Elle wanted to believe her, but when she looked at Grace, she was shaking her head.
“Don’t take it too hard,” Grace said. “He was a bright flash, that’s all. He was here for a few days to brighten up your life, and maybe he’ll be back again, or maybe he won’t. Either way, it wouldn’t make any sense for you to let it get you down, child. Try to think of the nice time you had with him.”
“The nice time I had with him?”
“A fling, child.”
“It wasn’t a fling,” Elle said, tears choking her voice.
“I’m not saying for sure that it was,” Grace said. “Maybe he’ll be right back. I’m just saying, if he doesn’t come back, try not to let it break your heart.”
Elle was shaking her head. She looked at Kelly, and when she saw the compassion in Kelly’s eyes, she understood. They were consoling her. They were already trying to console her and make it better. They thought Forrester wasn’t coming back.
And they were probably right.
“He said he loved me,” Elle said, feeling pathetic.
“Men often say things like that without realizing what it means,” Grace said.
“He said he wanted a future with me.”
Kelly and Grace put their arms around her as the tears fell over her cheeks. She was heartbroken. Whatever Grace might try to tell her about being brave and not letting her emotions get out of control, she was heartbroken. If Forrester didn’t come back, she would die. That’s what she felt, and that’s what she believed.
“He was right outside,” Elle said, her voice a high-pitched wail.
“He was, but he left,” Grace said.
“Why? Why did he change his mind. Why did he change his mind about me? What did I do wrong?”
“You did nothing wrong, child.”
“He said he wanted a baby,” Elle said, her voice almost inaudible from anguish. “He said he wanted me to give him a baby, and we made love without protection,” Elle said. “I know it was very fast, I know we’d only just met, but I really felt a connection with him. I thought it was the real thing. I wanted to give him a baby.”
“Shush now,” Grace said soothingly.
Elle’s mind was overpowered with grief. She couldn’t think straight. All she could do was sit on the bench and cry, her small body shaking with anguish. She couldn’t have been more upset if someone had died. To her, this was death. The pain was as intense as any death.
“I was a fool,” she said, and she didn’t even know if she believed her own words or not.
Forrester said he’d be back. She was overreacting. But he’d said he’d be there for breakfast. It was almost eleven at night. The day was over, he’d checked out of his hotel, and he hadn’t even said goodbye.
She looked into Grace and Kelly’s faces and decided to tell them something she’d never told anyone.
“My own mother couldn’t love me,” she said.
“What?” Grace said. Kelly’s mouth opened in surprise.
“No one will ever love me. It’s my curse. I know it’s true. I try not to give in to my fears, I try to stay positive and be brave, I try not to feel sorry for myself, but sometimes, I really honestly fear that I’m cursed never to be loved. My own parents never loved me. Why the hell would a guy as amazing as Forrester?”
Chapter 28
Forrester
WHEN FORRESTER LEFT THE DINER parking lot that morning, his only intention was to go back to the hotel and regain his composure. He’d clear his mind, gather himself, and go straight back to the diner to meet Elle as promised.
But Forrester never made it to the hotel. He pulled out onto the street. Despite what the letter had said, he was still more certain of Elle than he’d ever been of anything. He wanted her, he wanted to create a family with her. He didn’t care what an old man’s letter said. Sure, it hurt, but he was a man now. He could rise above it.
That’s what he was thinking when he came to a stop at the intersection. There was no traffic. He waited for the light to turn green. He saw a group of guys walking down the sidewalk and recognized them as Phil and his cronies, the troublemakers he’d taken care of more than once.
Then he saw in his rearview mirror, a big black Camaro approaching down the street. The car must have been doing at least fifty. It was much too fast. Forrester kept his eye on it, waiting for it to slow down, but it didn’t.
He knew enough to see what was going to happen. The car was going to ram into the back of him. He put his foot on the gas and ran the red light, then he picked up speed as he drove down the street toward his hotel. He made it about half way before the Camaro rammed into the back of his truck. The impact caused him to spin out and slam into a fire hydrant.
“What the fuck?” Forrester said to himself when the truck came to a halt. He was dizzy. There was a ringing in his ears.