SCORPIUS: Thank you. Good to know. Second point: Do either of you know what Polyjuice tastes of? Because I’ve heard it tastes of fish and if it does I will just vomit it back up. Fish doesn’t agree with me. Never has. Never will.
DELPHI: Consider us warned. (She knocks back the potion.) It doesn’t taste of fish. (She begins to transform. It’s agonizing.) Actually it tastes quite pleasant, yum. It is painful but . . . (She burps, loudly.) Take it back. There is a — slight — (She burps again, she turns into HERMIONE.) Slight — overpowering — fishy residue.
ALBUS: Okay, that’s — wow.
SCORPIUS: Double wow.
DELPHI/HERMIONE: This really doesn’t feel how I — I even sound like her! Triple wow.
ALBUS: Right. Me next.
SCORPIUS: No. No way, José. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it (he puts on a pair of familiar-looking glasses with a smile) together.
ALBUS: Three. Two. One.
They swallow.
No, that’s good. (He’s racked with pain.) That’s less good.
They both start to transform and it’s agonizing.
ALBUS turns into RON, SCORPIUS into HARRY.
The two look at each other. There’s a silence.
ALBUS/RON: This is going to be slightly weird, isn’t it?
SCORPIUS/HARRY (full of drama — he’s really enjoying this): Go to your room. Go straight to your room. You’ve been an incredibly awful and bad son.
ALBUS/RON (with a laugh): Scorpius . . .
SCORPIUS/HARRY (tossing his cloak over his shoulder): It was your idea — I be him and you be Ron! I just want to have a little fun before I . . . (And then he burps loudly.) Okay, so that’s utterly horrible.
ALBUS/RON: You know, he hides it well, but Uncle Ron’s got a bit of a gut growing.
DELPHI/HERMIONE: We should go — don’t you think?
They emerge onto the street. They enter a telephone box. They dial 62442.
TELEPHONE BOX: Welcome, Harry Potter. Welcome, Hermione Granger. Welcome, Ron Weasley.
They smile as the telephone box disappears into the floor.
ACT ONE, SCENE SEVENTEEN
MINISTRY OF MAGIC, MEETING ROOM
HARRY, HERMIONE, GINNY, and DRACO pace around a small room.
DRACO: Have we searched thoroughly beside the tracks . . .
HARRY: My department have searched once and are searching again.
DRACO: And the Trolley Witch is not able to tell us anything useful?
HERMIONE: The Trolley Witch is furious. She keeps talking about letting down Ottaline Gambol. She prides herself on her Hogwarts delivery record.
GINNY: Have there been any instances of magic reported by the Muggles?
HERMIONE: None so far. I have made the Muggle Prime Minister aware and he is filing what is known as a misper. Sounds like a spell. It isn’t.
DRACO: So now we’re relying on Muggles to find our children? Have we told them about Harry’s scar too?
HERMIONE: We’re merely asking the Muggles to help. And who knows how Harry’s scar might be involved but it’s certainly a matter we’re taking seriously. Our Aurors are currently investigating anyone involved in Dark Magic and —
DRACO: This is not Death Eater–related.
HERMIONE: I’m not sure I share your confidence.
DRACO: I’m not confident, I’m right. The sort of cretins pursuing Dark Magic now . . . My son is a Malfoy, they wouldn’t dare.
HARRY: Unless there’s something new out there, something to — GINNY: I agree with Draco. If this is a kidnap — taking Albus I understand, taking them both . . .
HARRY locks eyes with GINNY, it becomes clear what she wants him to say.
DRACO: And Scorpius is a follower, not a leader, despite everything I’ve tried to instill in him. So it’s undoubtedly Albus who got him from that train and my question is, where would he take him?
GINNY: Harry, they’ve run away, you and I know it.
DRACO notices the couple staring at each other.
DRACO: Do you? Know it? What aren’t you telling us?
There’s a silence.
Whatever information you’re concealing, I recommend you share it now.
HARRY: Albus and I had an argument, the day before last.
DRACO: And . . .
HARRY hesitates and then makes brave eye contact with DRACO.
HARRY: And I told him that there were times when I wished he weren’t my son.
There’s another silence. A profoundly powerful one. And then DRACO takes a dangerous step towards HARRY.
DRACO: If anything happens to Scorpius . . .
GINNY steps in between DRACO and HARRY.
GINNY: Don’t throw around threats, Draco, please don’t do that.
DRACO (roar): My son is missing!
GINNY (an equal roar): So is mine!
He meets her look. There’s real emotion in this room.
DRACO (lip curling, every inch his father): If you need gold . . . Everything the Malfoys have . . . He’s my sole heir . . . He’s my — only family.
HERMIONE: The Ministry has plenty in reserve, thank you, Draco.
DRACO makes to leave. He stops. He looks at HARRY.
DRACO: I don’t care what you did or who you saved, you are a constant curse on my family, Harry Potter.
ACT ONE, SCENE EIGHTEEN
MINISTRY OF MAGIC, CORRIDOR
SCORPIUS/HARRY: And you’re sure it’s in there?