“I guess I’ve been out of the loop a while.” Finn clears his throat, looking seriously uncomfortable. I could put him out of his misery and clear this up right now, but I have to admit, it’s pretty fun watching him squirm.
“A lot’s happened since you left.” I say pleasantly. Kit’s wailing goes up another level, and I turn back to him. “Shh, it’s OK.”
“Let me.” Before I can protest, Finn lifts Kit out of my arms, and expertly places him against his shoulder, bouncing gently on the spot. To my amazement, Kit calms.
“How did you…?”
“My tour manager had a newborn, so the whole family came on the road with us,” Finn explains. He keeps bouncing Kit. “It was ten guys and a little lady. We all learned how to change a diaper pretty fast.”
“They should make a movie,” I say faintly. I look at them – Finn, with a baby in his arms – and the loss hits me so hard, I can barely breathe.
The things I never told him. The things nobody knows.
Finn doesn’t notice my reaction. After another few moments bouncing, he sets Kit back in the stroller, now content and calm.
“He’s got your nose,” Finn remarks, studying Kit.
“It’s Lottie’s nose too,” I say, recovering. “She’s his mom, after all.”
He blinks. Realization dawns. “Oh. Oh, okay. Good. I mean, that he takes after her. It’s a good nose.” He clears his throat, awkward. Is it me, or does he look relieved?
I shouldn’t care. I don’t care.
“About last night,” I say, needing to make things clear. “It shouldn’t have happened.”
Finn’s gaze travels lazily up to meet mine. He arches an eyebrow. “Is that so?”
I flush. “We got carried away with… nostalgia. Old time’s sake. But it was wrong, and it won’t happen again.”
One kiss was bad enough. If it happens again, I know there’s no way in hell we won’t wind up in bed. Or a backseat. Or anyplace I can get my hands on him. So I cross my arms firmly and try to stare him down, but Finn just gives me that bourbon smile – dangerously sweet and intoxicating. “Are you afraid I’ll do it again?” he asks.
My heart lurches just thinking about another kiss.
“Or…” he muses, stepping closer. “Are you afraid you’ll like it?”
I can feel it again, the heat rising, burning at the edges of all my good sense and determination. I want to argue, to tell him to stay away from me, but deep down, I know he’s right.
I would like it. Too much.
Finn smiles, as if he can tell how he’s affecting me, but just before he can prove himself right, his cell phone rings. It breaks through the moment with its loud, insistent ring.
Finn laughs. “Saved by the bell, sweetheart,” he says, stepping back. I don’t need another invitation. I steer the stroller around and head quickly back towards town, leaving Finn there on the boardwalk all alone.
Six.
FINN.
I watch her walk away, hips swaying and sunlight catching in her hair. I thought after all this time it would be different, that things might have changed. But just the sight of her hits me in the chest like a goddamn bullet, same as the very first day. The best thing I’ve ever done and my biggest regret, all wrapped up in one heart-stopping package.
Eva.
She pauses by the pier to lean over the stroller with her nephew, lifting him out and swinging him in the air. I can see it now, how much he looks like Lottie. But I swear, the world nearly dropped out when I thought he might be hers. I knew she would have moved on - hell, we both should have by now – but there’s a difference between knowing something in theory, and being faced with her gorgeous, lush body and imagining it under some other guy’s hands.
Not on my watch. Every second I spend with her is a battle not to yank her closer and kiss her until she’s gasping for more. Last night I came close, damn, so close to taking her straight to bed. Now I wonder if I was a fool not to take that chance when I had it.
She wants me, and fuck if I don’t need her more than ever.
My cell phone keeps ringing, so I finally turn away from the past and answer. “Kyle, what part of ‘vacation’ don’t you understand?”
“Man, you’re going to want to get on a plane and come right back when you hear what I’ve got lined up for you.” My manager sounds pumped, but then he always does. Kyle is two parts Jerry Maguire, and one part your annoying kid brother who just won’t quit. But he’s the best in the business, the one who took a chance on me from the start.
“I’m not interested,” I try to interrupt, but Kyle keeps steamrolling.
“SNL, baby!” he whoops. “They want you as the musical guest this weekend!”
I take a breath. Saturday Night Live? It’s a big deal, the kind any musician would kill for. Millions of viewers, a guaranteed boost in sales. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned on the road, it’s that there are some things more important than another number one hit.
Like the girl in the cut-offs walking away from me, her tanned legs making me crazy for just a single touch.