Heart-Shaped Hack

Frantically, Kate raked the biggest mound of bubbles—which were down by her feet and doing her no good at all—toward her chest. “Get out! Get out, get out, get out!”


He smiled and said, “I’m going. Now that I know you’re okay, I’ll just start the coffee. Please do carry on with whatever it was you were about to do.”



Once Kate had dried off and dressed in her comfiest sweats, she stomped into the living room and stood in front of Ian, who was sitting on the couch drinking coffee and typing on his laptop.

“Repeat after me: I, Ian.”

“I, Ian.”

“Will never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever walk in on Kate in the bathroom again unless specifically invited to do so.”

“Will never ever, ever—how many evers was that?”

“Ever, infinity.”

“Ever, infinity, walk in on Katie in the bathroom again unless specifically invited to do so.” Ian took a drink of his coffee. “I feel like that last part means the possibility of a future invitation exists, which is encouraging.”

He handed Kate a mug of steaming dark roast, and she sat down beside him.

When he started to speak, she held up her hand. “I have not had enough coffee to deal with you yet.”

Ian turned his attention back to his laptop and waited until Kate took the last drink from her mug.

“You know that saying, ‘Act now, apologize later?’ I’m pretty much the poster boy.”

Kate looked at Ian. “You think?”

“I’m truly sorry. Is there anything I can do to make us even?”

“Well, I’d threaten to walk in on you in the shower, but we both know how that would turn out.” Kate handed her empty mug to Ian, who wisely returned to the kitchen to refill it.

When he came back with her coffee, she said, “I thought you left after you put me to bed.”

“First of all, I can’t lock your door from the outside without a key, and there’s no way I’d let you sleep in an unsecured apartment. Second, what kind of man would leave a woman alone when she was in such rough shape? I was worried. I even checked on you in the middle of the night. You were a hot, snoring, drooling mess, but other than that you seemed okay.”

“I did tell you yesterday that I wasn’t feeling especially pretty.”

“Even when you’re sick, you’re a solid eight point five.”

“How very sweet in a completely sexist way.”

“When you’re not sick you’re an eleven.”

She took a drink of her coffee to hide her smile. Ian walked over to the fireplace, crouched down, and began stacking logs. When the fire crackled to life, Kate wished her nose wasn’t so stuffy because the wood-burning fireplace was one of the things she loved most about her apartment. The fireplace in her and Stuart’s apartment had been gas, but in Kate’s opinion nothing compared to the real thing.

Ian stood up and brushed his hands together. “Who were you thinking about in the bathtub, Katie?” he asked, coming over to stand in front of her.

“How can you be so sure I was thinking of someone?”

“Your left nipple was noticeably erect, the image of which is now burned into my brain. Therefore I deduced there might have been a man on your mind.”

Her body temperature spiked suddenly, and it had nothing to do with a fever. “A girl needs to be able to keep some secrets from you.”

“Well, he’s a lucky man, whoever he is.” He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

“I said no kissing!”

“Oh, relax. I’m going home to shower and pick up some food. Don’t get off this couch.” He jingled his car keys, threw on his coat, and said, “Back soon.”



He returned an hour later, hair damp, wearing sweatpants and a long-sleeve T-shirt, which made him look especially cuddly to Kate. He was holding two large carryout bags. The sky had darkened even though it was only half past noon, and large white flakes were swirling through the air.

“First snowfall,” Kate said. “We’re supposed to get six inches.”

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