Heat Wave

Since I have the morning and afternoon free, I decide to Facetime with Claire for a bit (I purposely steer the conversation away from Logan), then I head to the Limahuli Gardens by myself. It’s located between the hotel and Ke’e Beach, and one of the places I’ve always wanted to go. And today I don’t want to be at the hotel at all and I don’t want the company. I’d rather be alone with my blackened thoughts.

The gardens are lovely and set high on the hills, cutting back into the sharp mountains of the interior. There are a few tourists here but it’s nice to actually be able to watch them. Some of them are families taking in the flora and fauna of the island, from macadamia nut bushes to coffee plants and taro. The kids shriek and run around while the parents either laugh or chastise them for disturbing people, but no matter the reaction, the fact that they’re a family remains.

I never had that. And Johnny’s words from last night come cutting into my brain. The crew at Moonwater Inn is my family now. Maybe not by blood, but by choice. And that has to count for a lot more. They’ve embraced me whole-heartedly, flaws and all, and they like me, not because they have to but because they want to.

And that’s why Logan and I could never work out. Because the moment you start sleeping with the boss, that’s the moment you put everything else at risk. Even if everyone could somehow get past the morally deplorable part of the arrangement, there’s that cold fact again that I would be fucking the one in charge and if shit hit the fan? Well I’d be out of a job. It wouldn’t matter our bonds, I wouldn’t keep working here. I’d be on the next plane back to Chicago.

I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to give up everything I’ve worked so hard for here. I don’t want to fuck up like I’ve fucked up before.

Even if it means shutting down the attraction I have for Logan, the feelings I’ve acquired, I have to do it for the sake of my new life.

Fuck, it’s not fair. But I should be used to that, too.

When I’m done at the gardens, I head across to Haena Beach and then walk back to the hotel along the shore, ready to face my new decision.

And the first thing I have to do is find Logan.

Of course, now that I’m actually looking for him, I can’t find him. He’s nowhere to be found during the day, and no one seems to know where he went. Only Daniel thinks he might be in Hanalei at Tahiti Nui but I’m just about to start my shift, so there’s no way I can verify it until afterward.

“Charlie,” I say at closing, as the two of us are washing up over the sink and Johnny starts turning off the restaurant lights. “Can you do me a favor and drive me to Hanalei?”

He looks both relieved and surprised. I bet he thought I was going to ask him about Kate. “What, now? Sure.” He pauses. “With me? You want to grab a drink?”

I think that over. Charlie wasn’t part of my plan but maybe it would be a bit weird—and definitely out of character—for me to have him drop me off. “Yeah, at Tahiti Nui,” I tell him. “I just feel like getting out of here.” I pause. “You think Kate will mind?”

He narrows his eyes at me. “If this is all a rouse to get me to talk about Kate, you can forget about it, sweet thing.”

“Not a rouse,” I tell him. “Your business is your business.”

“All right then,” he says warily.

It’s not long before we’re finding a parking spot in Hanalei. It’s late, so aside from Tahiti Nui and the bar beside it, everything has shut down for the evening. It’s kind of nice, actually. I love Hanalei—it’s the prettiest town on the island with the striking green mountains behind it and the smart-looking shops—but in the day it can get pretty busy.

Charlie and I head into Tahiti Nui, which has live music tonight in the form of a man and a guitar poised in the corner. It’s pretty crowded, considering it’s only open for another hour, but I manage to spot Logan sitting at the end of the bar, palming a beer.

“Hey it’s the habut,” Charlie says, looking over. “Should we say hi?”

I nudge the empty table beside us. “Sit here, I’ll go get us drinks.”

Charlie seems okay with that and takes a seat. “Are you paying?”

I sigh. “Yes. Just sit tight.”

Tahiti Nui is one of the cooler bars I’ve been too. It’s like a Tahitian dive bar, except it’s not dirty or gross. The locals love it here and it has a really laid-back vibe and a lot of history within the thatched walls. Lots of celebrity’s pictures are on the walls, including George Clooney’s, since scenes of The Descendants were shot in here. Plus, their pizzas are to die for.

I’m practically in Logan’s face before he even notices me, and when he does he barely moves. Just keeps his elbows on the table and side-eyes me.

“What are you doing here?” he asks flatly before taking a sip of his beer.

“Looking for you,” I tell him, trying to take the edge out of my voice and failing.

“Why?” He says this in such an “I don’t give a shit” manner that I can feel my blood pressure rising. I’m going to need a drink, stat.