I LAY ON HUNTER’S CHEST and felt his sweat on my cheek. I opened my eyes and looked down his whole body. His perfect abs, his muscular legs, the way his thick cock draped over his left thigh. Every inch of him glistened in our sweat and I ran my hand over him as I lay there in his arms. There was no comparison to the feeling he gave me. I had never touched a drug in my entire life, but I can only assume this was what people went through. I was a true addict. I needed him, his touch. When it happened, I couldn’t think of anything else, and as soon as it was over, I wished it would start again. Even as we lay there, I wanted it again. I wanted more. I could feel my head moving up and down with every rise and fall of his chest and I buried myself deeper into him. Close was not close enough for us, and as I pushed my body into his, he only held me tighter. I felt like I was about to laugh and cry at the same time. Maybe this was what earth shattering orgasms did to a person. Whatever it was, I had never felt it before and I knew I would never feel it with anyone other than him.
“Fuck me, Kelly,” he panted as he slid his body out from under me and sat on the side of the bed. “You are fucking incredible.”
He was looking over his shoulder and smiling at me. It was a rare sight and it made me tingle from my head to my toes.
“So, Hunter, what do we do now?” I asked as I rolled on my side and rested my head on my hand.
“Well, I’ve got about five minutes before I need to fuck you again, so I guess I better find your brother some other bullshit job.”
“Hunter Donnelly. Was that a joke?”
He slid into his jeans and jumped as he pulled them up onto his body.
“Yeah, but don’t fucking tell anyone, all right? I’ve got an image to keep up.”
He did have an image. I could see the silhouette of his body standing in front of the window as he looked down on me. Every sharp angle on his massive frame blocked out the sun where he stood. He pushed his hands through his hair and slicked it out of his face. I could feel myself trembling again and shut my eyes, trying to stop it.
“You know what I mean, Hunter. How does this end?”
He sighed as he jammed his feet into his boots and buckled his belt around the tight V that sat below his abs. I wanted to have a conversation with him, but my eyes lured my brain away into thoughts of pure lust.
“It doesn’t, Kelly.”
Any humor in his voice disappeared as he walked to the corner of the room, picked up his bag, and dropped it on the top of the dresser. I heard him undo the zipper and saw him start to unpack what was inside. I felt my stomach drop.
He pulled out a pistol, jammed a clip into it, and cocked it before setting it down on the table. Next came a knife that he jammed into a leather holster and strapped to his leg. He looked at me as he came back up and made no apologies.
“This doesn’t fucking end. Ever. Even if, even when my old man finds us and I put that fucker in the ground. There is no doubt in my mind someone else will come. They’re going to keep coming and they will keep dying, but make no mistake, darling, they will keep coming.”
He crossed his arms and leaned back on the dresser.
“This is my life, Kelly. And now it’s yours too.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes, putting one to his lips and lighting it.
I suddenly felt overwhelmed by the reality of it all.
“So how are you so calm?” I said, my voice rising more than I’d intended. “How? How can you just sit there? Shouldn’t we be?”
“Shouldn’t we be what, Kelly?” he interrupted. “Like I said, this is my life. There’s nothing I can fucking do about it other than enjoy whatever time I have left as best I can.”
I sat up and the gravity finally hit me.
“We can’t stay here, can we? We can’t stay anywhere.”
Hunter walked over to me and sat on the edge of the bed.
“We can stay here tonight. But if you’re looking for answers past that, sweetheart, well, I just don’t fucking have them.”
He put his hand in my hair and slid it down the side of my face.
“I’m so confused, Hunter. I just don’t know what I’m doing,” I said as I leaned my head into his hand.
“Yeah, well, I’m glad I’m not the only one,” he sighed as he took a deep drag off his cigarette. “Kelly, these last couple of days, these last few weeks, my world has fucking flipped upside down. I tried to stop it. I tried to outrun who I was and fight what was happening, but it was no fucking use. I am who I am and I can’t change that shit. I don’t want to. But I also know that I can’t fucking shake you. I tried. Goddamn you, I tried.”
He stood up and walked to the dresser and pulled out a bottle, “but it’s no fucking use. There is no old me or new me. There’s just fucking me and part of that means having you. Do you fucking get that?”