I can’t stop the way the corners of my mouth turn up even as I roll my eyes. “You are such a liar.”
Mike’s expression sobers, his voice full of sincerity when he says, “I would never lie to you, Hailey.”
I don’t respond. I just stare up at him.
“Do you believe me?”
I give a small nod of my head, but it doesn’t seem to ease his concern. His fingers thread into my hair, and he rubs tender circles over my temple with his thumb. “I want to give us a shot. I want this to work.” He pauses like he wants me to say something, but I don’t know what to say. Danica forbade it. And besides, he’s leaving in a matter of hours, if not less, and I won’t see him again for weeks. Months. We’re not even together yet and he’s already leaving.
“I’m going to be gone for a long time,” he continues, “and you know there are fans . . . girls.” I feel his fingers tense in my hair like they want to drum against my scalp. “But you only need to know one thing.”
“And that is?”
“I don’t want them,” he promises. “I want you. I’ve waited for you for too long to mess this up.”
“You’ve waited for me?” I ask, incapable of understanding. We just met. He didn’t even know I existed before a few weeks ago.
“I’ve waited for you my whole life, Hailey,” Mike says, and when a silent breath catches in my throat, he waits for me to release it. “Will you give me a shot?”
That question is so much more complicated than he knows. If Danica knew I was in his bed right now . . . if she knew all the ways he touched me last night . . .
I worry the inside of my lip, wondering how Mike and I could ever possibly work. We’d have to keep our relationship a secret from Danica, and if Lifetime movies have taught me anything, it’s that secret relationships are never a good idea.
And frankly, neither are long-distance relationships. When I was eighteen, I was dating a guy named Tom, and he cheated on me after he went off to state college. Granted, I was kind of relieved, since it meant I didn’t have to keep spending hours on the phone each night listening to how much he missed me, but still . . .
And Mike is going to have so much more opportunity than a frat house at state college. He’s going to have girls literally lining up. They’ll be in single-file outside of his clubs. They’ll be screaming his name in the front row of his shows. They’ll be standing outside of his bus, in short skirts and skimpy tops.
“What would giving us a shot entail?” I surprise myself by asking, and even though I haven’t answered yet, Mike is already smiling.
“Let me date you,” he says. “Don’t date anyone else while I’m gone. Just me.”
“You’ll be on the other side of the world,” I point out, and he brushes his fingers over my arm, sending goose bumps dancing over my skin.
“I could be on the other side of the universe, Hailey, and it wouldn’t keep me from you.”
Butterflies swarm in my stomach at the sincerity in his words, at the promise in his eyes, and in spite of my dry throat, I nod and manage a tiny “Okay.”
“Okay?” he asks with hope glinting in his eyes.
This is probably the wrong decision. I’m probably going to regret it. But I started falling for Mike Madden the moment I made him laugh beside me on his tour bus, and I don’t have the strength to break my own heart. Not today, not with his eyes shining with happiness, not when I’m the one who put it there.
“Okay,” I say again, and Mike seals the promise with a kiss that wraps itself around my worries and makes them disappear. They’ll matter tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, but for now, this morning, there is only Mike Madden—rock star, gamer, pizza lover, drumstick twirler, beer drinker, sex god.
My boyfriend.
We’ll have to say goodbye soon, but for better or worse, I know this is just the beginning.
Chapter 36
Dee: Hailey, please PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD tell us you had mind-blowing sex with Mike last night.
Rowan: And that you two weren’t axed to death in the woods. . . .
Dee: Mike’s truck was missing!
Rowan: Maybe the axe murderer took it.
A schoolgirl smile consumes my face as I sit alone in Mike’s empty house and type back, I had mind-blowing sex with Mike last night.
Dee: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
Rowan: OMG!
Kit: Why am I in this conversation?
My face flames hot as I realize it’s more than just me, Dee, and Rowan in this group text.
Unknown number: YASSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
Me: Who is that?
Unknown number: HOW CAN I BE A PROPER FAIRY GODFRIEND WHEN NO ONE KNOWS WHO I AM?
Dee: Calm your tits, Leti.
Rowan: Is your car still in the parking lot back at the woods, Hailey?
Kit: Hailey, did Mike leave yet?
I finish plugging “unknown number” into my phone as Leti, and then I rub a line between my eyes and tell Rowan that yes, my car is still back at the woods, and Kit that yes, Mike just left. I know he’s running late, since we dragged our goodbye out longer than we should have, but it hurt to let him go, and I could tell how much he struggled with leaving.
He gave me a key to his house before he left, insisting that he wanted me to have it just in case Danica kicked me out again. And then he told me that he’d be performing in a time zone two hours behind me tonight, and promised to call me before his show. He offered to make himself even later by taking me to pick up my car, but I insisted I could find someone else to take me, so he left me with a kiss that lingered against my lips, and I stood in his driveway watching his truck disappear down the road.
Me: Rowan, can you pick me up from Mike’s place?
Rowan: Already on my way.
In Mike’s shower, I let the water wash the scent of him from my skin, and my eyes begin to sting. He’s going to be gone a month and a half, and my heart already aches at the thought of it. I remember how hard it was when I avoided him for the week after I realized I’d developed a crush on him, and now I have to multiply that by six.
At least we’ll be able to talk on the phone . . .
I close my eyes under the water and see the way he smiled at me this morning as he lay beside me, playing with my hair. I won’t see him again for six weeks. I won’t feel his fingertips on my skin or his mouth on my lips, and after learning how good those things feel, it hurts. He’s only been gone for forty minutes, and my entire body already aches from missing him.
When I answer Rowan’s knock on the door, my hair is still wet and I’m wearing my borrowed leggings from last night under one of Mike’s smallest T-shirts. I’m swimming in it, but it wraps itself comfortingly around me in spite of the hole in my chest and the stinging in my eyes. Rowan stands on his doorstep, taking in the sight of me before wrapping me in a tight hug.
Her eyes looked red like she’d been crying on the way here, so I hold her just as tightly. “He’ll be back soon,” I assure her of Adam, and she nods against my cheek.
“Mike too.”