‘I know that. But do you think I can?’
The Sultan had said something to me the night of Auranzeb, with his firstborn’s blood still on his hands. He’d said that the world was changing. That the time of immortals and magic was ending. That they should not be allowed to rule our lives any more – we should rule theirs. The Sultan was a cruel, self-serving man. But I didn’t know that he was wrong when he said that. Maybe it was time to change. Maybe the desert was ready to choose its own ruler.
‘Yes.’ I nodded slowly, my head still swimming a little. ‘I think it might work.’ Ahmed’s shoulders sagged in relief, and I realised he’d been nervous about what I would say. He pressed his knuckle into the spot on his forehead.
I reached up to his hairline, moving one of the dark curls away from the spot he’d been worrying at. ‘Where did you get that?’ I asked before I could stop myself. I knew most of the scars on Jin’s body. Ahmed didn’t have quite so many. But he had some.
‘Oh.’ Ahmed laughed. ‘It was my fault. It was when Jin and I were very young, our first year on board the Black Seagull. I was learning to plot courses while Jin spent most of his time clambering up and down the rigging. I made a mistake one day. We sailed into a storm that we should have been able to avoid. I could’ve shipwrecked us. As it was, I was lucky – I just split my head open on the deck when we nearly capsized. I thought I was going to die that day.’
‘Are you afraid?’ I asked, dropping my hand. ‘Of dying?’ I felt the memory of Zaahir’s kiss tingling on my lips.
‘I don’t know.’ He considered. If anyone had asked me the same question, my answer would have been quick and certain. Yes, terrified. Did that make me selfish and cowardly? ‘I’ve seen a lot of the world, a lot of what people believe about death, and I don’t entirely know what I believe waits for us after. But I do fear things in this life. Not dying, but losing. That I’ll have been the one to lead us into the monster’s mouth, promising it was a cave of riches. That others will die, and that those who have already died for me will have done so for nothing. That everything that has happened and everything I have done will have become entirely insignificant and forgotten.’
But then we were all more selfish than Ahmed. That was why he led us. And he was right. We weren’t in this for ourselves. For this life. We were in it for what we could make for the future. The rest of us could die for this. But Ahmed needed to live.
If I used Zaahir’s kiss for Bilal, Ahmed might still fall at the eleventh hour. He might die leading us to victory. But I was frightened that if I didn’t use Zaahir’s kiss for Bilal, I’d be far too tempted to give it to Jin instead.
Because I would always be more selfish than Ahmed.
*
It took us three days of sailing to reach the northern edge of Miraji, and another two before we were close to port again. As we sailed towards Ghasab, we passed near enough to the coast that the shadow of the middle mountains fell over the ship. Everyone came on deck to watch as we sailed by, crossing the frontier from eastern Miraji to west, a long way from where we’d crossed over the other way.
We were close.
So close to getting Rahim to his army, to snatching them away from Bilal and marching them on Izman.
I’d only been to the port city of Ghasab once – twice if you counted the time I was dragged through it unconscious by my aunt. But I hadn’t exactly got to see much of it then.
Ahmed sent the twins out ahead to report back the day before we would dock. It might be a few days to Iliaz on foot but it was only a few short hours as the shape-shifting falcons flew. They were back before sundown. Maz landed on the crow’s nest and scrambled down the mast in the shape of a monkey, while Izz misjudged his landing and catapulted into a roll that only didn’t break his neck because he became a snake at the last second before turning into a very naked boy at our feet.
Izz reached us first. ‘There’s an army,’ he said breathlessly, yet with a wide-eyed look that couldn’t quite hide his exhilaration at beating Maz to us.
‘Were you two racing?’ Shazad asked, tossing Izz a shirt, which he tied around his middle, for our sake.
Izz beamed momentarily. ‘I won.’
‘I can see that,’ Shazad said, handing a pair of trousers to a disgruntled-looking Maz, as he reached the bottom of the mast and changed back to a boy. ‘What’s this about an army?’
‘Iliaz,’ Maz said, fastening his trousers. ‘There’s an army camped at the western base of the mountains, by the look of it.’
‘There are blue flags,’ Izz added.
‘The Gallan,’ I said, feeling my blood go cold. ‘What are they doing here?’ I’d found my seasickness was better if I stayed on deck, where the air was less stale. And the plants Ahmed had given me had helped some. I’d taken to sleeping above deck, falling asleep under the stars. Jin was usually there at night, too, manning this monstrous ship I didn’t understand or like with the whole of his attention.
I’d been avoiding him ever since Zaahir had kissed me, since any temptation to kiss him would be a decision bigger than I was ready to make right now.
‘Probably running a supply route to Izman through the mountains.’ Rahim crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against one of the huge masts. ‘It’s what I would do if I were laying siege to the city. You’d think they’d have the decency to stay out of our country while we fight this out among ourselves.’
‘How many?’ Shazad asked, growing grave now. She checked around quickly, making sure no one else on board was close enough to hear.
Izz and Maz traded sheepish looks. Izz scratched his blue hair, making it stick up at the back as he faced us. ‘A lot?’ he guessed.
‘I’d say at least twice that many.’ Maz nodded along seriously.
‘So too many to fight outright,’ Jin interpreted for the rest of us.
‘Any way we can walk through under an illusion?’ Shazad turned to our Demdji princess.
‘I don’t think I can hide this many people.’ Delila chewed her lip as she glanced around. ‘Six people is one thing, but we’re close to three hundred now.’
The wind off the water picked up, riffling its fingers through all of our hair, dashing a few stray strands over our general’s face, deep in thought.
‘We could fly over them.’ Ahmed was pressing that spot on his hairline again.
‘Only in small numbers, though,’ Jin pointed out, leaning on the helm as we moved gently through the water. I stared out across the narrow band of sparkling blue ocean. We had finished passing the mountain now. The coast wasn’t green fields and orchards of sweet fruits any more. It was blistering golden sand. It was desert. My desert.
‘It would take too long,’ Rahim agreed for once. ‘And it’s a risk to split everyone up.’