I was caring.
I was risking.
I was falling.
And I liked it.
There are often a million reasons we choose not to love someone, and nine times out of ten, that reason we cling to so tightly is because of us, not them.
I had no more reasons.
The Fifth Annual Halo Foundation Gala
“Is the camera on?” Henry laughed.
I zoomed in on his face.
“Charlie, is it on?” He stuck his tongue out.
I zoomed back out.
“Yeah, it’s recording.”
He leaned forward in the swing on our front porch. “Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. It’s me, Henry.”
This time, I laughed.
We were filming a video for Mom and Dad’s anniversary party next week.
“Well, I guess, uh, Happy Anniversary.” He ran his hands through his mess of blond hair.
He rarely cut it, now that he’d gotten older and started to grow a beard that wasn’t splotchy.
“Tell them something nice, you doofus.” I threw the first thing I could grab at him, which happened to be an orange peel.
“I would if you’d quit interrupting me.” He shook his head and put his elbows on his knees.
His face grew more serious.
“I know it hasn’t always been easy on ya both, on your marriage, with me and all, but I just wanted to say, thanks for never giving up on me.”
I zoomed in.
“Thanks for showing me and Charlie bear what it looks like to love and be loved.” He smiled into the camera. “It doesn’t get much better than that, you know? Being as loved as I am.” He looked to his lap and back up at the camera again. “If I could find someone to love as much as you love me, hell, I’d marry her on the spot.”
I laughed and he tossed one of the swing pillows at me.
“I almost dropped the camera!” I yelled at him.
He laughed.
Adjusting the lens, I zoomed back in on his face.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is, I love you, guys.”
Henry smiled into the camera.
“Are you done?” I asked, the camera still rolling.
“Yeah, Charlie bear.” He smiled. “That’s all I wanted to say.”
“We’re all set,” Tom said from beside me. “You ready, Char?”
I nodded from my position behind the stage.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great honour that I introduce to you the woman behind tonight’s gala and the founder of The Halo Foundation, Miss Charleston Smith,” Kevin announced.
Tom cued me to enter, and I stepped through the center of the white curtains to the applause.
The view from the stage was breathtaking.
Kevin’s lights, Tina’s flowers, Emma’s pillars.
The garden was wild in bloom, and all the guests in white stood out amongst the greenery.
It was our greatest masterpiece yet.
Walking to the podium, I smiled at Kevin. He looked so handsome tonight in white slacks, shirt, and bowtie. He grinned back at me.
My dress was floor length white chiffon. It had an empire waist and draped off one shoulder. My hair was pulled high into a mess of curls held back by a three-tiered gold headband that matched the Roman style stilettos, which wrapped up to my knee.
I was dressed to embody a Greek goddess, and I felt like one.
Kevin welcomed me on behalf of the audience in a hug. “I’m proud of you,” he whispered, kissing my cheek and leaving the stage.
It was just me now.
I took a steady breath, wrapping my fingers around the edges of the podium, and looked out over the crowd. “Good evening, everyone.”
The inception of my speech began to subdue the applause, and I waited, like I’d been taught to do.
Then, I started.
“For the last five years, I have stood at this gala and told you all about my brother, and how he died.” The hush grew ever-present now and my fingers relaxed. “This year, I want to tell you of how he lived.”
I found my parents in the crowd. Mom had already begun to cry, and Dad held her around the waist. They’d came, like I’d asked them to, and just as I knew they would.
My parents loved me. They didn’t love me because they only had one child left to love. They loved me, because that’s what parents did. They loved their children, regardless of how life turned out.
Tom cued the slideshow to run behind me as I began.
“Henry was my best friend.” I smiled at Mom, knowing the photo of Henry holding me the day I was born was now showing behind me.
“He was the kind of person who talked to strangers on planes, just because he wanted to get to know them.” I laughed, and Dad did too. “He was vivacious and funny.”
The photo of Henry using chopsticks as fangs appeared on the screen behind me.
“Henry wasn’t afraid of anything. He lived his life at full speed and it was a beautiful thing.”
I knew now there was the photo of Henry doing the polar bear swim when he was twelve.
“Henry was crazy about living.” I started to cry, but I wasn’t scared, not this time.