Dizziness circled my head and my legs threatened to give out on me.
He’s going to be okay.
He will pull through.
He has to.
My chest tightened with fear.
What if he doesn’t?
27
Carla
“Here, I got you coffee,” Nash said as he sat next to me and handed me a takeaway coffee.
“Thanks.”
After I took a sip, I stretched my back. The clock on the waiting room wall told me it was just after 5 a.m. We’d been at the hospital for about nine hours and I could hardly keep my eyes open. I didn’t want to sleep, though. I wanted to be awake when the nurse came to tell us he was conscious.
They’d allowed us in briefly once they had him settled in the ICU, but he’d been connected to tubes and had been sedated. He hadn’t looked like the strong, dominating man I knew, and it had thrown me. I’d visited loved ones in hospital before but seeing Havoc lying on that bed unconscious with all those tubes was too much. The knowledge he could die had slapped me in the face.
I wanted to rip those tubes out and shake him back to life.
I wanted to take back the invitation to dinner at my mum’s. If he hadn’t been there he would never have been stabbed.
I would have given anything to have him bossing me around again.
I’d been talking to God for the last few hours, promising all sorts of things if Havoc pulled through this. Hell, I’d even promised not to argue with everyone as much—something I knew I’d struggle with because arguing and me went together.
“You should think about heading home and getting some rest,” Nash said. He’d returned an hour earlier and had sent Velvet and Mum home to get some sleep. We still hadn’t heard from Havoc’s sister, which continued to concern me.
“No. I want to be here when he wakes up.”
“I know, but I can call you when he does and you can come straight back.”
I held his gaze. “I’m not leaving, Nash, so don’t keep on me about this, okay?”
He gave me the almost-scowl that he gave me when he was frustrated and nodded. “He better fuckin’ appreciate your concern for him.”
“A bit like yours, right?” He’d impressed me with the way he’d been at the hospital and taking care of club shit for Havoc. But I knew from the tone he’d just taken that he was still in denial about how he felt.
His almost-scowl morphed into a full scowl. “I’m here for you, not him.”
I was tired and over his issues. Sighing, I said, “Nash, you guys are club brothers. You’ve known him for years and had each other’s backs for as long. I don’t understand why you can’t get past this bullshit.”
“I don’t think you will ever understand the level of responsibility I feel for you, Carla. As far as I’m concerned, I’m gonna be looking out for you till the day I die. Any man who wants to be with you will have to jump through fuckin’ hoops to get my approval, because over my dead body will I allow another man to harm you the way our father has.”
His eyes held a depth of emotion I rarely saw from him and I reached for his hand. “One of these days you’re going to realise you get more with honey than vinegar, Nash Walker. I love you for looking out for me, and I know we will never stop pissing each other off, but I need to tell you that if you were to share your heart more like you just did rather than getting all bossy and assholey, we’d get along so much better.”
His eyes softened. “Assholey fits me better, babe.”
I swatted him. “Ask Velvet what she thinks. I’m sure she’ll agree with me.”
He grinned the trademark Nash grin. “I’m sure I could persuade her not to.”
I shook my head. My brother always had a way of making me smile and forgive his annoying ways.
He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. “If you won’t go home, I want you to put your head on my shoulder, close your eyes and get some sleep.” His eyes met mine and his grin was gone. “No arguments.”
“God, always so assholey,” I muttered, but I did as he said.
Weariness had claimed me and I knew I needed sleep, even if I didn’t want it.
“That’s because you’re always so damn argumentative. I bet Havoc would agree with me on that.”
I smiled.
He was softening; it would just take him some time to admit it.
* * *
Voices pulled me from a deep sleep and I blinked as I straightened.
“I’m Havoc’s sister, Yvette.”
I squinted. The sun streamed through the window of the waiting area straight into my eyes, obstructing my view of the woman speaking.
Nash removed his arm from my shoulders and stood. Extending his hand to her, he said, “Nash. We were wondering where you were.”