We were alone in the parking lot. No one else was up there. It was a really beautiful evening.
“Okay, Sam,” I said, facing him. “I’m going to show you how to look after yourself.”
“All right,” he said, raising his dukes as if we were about to start a boxing lesson.
I smiled. “There’s a secret language that exists, and if you can speak that language, no man will ever give you trouble.”
“No one?”
“Well, way less people. If you know how to speak this language, you’ll be able to avoid ninety-nine percent of issues you might get into with other men.”
“Am I a man?” he said.
I nodded. “You’re a man, Sam. And you want to set yourself up so that other men know who you are, know what you stand for, and respect you. If you can do that, you won’t have any trouble from them.”
“I won’t have trouble with anyone?”
I laughed. “Oh, you’ll have trouble, but it will mostly come from women. And let me tell you, that sort of trouble is far more dangerous than what any man can do to you. But you don’t have to worry about that for a few years, yet. Right now, your trouble is with these punks in your school, am I right?”
“Yes.”
“So the first thing you have to do, is hold yourself tall.”
I stood up straight to show him. “See me. Shoulders back, head straight up, chest forward.”
He stood up straight. “Like this?”
“Perfect,” I said. “Now take in a deep breath.”
He took in a deep breath.
“You see how that makes you feel? Like you’re taller, stronger, ready for action?”
He nodded.
“The way you feel is crucial. If you feel strong, people will notice. If you feel weak, people will pick up on that too.”
“So feel strong?”
“Exactly. Believe in yourself. Believe that no one can hurt you. Because, the truth is, Sam, no one can hurt you. The only person who can hurt you is yourself. Other kids might hit you, but you’re the one who decides if that’s a problem or not.”
“It’s a problem,” he said.
I laughed. “Only if you think it is, buddy.”
He looked confused.
“Look,” I said. “All your life, people are going to do shit to you that you don’t like. Your boss is going to ride your ass. The government is going to charge you taxes. The cops are going to pull you over. Your old lady is going to break your balls.”
He nodded.
“You can’t stop all of them from doing what they’re going to do. That’s beyond your control. The only thing you control is your reaction to it. Strength, courage, a steady hand, all of those things come from within yourself. They come from your mind, not your environment.”
He nodded.
“So once you’re centered, once you know who you are, where you stand, and how you feel about all the shit that’s going on in the world, you’re already there. You’re already safe.”
“Really?”
“Basically. The only thing left is to make sure that all the other guys around you know it.”
“Know what?”
“Know that you’re steady. Know that you’re centered, strong, sure of yourself.”
“How do I make them know that?”
“One word, Sammy boy.”
“What is it?”
“Attitude. It’s all in the attitude. You get the attitude right, and you’ll never have to get in another fight in your life.”
He nodded. He was taking it all in. I knew he was. It was basic stuff, stuff he’d learn on his own given time, but it was also stuff I wished someone had told me when I was his age. I’d spent my entire life getting into fights, and they’d cost me dearly. They’d cost me twelve years. It was only with years of experience that I realized if I played the attitude card right, I wouldn’t have to get into all the fights.
“And what if it doesn’t work?” he said.
I nodded. “You’re right, Sam. Sometimes it won’t work.”
“So what then?”
I shrugged. “That’s when you’ve got to kick someone’s ass.”
He laughed.
“Come on, buddy. Let’s get you down to that vineyard. I’ll show you around.”
We got back in the truck and made our way out of the expensive neighborhood he lived in, down into the valley. As we pulled down the driveway of my daddy’s farm, I felt as if my life had come full circle. I was back where I’d started, only this time, I had my boy with me.
I showed him around. Showed him the vines, how they grew. Told him their history, how our forefathers had taken them over on boats from the old country. I showed him the house. He said he’d help me fix it up and I made him promise not to tell his mother about it. I wanted to surprise her with it.
The brothers weren’t around so it was just the two of us.
Afterwards, I brought him home.
I pulled into a gas station on the way. “Go wash your face,” I said. “We don’t want your mom seeing that blood. She’ll never let me pick you up again.”
He touched his face. There was a little dried blood from where the bullies had hit him.
“You’ll remember what I told you?”