No, we’re fierce.
They don’t have to vote me in and give me a tattoo for me to be one of them. I’d like to see them get rid of me now.
Wyatt points his finger at Amber and warns her that she’s going to pay for this show of insolence later, to which she smirks and blows him a kiss, telling him she can’t wait. Duke’s the first to break. He shakes his head, turns on his heel, screams, “Fuck,” and stomps back into the room. Slowly, the rest of the men follow.
“We have something to say.” I do my best to keep my voice steady, but it breaks at the end when Ryan moves toward me. Hurt fills his eyes, both for what I’m doing and what he’s doing to me, no doubt. I put my hand up to stop him and shake my head. I won’t lean on him for this. I made the choice to interrupt the boys on my own, and I’ll answer for that choice on my own.
“No shit?” Grady says. A tone of snide disapproval evident in his tone. Holly moves through the room and moves to stand beside him. In a move that looks loving and supportive, she laces her fingers in his. Only, I don’t miss the way her nails dig into his skin. I’ve come to love Holly for her quiet but firm strength. Not even Grady, the new VP, calls attention to it. His jaw ticks as he stares me down.
“You don’t have to like me or trust me to listen to me,” I say, my eyes still affixed to Grady’s. He’s been the most difficult to win over. Even Ian, my own brother, was less challenging to get to know, and that man is like Fort Knox with his heart, but I’m sneaky. I’ve wormed my way in. He just won’t admit it yet.
“This isn’t about liking the choices we have to make. This is about doing the things we must in order to protect our family.”
“You’re not going,” Ryan says tersely.
“And how are you going to stop me?” I ask with ice in my voice.
“I’ll tie you to a chair if I have to,” he says.
Feeling brave, I flit my eyes to my twin brother and smile. Michael and I barely look alike now, thanks to puberty. Ian watches us, his half siblings, with deft interest.
“You wanna tell him how well that’s going to work, or shall I?”
Ryan’s eyes slide to Michael, dislike still as evident as ever. I don’t realize what I’ve said until it’s out there. Michael, in a fit of rage, tied me to a chair and beat me in an attempt to save my life. It was wrong, and after nearly two years of healing, I’ve forgiven him. Ryan hasn’t, and I’m not sure if I were in his shoes I’d forgive him either. He doesn’t know Michael the way I do. He doesn’t know how we were raised, the way our father sees women, or the way he thinks they ought to be punished for stepping out of line. They really need to get over this shit at some point, though. I might hit menopause before my man lets go of the grudge at this rate.
My mom, Ruby, was Queen Bee around here for over fifteen years when my stepdad, Jim, gave up his presidency. It’s only been a few months, but they’re happier this way. The transition has been pretty smooth, all things considered. The biggest obstacle has been Ryan holding an officer position as sergeant-at-arms while Jim no longer has a rank. His choice, though. Wyatt tried to at least make him his VP, but Jim’s maintained that he wants easy from now on. Jim wanting easy explains why he stands in the corner, silent and not meeting anyone’s eyes. I notice that Mom is watching him closely.
“Enough,” she says loudly. Even Ryan simmers down a little at her voice. It’s still weird, thinking about the fact that, for all intents and purposes, she’s his mom, too. I share her blood, but she raised him. Neither of us is any less her child, but it sure makes thinking about the whole situation strange.
“In the last two years I’ve seen this club run itself into the ground because we’re making decisions with our hearts and not our heads. Part of that is on me. I’ll never be able to repay you all for what you’ve done to save my daughter,” she pauses and looks at Michael. “And now my son, too.”
I don’t cry much anymore, but if ever there was something that could make it happen . . .
“I know why you want to protect us, but you need to look around.” Her voice is softer now. She’s pleading. Mom and I have talked about this a lot on our own, a little with Mindy, and even some with Jim. Jim’s old school through and through, and even though he gave up his spot as president because he was going soft, he’s still rougher around the edges than the rest of them. As long as it’s not his call, he’s good with letting us come. It’s a weird paradox he’s got going on in his head, and I don’t pretend to understand it. I wouldn’t want to have to make the calls he’s had to.
“Every single one of your women has blood on her hands on behalf of this club.”
“Not putting you in danger, Ma,” Ian says, finally breaking the quiet.