“Sorry I took up so much of Havoc’s time,” Yvette said to me four hours later. They’d just finished going through everything. Havoc had left us so he could take a call from J outside.
“No worries. I did some work and got some awesome ideas so it was good that you guys took all that time.”
She smiled. It was the first time I’d ever seen her smile. “I love that Havoc has deviated from his usual type with you. I think you’re good for him.”
“What’s his usual type?” Kelly had mentioned this too and I’d been wondering about it ever since.
“He used to always go for blondes with big boobs and hips. You know the type, shallow with no brain cells to speak of. Most of them disliked me and gave him hell for spending time with me. You’re so easy going and encourage him to be with his family. It’s a nice change.”
I suddenly felt inadequate. I had no hips or curves to speak of and my boobs were tiny. And he liked blondes?
I twirled my hair as my throat turned dry.
Why did he even look twice at me?
All my insecurities rushed to the front of my mind. Havoc had never said or done anything to make me question his attraction, but I had confidence issues around being rejected that stemmed from feeling unwanted by my father and being cheated on repeatedly. I’d had counselling sessions over this so I knew where the insecurity came from. As much as I’d tried, though, I’d never been able to permanently kick it to the kerb.
It was all well and good to tell myself to get the fuck over shit, but my mind could be a neurotic bitch over some things and this was one of them. Which sucked, because mostly I was tough as nails. I hated that I struggled with this.
Havoc joined us while I turned all this new information over in my mind. He reached for me and pulled me close with his arm around my waist. “You good?”
“Yes. Why?” I wasn’t good, but he didn’t need to know that. I needed some time to think.
He frowned. “You don’t look okay. You look like you’ve just found out someone died or something bad like that.”
I forced a smile. “No, really, I’m okay.”
His gaze didn’t move from me for a good few moments.
In the end, Yvette interrupted, “I’m out of here, people. I’ve got a hot date and I can’t be late. She’s promised me se—”
Havoc cut her off. “We get the picture, sis.”
She turned to me. “He’s such a prude when it comes to lesbian sex.”
He scowled. “Fuck. If it concerns my sister, I don’t need to know. Other than that, I’m all about women all over each other.”
Yvette muttered something about him being a prude again and then she left us.
And I was left with a whole lot of questions and insecurities.
30
Havoc
I stared at my bike, savouring the rush I’d felt for the first time in four weeks. The doctor had finally given me clearance to take the bike out and it had felt fucking good to be back on it. Life was finally starting to get back to normal.
Well, as normal as possible considering everything had changed in the last month. I was still living with Dad, helping him get his shit together. He was doing well and I was finally convinced he’d turned a corner. Carla was back living at her mother’s house. We saw each other every day. I couldn’t go a day without having her and I’d spent many hours thinking about our future together. Her life was in Brisbane and as much as I tried to talk myself into putting down roots again, I hadn’t been able to come to a final decision. The open road called; my heart lived there. Trouble was, it also lived with Carla and I knew that when we finally had this conversation, I’d choose her over the open road if need be. I just hoped our relationship could survive that choice.
I headed inside and jumped straight in the shower. Carla was on her way over and we were going out for drinks at the clubhouse.
As I turned the shower off, I heard Carla’s voice. She was talking with Dad, so I wrapped a towel around me and made my way out to the lounge room. I was reaching for the handle of my bedroom door when it turned and she opened it.
When she came into view, I halted and tried to process what I was seeing.
Blonde hair.
Boobs pushed up and out in a tight black dress.
Her staring at me waiting for my response.
“You dyed your hair.” It was fucking obvious so I wasn’t sure why I stated it, but I was at a loss for words.
“Yeah, do you like it?” The tone in her voice told me she desperately wanted me to like it. The vulnerability blazing from her eyes confirmed that. This wasn’t the Carla I knew, the one who would kick your ass for looking at her the wrong way.
I had to tread carefully here. “Darlin’, you could walk in here bald and I’d like it.”
Lines creased her forehead as she frowned. “You don’t like it?”