“I don’t know,” I stammered, and stared at the dark water in front of me.
“And we’re really supposed to believe that?” Carter said, and some of the mean had snaked its way back into his voice. “He’s your dad.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I guess technically. But I hardly know the guy.”
“Us either,” Brady said.
“So that’s something we have in common.” I gave them a weak smile, which neither of them returned, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw Toby watching me.
Toby splashed his arms in the water and repeated, “Come on in.”
“I would, but I don’t have a swimsuit.”
“So?” Carter said. “Neither do we. Just swim in your underwear.”
“But …”
“Don’t be weird,” Brady said. “We’re family.”
A fuzzy feeling bubbled in my stomach. “Family, huh?”
“Yeah.” Carter affirmed his brother’s statement. “Family.”
Toby splashed his arms again. “Hey, I’m not family. But I promise not to look.” He swam in a circle, turning his back to me.
“Don’t be a perv, Toby,” Carter groaned, and Brady laughed.
I took a deep breath and then quickly slipped my T-shirt up over my head. I unbuttoned my jeans and stepped out of them. I ran into the water and landed with a splash.
“That landing proves you’re family,” Carter said to me.
I gave him a fake salute. “Glad to have proved myself.”
“Don’t get too high on yourself yet,” he warned. “I said it proved you’re family. I still haven’t decided if I like you.”
Brady laughed and splashed his brother.
“So you guys used to come here a lot with Tom?”
All three of them nodded.
“He always wanted to fish out here,” Carter said with a laugh. “But we never caught any fish.”
“But those afternoons were the best,” Brady filled in. “Nana would pack us sandwiches and we’d sit out here for hours with Grandpa. Swimming and joking around.” A look passed over Brady’s face. “Remember when Toby pretended to be a fish that one day?”
They all doubled over laughing.
“When Gramps wasn’t looking,” Carter explained to me, “Toby would dive under and tug at his bait.”
I was getting the sense that Toby pretty frequently made a fool of himself to entertain the twins, but he didn’t seem that eager to go over every one of his efforts. “It was funnier when we were younger,” he said, and something about his voice made me think he was blushing again.
“Let’s play chicken!” Brady said.
Carter pretended to groan. “Gramps hated chicken.”
“Exactly,” Brady said. “So it’s the perfect way to honor him.”
“By doing something that would definitely piss him off?” Carter said.
“What could be more perfect?” Toby chimed in. “The old man was always pissed.”
“That he was,” Brady agreed.
“In the best sort of way,” Carter said, and I could hear the emotion in his voice.
“So what do you say, newbie?” Brady asked me. “You and Toby versus Car and me?”
I looked to Toby and he gave me a reassuring smile. “Yeah,” I said. “I’m in.”
IX.
The walk back was similar to the walk there. Except that we were all soaked. The ends of my hair kept dribbling water onto my T-shirt. The twins darted ahead of us, but Toby lagged behind with me.
“See?” he said. “They’re not so bad.”
“I never said they were bad,” I argued. “I said that they hated me.”
“They seem to hate you a tiny bit less now,” Toby offered.
“Probably because of my exceptional chicken skills,” I said.
“Probably,” he agreed.
We walked in silence for a few moments and then I said, “I wish I’d come to Oak Falls sooner.”
Toby let out a deep breath. “I wish you had too.”
“Hey,” I said. “Earlier you said you weren’t really one for questions. But you kept asking me questions. Why?”
He bumped his shoulder against mine. “Because I find you interesting.”
I swallowed and tried to ignore the flipping sensation in my stomach. “You don’t even know me.”
“That’s true,” he conceded. “Or at least not well.”
“So how do you know I’m interesting?”
He grinned. “At first, I was interested in you because your story was interesting. Girl meets famous father and his family after all these years? After Carter and Brady filled me in on your existence, I knew I had to check you out.”
“Check me out?” I teased.
He laughed. “You know what I mean.”
“So you had an eye out for me this morning?”
“Yeah,” he admitted. “I’d been prepared to dislike you, actually.”
“Because of Carter and Brady?”
“Sort of,” he said. “And because I was jealous that you were actually related to Tom.”
“But you were the one that actually knew him.”
He gave me a wry look. “I didn’t say my thinking was rational. Tom meant a lot to me.”
I swallowed and worked up the nerve to ask the question that had been on my mind. “Because of your own father?”
“Yeah,” Toby said slowly. “This will probably sound silly to you, but I really wanted Tom’s respect because I knew my dad had deeply respected Tom. And if I wasn’t ever going to have the chance to prove myself to my dad, the next best thing I could do was prove myself to Tom.”
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out.
His face registered surprise. “For what?”
“I’ve been whining about my dad and, well, it’s complicated, he’s …”
“Alive?” Toby filled in.
“Yeah,” I said softly.
He nudged my shoulder again. “Don’t worry about it. I know you big-city girls think you’re all-powerful, responsible for every choice the Universe makes and all that, but you aren’t responsible for my dad’s death. Or the fact that your dad is still alive.” He pointed up at the sky. “That’s beyond even you, you know?”
My shoulder tingled in the spot where he had briefly touched it. I followed his finger to the sky, taking a moment to revel in the brightness of the stars. Looking up at them made me feel impossibly small, in the best sort of way. “I told you already, I’m not from a big city.”
“I know,” he said, smiling. “It’s just fun to tease you.”
I shook my head, laughing a little. “Does that mean you’ve revised your opinion of me from this morning?”
“This morning? I changed my mind the moment I saw you.”
We stepped out of the woods into the clearing. The shadowy outline of the Oliver farmhouse hovered in the distance.
“That’s not true,” I said softly, not completely trusting my voice.
He touched my arm lightly. “Yes, it is. I saw you this morning and I …” He trailed off for a moment.
“And you …?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m trying to think of how to say this in a way that will make sense.”
I stayed quiet, waiting.
“This morning, I saw you walking along this fence.” He gestured to his side where the white equestrian-style fence was, dividing the Oliver property from his own. “And I recognized something in you.”
“Recognized?”