She disappeared up into her loft, leaving us in the kitchen alone. I watched her go, trying to will her downstairs.
I looked back at Thomas. I tried not to stare at this guy who had been my sister’s partner for the last several years. He was tall, if a little gangly, with a mop of blond hair on top of his head that made him look younger than he was. This was the first time we were really meeting, except for the brief exchange the morning I’d stumbled home from seeing Danny.
Thomas wiped his hand on a dishtowel. “I’m normally a pretty great cook,” he said. “Rain will tell you. But moving around is a little less than ideal at the moment.”
He hobbled to the fridge and took out a beer.
“Do you want anything?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I’m good, thanks,” I said.
He tossed over a bottle of water anyway—a small indicator that Rain had told him I was pregnant. She had probably told him as a way of explaining why she couldn’t seem to kick me off her couch.
He motioned toward the kitchen table. “Normally I wouldn’t have any problem standing around awkwardly, but would you mind if we sit awkwardly instead?”
I smiled. “No, that’s fine.”
He headed to the table, pulling out the seat closest to him. I walked over and took the seat across from him.
“It’s a little weird to meet you,” he said.
I wasn’t sure how to read that. But then he smiled—a bright and warm smile, which lit up his whole face and made him look more welcoming than I’m sure he felt.
“I mean, I hear such different things,” he said.
For a second, I thought he meant he was hearing different things from Rain herself. And I took solace in thinking she was at least conflicted about me. That she was at least talking enough about me to suggest she was conflicted. But then I realized he was talking about the things he was hearing from Rain. And from Ethan.
“You’ve made quite an impression on Ethan,” he said. “He says you’ve become pretty good friends.”
I smiled. “He’s a really great guy.”
“Is that what he is?”
I could see his protectiveness. These were two people he cared deeply about.
“Look, Thomas, I understand that you probably don’t want me here . . .”
He shook his head. “I didn’t say that.”
“Well, I’ve been trying to make other arrangements.”
He motioned toward the front door. “Like sleeping next door?”
“I wouldn’t say I was doing a great job.”
He took another swig of beer. “Well. Who is?”
Then he elevated his leg, pulling it up on the chair next to him, rubbing his knee.
“It hurts a lot?” I said.
“Ah, I’ll be all right.” He shrugged. “I’m just a little bummed. I had this whole thing planned for Rain and my anniversary next weekend and it’s going to be tough.”
“What were you planning to do?”
“I was going to take her out to the North Fork, spend the weekend going on a long ride. That’s probably out.”
“You guys could go anyway.”
He considered. “We could. I got my friend Gena to commit to watching Sammy and everything.”
The elusive Gena. “If she bails for any reason, I’ll do it.”
“Yeah? That would be awesome. Gena does bail sometimes.”
“I’d love to, if Rain would allow it.”
Thomas smiled. “That would be great,” he said. “?’Cause, you know, I was going to propose.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Really,” he said. “I mean, the getting down on one knee thing might be out.”
Then he reached into his back pocket and pulled out the ring, like proof.
It was an emerald stone, surrounded by diamonds. It was elegant and simple, a classic design.
I looked up at him, trying not to show my confusion. Why was he showing me the ring? Why was he telling me about the proposal at all? He certainly didn’t need my approval. But he wanted to need my approval. It was the kindest way I could think of for him to tell me that he was hoping we would work it out. My sister and me. He was hoping we’d be okay.
It reminded me of Danny. He had done the same thing before proposing. My father had died, not too long before, but he had driven out to Montauk to talk to Rain, to tell her he was going to ask. He told me later that they had gone to the lighthouse with coffees, and he’d told her he would take care of me. He wouldn’t tell me what she had said, and I imagined at the time it was probably something snarky about how it wasn’t her permission to give. But he had won her over that day all the same. In the gesture. In the fact that he’d acknowledged how much we mattered to each other, even if we couldn’t.
“What do you think?” Thomas said.
“It’s stunning,” I said.
He smiled. “Thanks . . . happy you think so.”
I handed him the ring, trying to fight back tears.
“Are you going to cry?”
I shook my head, the tears already starting to fall. “Definitely not.”
“That’s convincing.”
“I think it’s the pregnancy,” I said. “I keep crying at everything.”
“I won’t tell,” he said.
Which was when the front door swung open, and Rain ran in. She was completely drenched.
“Holy crap, it’s terrible out!” she said.
Then she realized that I was there.
“Oh . . .” She looked back and forth between us. “What’s going on here?”
Thomas quickly pushed the ring back into his pocket as I wiped the tears from my eyes. “Nothing,” he said. “Is it raining?”
She reached for a small kitchen towel and tried to dry herself off. “You’re funny,” she said.
She walked over to the table and stood behind Thomas, putting her hand on his shoulder, and nuzzled into his neck.
“Ah, so wet!” he said.
She leaned down and kissed him. “Deal with it,” she said.
And he did, holding her face to his, the water from her hair splattering across his chest. She smiled and, for a second, my sister looked like my sister.
She looked up, nodded. “Hi there,” she said.
I waved at her. “Hi.”
Thomas took Rain’s hand, held it to his chest. “She dropped Sammy off. We were just having a little chat.”
Rain forced a smile. “Is that right?” she said.
I pointed toward the door. “I can go.”
Rain shook her head. “I didn’t ask you to.”
Then it got quiet, awkward.
Thomas looked back and forth between us. “I’d leave you guys alone, but you know . . . not gonna get up unnecessarily.”
I looked at my sister. “Can we go somewhere and talk?” I said.
She kept her hand on Thomas, motioned around the small house. Sammy was in the loft above the living room, Thomas was taking up the kitchen, the bedroom was all bed.
“It’s raining really hard out there,” she said. “There’s not many places to go.”
I held up the key to our childhood home. “I have one.”
49
So this is super freaky,” Rain said.
We walked into the foyer, Rain taking in the house. The walls, the art, the enormous portrait of the celebrity and her husband in the dip-down living room.
“We can’t just be here,” she said.
“Humor me,” I said.