“No…because your reasons are obviously stupid ones.”
Rafe’s face reddened to the point Penny expected steam to start spewing from his nose. Instead, he growled out, “You want to know? Fine. It’s because I don’t want you anywhere near the fucking shit storm if Fuentes’s mole happens to be holed up in that base. Call me a caveman or a Neanderthal…I don’t fucking care. But I’m not willing to take that kind of risk where you’re concerned.”
She poked a finger into his chest, making him wince. “I am not a damsel in distress, Rafael Ortega. I do not need to be sheltered or coddled or protected from anything you deem unpleasant. So any thoughts you have of leaving me behind better get wiped from that hard head of yours right the hell now. If you’re going to Mocoron, so am I. This isn’t kindergarten. There are no take-backsies.”
“You could use the rest to—”
“Go crazy. Because that’s what would happen. I haven’t gotten this far to stop now. If I’m not actively doing something to find Rachel, I’ll go out of my mind. And then there’s worrying myself sick over you, you big, too-sexy oaf.”
“I’m a hardheaded, sexy oaf, am I?”
“I call it like I see it. Look, I know I screwed up. I should’ve told you I was hurt from the start, but—oh, never mind.”
Angrier at herself more than anyone, she tossed her hands up with a low growl and turned. Rafe didn’t let her go far. He grasped her at the elbow and gently whipped her back around.
Penny shook her head. “I can’t do this with you right now.”
“Look at me.” Keeping his voice soft, he caught her shaking head in his hands. “Look at me. Please.”
Oh God. She was so not ready for this talk. She made an attempt to build her own emotionless mask, but instead, her heart trembled the moment she met his gaze. The lines around his mouth relaxed, and instead of steel blue, his eyes transformed to a warm cobalt. “Can we revisit that big-sexy-oaf comment?”
“Rafe,” she sighed.
He tipped her face up, all signs of teasing erased from his face. “Yeah. You messed up by not telling me about the damn scratch. And you will not, under any circumstances, put your life in jeopardy like that again. And before you accuse me of being a Neanderthal caveman, I’m going to admit to it. I am. When it comes to you, I may as well wear a bearskin loincloth and carry around a fucking club.”
Nerves ate at her stomach lining as she wondered where this conversation was heading.
“I care about you, Red,” Rafe admitted. “I’m not going to apologize for it, and I don’t know what the hell to do with it. But my first instinct, regardless of the fact you’ve already knocked my ass to the ground, is to protect you.”
Penny’s mouth suddenly went very, very dry. She shook her head, afraid she’d be unable to form actual words and make even more of an ass of herself than she already had.
It wasn’t a declaration of love, but it elevated her heart as well as her toes. Suddenly, there was no thinking. She felt. She slipped her hands into his hair and pulled him down to her waiting lips…and she kissed him with everything she had.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Penny was done overthinking everything, done denying herself what she needed. And she needed Rafe. Every fiber of her body ached for him. Her heart shuddered with the thought of not seeing him. Touching him became nearly as important to her as breathing.
The damage was done. She’d fallen in love with the exact type of man she’d sworn to stay away from since childhood. Whether she lost him now or watched him walk away later, both methods of losing him would be like having her heart ripped from her chest. Turning back time was the only way to ensure a different ending, and even if it were possible, she wasn’t sure she’d do it. Not if it meant never having him be a part of her life in the first place.
Their tongues pillaged and plundered, hands gripped and kneaded. Rafe trailed his palms up her torso. By the time his fingers locked into the depths of her hair, hot lava spilled through her veins.
“I want you to be damn sure about this,” Rafe growled against her neck. A soft nibble followed by a soothing flick of his tongue made her whimper.
“I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life. I know what I’m getting myself into, and I’m prepared to deal with the fallout later.” Her heart teetered on its side with the half-truth. She wasn’t so sure she’d ever be able to deal with the possibility of not having him in her life. Even the idea of it made her heart throb so hard it hurt to breathe. “Make love to me, Rafe. Right here and now.”