Suddenly, out of nowhere, Sam said one of those things I completely didn’t expect.
“I have no dad,” he said.
My eyes widened. I didn’t know what possessed him to bring that up. I looked to Jackson but he didn’t miss a beat.
“I hear that, kid,” he said. “I don’t have a daddy either. Not anymore.”
“Your dad died?” Sam said.
“Yes, sir. Not to speak ill of the dead, but he probably deserved it. You know the ravine bridge when you’re coming up from the city? The one that seems like the perfect place to do some bungee jumping.”
Sam’s eyes lit up with recognition. “I know that bridge.”
“My daddy crashed right over the edge of that thing. The explosion could be seen from the valley dam.”
“No way.”
“Yup. So if you want some advice from me, be very careful when you’re driving a car. It’s the single most dangerous thing you’ll ever do in your life. Even if you smoke. Even if you join the army. It’ll be your car that kills you if you’re not careful.”
“Good advice,” I said.
“Especially don’t drink and drive. Next time you’re drinking, call your mom, or call me. Don’t get behind the wheel.”
Sam laughed. I looked at Jackson but he was kidding. He laughed too. “I’m messing with you, kid. I’m messing with him,” he said, looking at me. “I know he’s too young to drink.”
“And too young to drive,” I said.
“Not for long though, right buddy?” Jackson said.
Sam nodded. He’d been too busy listening to Jackson to eat his ice cream. Jackson’s was all gone.
“Voila!” Jackson said. “Told you I’d finish first.”
“Oh man,” Sam said, slapping his forehead.
“See, man. I distracted you. Asking you all those questions. You’ve got to be on the lookout for that shit. You can’t be letting people pull the wool over your eyes.”
“I know,” Sam said, shaking his head. “Damn.”
“Sam Jones,” I said. “We don’t use words like that.”
“He did,” Sam said, indicating Jackson.
Jackson shrugged. “Old habits die hard,” he said.
Sam laughed, as if that somehow justified him.
To me, the whole thing was amazing. Sam was actually listening to every word Jackson said. If he’d had a pen and paper, he’d have taken notes. I could tell my little boy had been starved for this kind of attention his entire life. Jackson wasn’t just a man, he was a man’s man. There’s a difference. And that difference seemed to mean the entire world to my little boy.
I was enjoying sitting there but it was past nine and Sam had to get to bed. I wasn’t sure what Jackson had in mind. Had he really just been stopping by for an ice cream, or had he been stalking me? To be honest, I hoped he’d been stalking me.
Chapter 40
Jackson
HOW CAN I DESCRIBE THE feeling of meeting my son for the first time? It’s impossible. It’s like asking someone to describe the first time they saw the sunrise, or the first time they felt love so deeply it hurt.
I looked across the table at Faith. Jesus, my heart was burning for her. She was out of this world. To say I craved her would be a tragic understatement. I longed to feel her body against mine, the warmth of her breasts, the sweet wetness of her *.
I almost felt guilty. I was sitting next to my son for the first time in my life, and my mind was obsessed with filling his mommy with my semen.
“Faith,” I said.
“Yes.”
“I had a really nice time last night.”
She looked at me and then away. She was still shy after all we’d been through. It was the most adorable thing in the world. I wanted to see her again. I was dying for her.
“Me too,” she said.
I put twenty bucks on the table for the ice creams and Faith’s coffee.
“You don’t have to pay,” she said.
“Of course I do.”
“Well,” she said, straightening her dress. “It’s been really nice bumping into you. I’m sure Sam had a nice time chatting.”
Sam nodded. What a great kid. He was a gift, a gift Faith had given me. I’d never be able to thank her for it. But I could try.
Right there and then, I decided that there were a million things I could do to repay both of them. I owed them. I’d been gone for so long. I’d missed so much. But it wasn’t too late to make it up. I could dedicate my life to repaying Faith for the gift she’d given me—the most beautiful son in the world. I’d live my life for her. I’d spent years securing her safety, now I would secure her happiness, her joy, her ecstasy.
“I had a nice time too,” I said.
“I’d better get him home. It’s past his bedtime.”
I looked at my watch. “Shit. It’s past mine too.”
Sam laughed.
I watched her take Sam’s hand and walk to the door. I didn’t want her to leave.
What could I do to get more time with her?