“Right,” I said, and then added, as if I had to explain my early-morning activities to Toby, “I don’t sleep well in strange places.”
“Understandable,” he said, and despite my aversion to it before, I made eye contact with him. He was admittedly very cute, though I felt like that was probably one of the last things he would want you to notice about him, which somehow made him cuter. Goddamnit.
“What?” he said after I’d stared him down for a good minute.
“I’m just trying to figure you out.”
He laughed. “And you think you can figure out us simple folks from Oak Falls just by staring at us for a moment or two?”
I blanched. “No, no. That’s not it at all.”
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t know. You’re being incredibly friendly to someone you don’t know.”
Toby whistled to himself.
“What?” I asked, feeling a little self-conscious.
“I just find it very interesting that you’re characterizing my behavior as ‘very friendly.’ Maybe Brady and Carter were right about you.”
“Excuse me?” It took me a second to process that my cousins, who, up until a few moments ago, I hadn’t even known existed, had already judged me. These were the moments when I was convinced Mom was right about the human race—the majority of people should not be trusted.
“They figured you’d be …” He looked nervous. Some of his bravado had faded.
“I’d be?” I prompted.
“You know. Think you’re better than all of us since you’re Julian Oliver’s daughter.”
Before I had a chance to say anything, Toby continued, “But I thought they might be judging you too quickly. So I figured I’d check you out for myself.”
“Right,” I said dryly. “And what’s your assessment?”
“Jury’s still out,” he said pleasantly, and fiddled with the bill of his baseball cap again. He leaned his back against the fence.
“Did you just hop over that when you saw me walking around?”
He nodded proudly. “Guilty as charged.”
“Is that allowed? Hopping onto someone else’s property like that?”
“Depends who’s asking. You’d be surprised. The crazy stuff that goes down here in Oak Falls.”
I laughed. “Okay then.” I briefly relished the fact that Toby had the distinct privilege of being the first boy to hop over a fence to talk to me. And then felt embarrassed by the fact I was relishing that at all.
Your grandfather is dying, I reminded myself.
But you don’t even know him, my mind argued.
But still, my conscience fired back.
“Let’s walk down to the lake,” he said, as if that was the most natural suggestion in the whole world.
“The lake?”
Toby pointed off into the distance. “Yeah. There’s a lake that sits at the far edge of your property.” Then he quickly corrected himself. “Of your grandparents’ property.” And then corrected himself again. “Of Debra’s property.”
“And this lake is one of the things that will reveal Oak Falls to have more going on than meets the eye?”
He glanced at me, an unreadable expression on his face. It began to dawn on me that Toby was the word “earnest” in living form. I could easily imagine him dressed in an Eagle Scout uniform, passing out canned goods to homeless people on a snowy Christmas Eve. I began to wonder if I’d crossed some imaginary line. Like it was okay for him to joke about Oak Falls being small and boring and provincial, but not okay for me to do so.
“I dunno,” he said slowly. “I figured you might just want to see it since it’s one of your grandfather’s favorite places.”
“Really?” Something inside me thrummed with a curiosity I hadn’t known I had.
“Yeah. When I was younger, he used to take me, Brady, and Carter down there to fish.” Toby let out a laugh that wasn’t really a laugh but more the mere echo of one. “I really liked your grandfather. He was a special guy.” And then he quickly corrected himself. “I mean like. And is. Present tense.”
He flashed me an apologetic look and I shrugged. “The verbiage is difficult, huh?” I said.
He nodded somberly. “I love Tom. You see, I lost my dad when I was six, so Tom tried to be like, I don’t know, a father figure of sorts. When I was younger, he used to invite me over on Saturday afternoons and we’d build model airplanes together with your cousins. He really welcomed me into your family.”
It felt impossibly weird to hear them described as my family when I wouldn’t have been able to pick Tom or my cousins out of a lineup.
“He sounds like a nice guy,” I offered. “But I wouldn’t really know.”
Toby nodded thoughtfully. “You and Julian didn’t want to hang out here too much, huh?”
I stopped walking and gaped at Toby. “What are you talking about? I didn’t even really know for sure that Julian was my father until yesterday afternoon.”
He turned to face me. He took off his baseball cap and passed it back and forth between his hands. “I had no clue. I just assumed you lived in New York City or somewhere fancy with Julian.”
I fought back a laugh. “Trust me, I’m not from New York. I live about five hours away in a place just as boring as this one.”
“Hey,” Toby said, his grin back. “Oak Falls isn’t boring. I’m going to prove that to you.”
Toby started walking again, his pace quickening like we needed to make good time. The air was getting stickier by the moment and the sun was climbing higher and higher in the sky. Also, the cow scent had not dissipated.
“I mean, there obviously was something wrong between Julian and Tom, right?” I asked. I was fishing, I knew, but I couldn’t help it.
“I dunno,” Toby said slowly. “I just know Julian didn’t come home a lot.”
“Well, I think he’s pretty busy, you know?” I was surprised by the defensive tone in my voice.
“Yeah,” Toby said quietly. “We all get it. He’s a big rock star, but I don’t think that gives you a free pass to be a jerk to your family.”
“He’s been a jerk to his family?”
“Look, it’s not really my place to talk about this,” Toby said tentatively. “You should probably ask Julian.”
“Okay,” I said. “Well, I just want to clear the air.”
Toby glanced at me, his eyes widened as if bracing for me to say something of marked import.
“Something smells like cows. And it’s not me.”
His shoulders hunched forward and he laughed. This time it was not a mere echo, but the real deal. And it was lovely. We were about to head down another hill when I heard Harlow bellowing, “Taliah Abdallat!”
“Uh,” I said, audibly swallowing. “That’s my friend.”
Toby nodded. He looked amused.
Within a few minutes, Harlow had caught up to us. Her face was flushed red from running and she was panting. Her hair was pulled into a messy low ponytail. She looked from Toby to me and back again, and then cast me a teasing smile. I gave her the don’t-you-dare glare and she laughed.
“You ran off.”
“I, unlike you, didn’t run anywhere.”
Her teasing smile widened. “Okay, smartass. Everyone is looking for you.” She turned again to Toby. “I’m Harlow, by the way. No one understands why I’m here, but I am.”