“You look like news,” Rob said. “You look like the cover of a fashion magazine.”
Despite everything, the fear I’d felt in the car, the helplessness at not having my things, the betrayal at being tricked into dressing up like this, I smiled. And it was a genuine smile. I was excited at the prospect of being news, of being a celebrity, no matter how small.
“You like that, don’t you?” Rob said, his hand on my ass again, as he guided me through the crowd of people.
I nodded.
“Well, do exactly what I say, when I say it, and I’ll make you a star, sweetheart.”
I followed him past the bar and up some steps to the VIP area. An attendant opened a rope barrier for us and brought us to a large, round table where some guys who I assumed were Rob’s friends were sitting with beautiful women.
“Everyone, meet Lacey,” Rob said with a flourish. “Lacey, meet everyone.”
I smiled at the people around the table. The men all looked friendly enough. The women eyed me like I was their competition. There were magnums of champagne in ice buckets on the table and one of Rob’s friends, a guy with a short beard and goatee, poured me a glass. I sat next to him on the low, leather sofa. Rob sat next to me and put his arm around me like I was his trophy.
The friend with the goatee immediately began ignoring his date, a beautiful looking blonde half my age, and started hitting on me, right in front of Rob.
“So, what’s your deal, darling?”
“My deal?”
“You know? What are you into?”
I wasn’t sure what to say. I had a wine buying business with Faith that I was incredibly proud of, but dressed the way I was, I felt as if I was playing a role. Owning a business didn’t feel like it would fit in that role.
“All sorts of things,” I said.
“Oh yeah, like threesomes?”
I turned to look at Rob, to see if he was listening. He’d heard everything the man said, and was just watching and smiling, as if it was completely normal.
I turned back to the man.
“No, not particularly.”
He shook his head. “Shame, baby. You, me, and Dolly here could have had a really nice time.”
“I’m here with Rob,” I said.
“I bet you are,” the guy said.
I turned to Rob again.
“What the hell, Duke?” Rob said.
Duke wasn’t put off in the least. He put his hand on my thigh, right in front of Rob. I pushed it off and crossed my legs. Rob saw but didn’t say anything to the guy. He just put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him.
“Don’t worry about Duke,” he said. “He’s just playing.”
Despite having severely mixed feelings about Rob, I found myself clinging to him tightly. “Well, I don’t like his game,” I said into Rob’s ear.
Rob leaned toward me, put his mouth on mine, and began kissing me passionately. His tongue found its way into mine and before I knew it, I was leaning into him, straining to get as close to him as possible and as far from Duke’s hands as possible. It didn’t help. Even while I was kissing Rob, Duke’s hand kept stroking my thigh. I pushed it off but somehow, even with his own date sitting right there, it kept finding it’s way back onto my leg.
I was making out heavily with Rob, but I honestly couldn’t tell you if it was because I was enjoying it, or because I was scared that if I stopped, Duke would think he could move in on me.
I whispered to Rob between kisses, “Let’s get out of here.”
He put his hand on my thigh and I was shocked to see that both his hand and Duke’s were on my legs at the same time. Rob knew, and he liked it.
“Not yet, baby,” he said.
*
I’M GOING TO ASK YOU right now, what would you have done in my position? I mean, there were so many emotions and conflicting thoughts running through my mind. My head was spinning at a million miles an hour.
Should I play along? I’m not ashamed to admit I really, really wanted a boyfriend. I wanted a relationship that I could count on, I wanted to know I had someone to spend time with, and be affectionate with. Even though Rob had done a lot of things wrong, he was still an eligible guy. He was rich and successful, he had his own business, it looked like he liked to have fun. If I played along, I would probably have him as a boyfriend and I’d no longer be going to bed alone every night.
But even as I thought about the supposed advantages of letting Rob treat me however he wanted, I already knew it wasn’t the right decision.
I mean, what was the advantage? I wanted a boyfriend, but why did I want one? So that I could feel loved? So that I could feel secure? So that I could feel accepted for the person I was and the person I was aspiring to be?
Rob didn’t treat me like that. He didn’t make me feel loved, he made me feel inadequate. He wasn’t offering to love me for the person I was, he was only going to love me if I allowed his professional makeup assistants to transform me into someone completely different.