“I can’t answer that, sir. Only you and the team can.” I don’t know what to say, or if I should say anything. I want to say when I’m on the job, I’m focused, I’m switched on, and for the most part, I am, but when you’re constantly questioned on your mental ability in these sorts of situations, you can start to doubt yourself.
“You passed your physical, you requalify at the top of your team every year, but as you are aware, we had over twenty applicants for new team leader.”
“Yes, sir. I was aware.”
“Your psych testing.” He pauses.
Fuck, here we go.
“The guy was a pompous ass. Got in my head.” I come right out and say it. No point beating around the bush. He’s gotta know I fucked up.
“They all are. It’s their job.” He’s right; it’s their job, but a fucking polygraph to test my stress? I call bullshit.
“The department outsources to different companies. I had no idea what went on until after the fact. Seems to me you received the short end of the stick.” I don’t say anything as I nervously wait for the setback I’ve been expecting all week.
“Is your head in the right space, Hetcherson?” he questions, and it takes everything in me not to say I don’t know.
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. The decision will be made next week. I suggest you think long and hard about what it is you can bring to the team, Hetcherson, because from what I saw today, you have a team ready to follow your lead. It’s only you holding yourself back.” I nod, releasing a quiet and steady breath. “I’ll see you back at headquarters.” He leaves me standing there more confused than what I was last week.
Does this mean I’m being considered, even though I blew my psych evaluation? Or is his warning a preparation for things to come?
All the questioning in the world won’t give me the answer I’m looking for; all I can do is wait.
“You doing okay, Hetch?” Sterling steps into command as soon as the lieutenant steps out.
“Yep, good job out there.” I don’t relay the lieutenant’s conversation, opting to keep it to myself for now.
“The team is heading to The Elephant after debriefing, you in?”
“Yeah, I’m in.” I school my features the best I can and act like I didn’t get a warning to sort my shit out. The truth is the lieutenant’s words have me stuck in a gray area.
Maybe team leader holds too much power over me. Or maybe I am the only one holding me back.
I have to figure out what it is I want.
’Cause right now, I’m not sure.
“I want her.” I signal as the woman I’ve been eyeing stands from her table and moves toward us. Her short blonde hair hangs below her jaw in soft, loose curls.
Fuck, just enough to hold on to.
Her sharp green eyes find mine briefly before she drops her gaze to the floor. A small, possibly shy smile drags my eyes down to her mouth. She’s wearing red on her lips, and the small dip in the top pout has my cock wanting to claim every inch of her fuckable mouth.
Jesus, she’s fucking beautiful.
I noticed her as soon as we walked into The Elephant twenty minutes ago, and I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off her.
“You keep going at this rate, you’ll blow through all the available women in town.” Sterling throws back the remainder of his beer. He’s not gonna fight me on it. He just wants to give me shit.
“You going to start on me too?” I continue to watch the blonde. Her hips sway from side to side as she makes her way to the restrooms. I’m not fucking stupid; the little sway is for show. Like a fucking peacock displaying her feathers. Presenting herself to me.
“You won’t hear any complaints from me. Who’s giving you a hard time?”
“Who isn’t? Mom, Kota, my new fucking neighbor.” My mind skips over my mom and sister and flashes to the mystery woman who’s managed to turn me on and surprise me at the same time.
“I still don’t know why you’re in that place when you have a perfectly livable house.” Sterling nods to RJ, signaling for another beer. He doesn’t bother checking if I want another. He’s picked up my vice for the evening will be *, not alcohol.
The truth is I’ve had the house for over three years. Before my father killed himself, he was helping me renovate. The first two years after his death, I couldn’t go back. The reminder of him around the place was too raw. Too fresh. It’s only been in the last twelve months I’ve started spending days off out there. Slowly working on it. Of course, I don’t tell Sterling any of this.
“I told you, I’m not living there until I’m done fixing it up.” I know it’s counterproductive, paying a mortgage on my own place and paying rent in town, but the house needs major work, and I refuse to live in the mess of construction while I renovate. The job most days takes it out of you, coming home to chaos won’t cut it for me. I don’t need the clutter in my life.
“So what about this new neighbor? Nosey old bat is she?” The bastard smirks, probably looking forward to the story.
“Not that I know of.” I shake my head, still unable to get her out of my mind. Her soft whimpers the other night when I heard her pleasuring herself, the sharp gasp of air when she realized I was listening. It all keeps replaying over and over.