Fuck.
I knew I was being an asshole, but years of building my defences dictated my behaviour. Even though I’d told her I would, there was no fucking way I was screwing her on my bike. I refused to open those wounds inside my soul, and even thinking about it had scratched and burned those wounds. I’d been in preservation mode for the last couple of years and it was a place I liked. Taking a step outside of that wasn’t something I would even contemplate.
My words hurt her. I knew that by the look that flitted across her face. It had only been there for a moment before her usual mask of strength returned, but I’d seen it. Even the darkness couldn’t hide her bruise of pain.
A fleeting bruise I’d caused.
Jesus, why the fuck are you even thinking about this shit?
I pressed my fingers deeper inside her while at the same time, I circled her clit with my thumb. She was so damn wet and her pussy pulsed around my fingers; this wouldn’t take long.
Her orgasm hit and she was silent as it moved through her. She closed her eyes and bit her lip for a few moments before letting out a long breath. When she opened her eyes again, she held my gaze for a while before finally saying, “You can be an asshole, Havoc, but you sure do know your way around a pussy.”
With that, she gently pushed me out of her way before leaving to go back in the ladies' restroom. I stared after her for a beat. She confused the fuck out of me. Indecision rooted me to the spot.
I wanted her as far from me as possible in that moment. Yet, I didn’t want her anywhere else but with me.
You swore off women a long time ago for a good fucking reason.
Remember that the next time you’ve got your cock deep inside her and your head is a mess of bewilderment and need.
I headed into the restroom opposite to the one she entered so I could dispose of the condom. It was time to get my head together and remind myself this was just sex. Nothing more.
10
Carla
This is just sex.
I placed my hands on the basin and stared into the mirror of the dingy, little restroom. Havoc’s declaration that he would happily leave me at a bus stop reminded me not to let my heart take over from what my head told me to do. Not that I’d even realised it had, but as soon as those words had left his lips, I’d known I was in trouble. Disappointment had sliced through me at the ease with which he could switch between showing care and then nothing at all except a desire to fuck me.
You don’t want a biker, anyway.
Taking a deep breath, I straightened.
I definitely do not want a biker.
I just want some good sex until I find the right man for me.
And good God did Havoc know how to fuck. I’d never had sex as good.
Turning the tap on, I washed my hands and then my face. As I reached for some paper towels to dry off, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror again. I had that just-fucked glow, but lurking underneath, there was still a tinge of disappointment.
Shit.
“Carla.”
Havoc’s voice snapped me back to attention and I turned to find him staring at me from the doorway of the restroom.
When I didn’t reply, he continued. “We need to get going.”
His voice dripped with that gruff, take-charge tone I’d grown to know him for.
I nodded and finished drying my hands and face. Moving towards him, I said, “I just need to buy a chocolate and then I’m ready.”
He frowned. “A chocolate?” There was something off about him that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. While he had his take-charge voice on, he seemed distracted.
I cocked my head. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Why?” His gaze pierced mine and a hard look settled on his face.
“I don’t know. You just seem off.”
“I’m fine,” he threw out and I knew he was lying by the way his eyes avoided mine, but I also knew this was not the time to challenge him on it. He took a step back and muttered, “Can we just get your chocolate and get back on the road?”
“No need to get your grumpy pants on,” I said as I passed him and headed in the direction of the service station shop. I didn’t wait for him, but the sound of his boots crunching on the gravel told me he was close behind.
He followed me into the shop, which surprised me. I’d figured he would wait at his bike. When I placed a Snickers bar on the counter, he handed over five dollars to pay for it. I said nothing and allowed him to guide me back outside to his bike. Something had definitely rattled him and I wanted to know what it was. Havoc was a mystery I wanted to solve.
* * *
“I’ve gotta head out,” Havoc said as he did up his belt.