Heat Wave

“I’m afraid that’s all I got,” he says, slipping on his shades and flashing me a wicked grin. Even though the sun will be going down in an hour, there’s still enough light to make everything soft and bright. It’s my favorite time of day, the lazy winding down toward dusk, and I put down the window to catch the smells of the taro fields and Hanalei River as we pass by, stand-up paddle boarders cruising down it and getting in one last jaunt before night.

The restaurant we go to is down on the east side, the coconut coast as they call it, just south of Kapa’a with the most gorgeous view of the beach and ocean. It puts the Ohana Lounge to shame.

We’re seated at a private table, located closest to the shore, framed by wavering tiki torches. Even though it’s the east coast, the sunset here doesn’t fail to be spectacular, the sky slowly turning cotton candy pink and lush coral, the waves reflecting the metallic pastels.

And then, just after we place our order with the waiter, it happens.

“Look,” Logan cries out softly, grabbing my hand. I follow his gaze to the horizon where the water looks foamy, just in time to see a massive humpback whale breech clear out of the water.

Oh my god.

The whale lands with a heavy splash, so close we can hear it from where we are. The water explodes around it like someone dropped a bomb and sprays for what seems like ever, just as two other whales appear, spouting as they get breath from the surface.

Now everyone in the restaurant is noticing, some of them clapping, others taking pictures.

But for me, it’s just Logan’s hand in mine as we watch one of the most spectacular sights I’ve ever seen. We barely notice the drinks as they arrive, or our poke chips appetizer, and for the next twenty-minutes as the sky darkens from rose gold to purple to navy blue and the last splashes of the whales disappear, I’m enthralled, so much so that my heart feels like it’s being stirred until my chest is heavy with a million different emotions.

“Ron,” Logan whispers to me, squeezing my hand. “What’s wrong?”

I look at him and try to smile and it’s only then that I realize that I’m crying. I quickly wipe away the tear, trying to wrestle with everything inside.

“It’s okay,” he says softly, raising my hand up to kiss the back of it, his eyes never leaving mine. “I’ve got you.”

And I know he does. That’s why it’s all so much to handle.

I take in a deep, shaking breath, and try to explain. “One of my best memories of Juliet was when she was ten years old and wanted to be a marine biologist. She was so obsessed with the whales, especially the humpbacks, and I become obsessed too. Because I wanted to be like her. And for a short time, she liked that. We finally had something in common.” My throat is thick as I try to swallow. “She of course moved on and forgot about it and went onto something else and we never had that connection again. But then I see the dolphin doormat at your house and the pictures of whales in the bathroom, and the wood carvings of them in the backyard and I know that was all her doing…she still loved them.”

He nods slowly, his own eyes looking wet. “She did. She loved to collect them. And she would get just as excited about them as you did right now.”

“So I just…we saw these whales, like they were meant for us, you know? And I wonder in some ways if that’s…her? I know it sounds dumb but…I feel like maybe she knows about us. About this. And maybe this is her way of saying she’s okay.” Another tear falls from my eyes, darkening the top of my dress. “Maybe she even approves.”

Logan squeezes my hand harder. “Aumakua,” he says quietly. I sniff and give him a curious look. “Hawaiians believe that when someone passes on, their spirit can live on as an aumakua, or guardian. Johnny would be the first to tell you that what you felt was Juliet in the form of that whale.”

“And you? Did you feel anything?”

He gives me a kind smile. “I feel Juliet all the time around me. It’s neither good or bad. She’s just there, maybe in that dolphin doormat or the curtains she picked out for the hotel rooms or when a certain song comes on. She’s never going anywhere, Ron, and that’s a good thing. If you felt that was her in those whales out there, then I’m sure it was her. This island is a magical place and I’ve seen some pretty special things happen here. You feel it in the air, in the ocean, in every sunset and sunrise. But more than that…I think this is a sign for us to stop being afraid.”

I rub my lips together, taking in a deep breath. “I’m not afraid,” I tell him.

“You are,” he says. “And that’s okay. I’m afraid too. Deep down. About what the world will say. But in the end, it’s not going to matter. The only thing that matters is us. I don’t want to hide us anymore. Veronica, I want you. I want all of you. All the time, every day, until the end. I want to tell the world just how much you mean to me because you are my world.”