived high school and college, but they proved us all wrong five years ago when they married. They beat the odds, had the perfect relationship, fell pregnant right after their honeymoon, and nine months later welcomed Miss Arabella.
They had it all.
Until last year when my dipshit brother went and ruined it by cheating on her.
“What are you doing up?” she asks, oblivious to my personal dilemma.
“One word: neighbor.”
“What? Again? Are you kidding me? What’s that, every night this week?” She’s trying not to laugh, but failing miserably. I’ve been filling her in on my neighbor’s activities, even calling her on Sunday to let her listen in on the fuck-a-thon. “I think it’s time you need to address this, Lib. What about a note?”
“Yeah, I don’t think a note is going to fix this.”
Could it?
“You never know. You could write something like, “Hey, neighbor, I’ve heard you like to fuck a lot, maybe you can ball gag the next bitch you bring home, so I’m not being woken at one every morning.”
“Umm, no. That’s not happening.” I laugh, knowing Payton isn’t joking. She would have had a note pinned up on apartment nine’s door, signed and dated after the first night here if this were happening to her.
“Why the hell not? Maybe he doesn’t know the walls are stupidly thin.”
“Nope, I’m pretty sure he knows.”
“How do you know?”
“Because something happened,” I offer, still unsure how I even begin to fill her in what happened tonight.
“What? Did you finally meet him? He’s hot, isn’t he? I knew it. No man fucks the way you described and isn’t attractive. Tell me how hot is he?” Her voice rises with each question.
“I don’t know. I still haven’t met him.” She’s quiet for a beat, something which doesn’t often happen to Payton before she catches up.
“Okay. Then what the hell happened?”
“Well—” I begin.
“No wait, don’t tell me, you picked up a one-night stand, didn’t you? Please tell me you gave him a show in return?” She cuts me off, her mind clearly making up her own scenarios.
Patience has never been Payton’s strong suit.
“Focus, Pay.”
“Sorry. Okay, go ahead.”
“Well, I was lying there, minding my own business, with my vibrator—”
“SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.” She shouts loud enough that I’m afraid apartment nine could possibly hear her.
“Shhh, keep it down. I thought it might help to relieve some of my own pent-up frustration.”
“Sorry, sorry. I’m shocked. What happened to your sabbatical?”
“Well, it’s not like it’s penetration, Pay,” I blurt, only to hide my face in my hand. I can’t believe I said that.
“If you say so.” She laughs, still not understanding my need for a sabbatical. She’s been against it since week one. “So what happened next?”
“Well, next thing I know I’m coming, and he tells me to wait for him.”
“OH, MY GOD. THIS IS FUCKING EPIC.” She cackles in hilarity before I hear the sound of a male’s voice.
“What the hell, Pay? You have company?” I sit up faster than needed.
She could have told me before I admitted to getting off.
“Ahhh, yeah. Umm, Jett dropped in to see Arabella.” The way she casually says it, tells me she’s full of shit.
More like dropped in for a booty call.
“Jesus, what the hell are you doing, Payton?” I can’t keep the annoyance out of my voice. The last thing Payton needs right now is Jett sniffing around.